[R.E.M]

Hi all

I don’t know what happened but it feels like I’m this setback I can’t get through. Feels like my worst one and with every setback I feel like I get weaker. I’ve had 3 sleepless nights this week. At the beginning of this year I was having a bad night (and it wasn’t 100% sleepless) every 2 weeks but I was so annoyed because I just wanted the bad night gone completely but now I envy that now that my bad nights have increased in frequency. I even started caring less about sleep. My current sleep window is 1:30am – 8:00am but i probably need to make it tighter as im not seeing any improvement these last two weeks (or do I need to give it more time?) am I just being impatient?

How do I shake this? How do I get back to making progress again? Insomnia for 6 months feels like a life time.

[Manfred]

I can relate so much. I am in a deep hole too although I work with a sleep restriction window of 5,5 hours – but “only for 10 days”. Most of the times, I get some sleep (guess 3 hours). My issue is clearly anxiety and hyperausal. Getting sometimes intrusive thoughts too.

I am trying mindfulness, acceptance aso. But deep down, I cannot accept and I do resist. I know this is the wrong way to go but I don’t know how to change it. And the vicious cycle goes on and on, since I now think that I will never overcome this anxiety / insomnia, what gives me even “existential threats” leading – of course – to more anxiety.

[sleepykieran]

These posts are so familiar to me. I went through the same thing for 3 years, up until a year ago. As you’ve both said, the problem is anxiety caused by the very fear of not sleeping.
You need to train your subconscious to allow you to sleep. As you may have noticed, it doesn’t respond to logical arguments 🙂 … it does however respond to repetition. If you can keep telling yourself how great a sleeper you are (even if you think it’s nonsense) the subconscious will get the message. Of course it’s better if you can actually put a positive spin on things (e.g. wow great, I got 4 whole hours sleep last night, that’s better than so and so), but you don’t have to – you can just write down positive sleep statements in a book.
Sleep restriction will only help you if you believe it’s going to help you. Good luck.
FYI, these were my five mantras that ‘cured’ me. I still use them now for when I get a bad night’s sleep (everyone gets one of those now and again!)
– I am a great sleeper
– I’ve been sleeping really well
– I cope really well with little sleep
– I don’t care if I get a bad night’s sleep
– I don’t have to do anything! (for me, this meant getting out of bed at night when awake, this was a revelation when I realised I could stop bothering with this)

[Manfred]

@sleepykieran: Thanks for ur comment. May I ask: How exactly do u use these “mantras”? Do u write them down each day, do you say them loud (or in your head)? How often?

So u had 3 years of this anxiety. How was this time? How did u cope?

Thanks in advance – stay healthy

[sleepykieran]

Hi @Manfred , I said them at various times during the day, often to replace some negative sleep thought that popped in, but also when going for a walk, or in the bath. I also spent 10 mins repeating them gently during mindfulness. I also wrote them (and various other positive affirmations) down in a specially-bought notepad. I’ve just checked it and I filled out 12 pages in total, writing a page of them most days. I also bought a special pen 🙂 I think this helped.
Usually I said them in my head, but maybe occasionally quietly to myself.

I coped by putting on a brave face at work and with friends, but suffering underneath. Only my wife knew the truth; constantly exhausted, emotional, pretty much a mess.

I noticed a sentence you wrote “…I now think that I will never overcome this…”. This is simply a story you tell yourself, there’s no inherent truth to it. You can change this story.

Hope you get back to good health soon

[Jaran]

Thank you @sleepykieran. Very powerful suggestions!

[Author]

Posts