[asthut]

Hey all – I have been experiencing insomnia since February. The initial 1-2 months I had frequent sleepless nights with tightness in the chest and severe sleep anxiety. That has since waned but I continue to have a nervous feeling throughout the day about sleep where the fear of not sleeping or the doubts on whether or not I will sleep creep in. Around 75% of my nights I am getting 6-7 hours of sleep but the bad nights with 2-4 hours of sleep are still present. Does anyone have tips on how to get past the final hump on insomnia?

I have spent a lot of time relying on accepting my thoughts about sleep but also countering them with the fact that I was made with a God given ability to sleep and “thinking about sleep” is not necessary for me to actually get sleep.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, asthut! Nervous feelings and fears are natural and normal — they are evidence that your brain is doing its job of looking out for you. Many people find that when they (perhaps understandably!) try to fight or avoid those feelings they are more likely to struggle with them.

As you suggested, thinking about sleep isn’t necessary for sleep to happen. And, not thinking about sleep isn’t necessary for sleep to happen, either. Sleep can happen regardless of what we are thinking or feeling (or not thinking or feeling). When we go to war with our minds or wakefulness, though, sleep becomes very difficult.

How do you currently respond when those remaining difficult nights show up? How do you respond on the days following them?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[asthut]

Thank you Martin for your reply. I think responding to thoughts about sleep has been my biggest challenge, both during the day and at night.

I struggle with accepting what I am hearing and responding in such a way that will eventually minimize the presence of the thoughts all together.

My latest response is that you can’t control sleep and “it is what it is.” While I absolutely desire great sleep every night, since I can’t control sleep anyway, why am I investing any energy into it in the first place?

I’ve also responded with God made me with the ability to sleep. I was a great sleeper before insomnia struck. There is nothing physically wrong with me and I don’t have anything to worry about.

Last night I had one of the roughest nights I’ve had in awhile. The presence of insomnia seems to occur in waves where I will get back on track for a week or two but then I let the thoughts back in and fall off the wagon. Any recommendations on how to respond to the thoughts during the day and night would be very helpful. I appreciate all the help from this forum and podcasts. You absolutely rock and are a big part of the reason insomnia hasn’t completely taken my life.

[Martin Reed]

Thanks for your kind words 🙂

You clearly have an open and a curious mind and are ready and willing to explore and practice a different approach. Not everyone has those strengths and not everyone is ready for change. Change is hard!

It sounds as though trying to stop thoughts requires a lot of effort, energy, and attention — and, sooner or later, they show up anyway. So, all that effort, energy, and attention is wasted and might also be making the thoughts more difficult when they show up.

An alternative might be to acknowledge your thoughts when they show up. To make space for them to exist. To allow them to come and go as they choose. To observe them rather than fight them.

Your experience tells you that these thoughts are going to show up anyway. How might things be different if you practice building skill in allowing them to come and go without resistance?

PS: You might also replace the word “thoughts” with the word “wakefulness” if you are looking to apply this approach to insomnia, too 🙂

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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