[aquarius740]

i know that the general rule of thumb is lights out by 10 pm, so i try to be in bed right around then on weeknights (i have to be up at 6 am for work). however, i’ve noticed that sometimes i will drift off initially only to wake up an hour or so later and be unable to fall back asleep for a few hours (due to the frustration from waking up, i think). i originally thought that it was a body-temperature or hormonal issue, but now i’m realizing that i might be making myself go to bed too early out of anxiety about my alarm going off at 6 the next morning (and getting the “elusive 8 hours”). around 9 pm, i’ll take a shower, have a piece of peanut-butter toast with some sleepytime tea and either read or do sudoku, and at the slightest signal of nodding off (usually 9:45 or so) i’ll be upstairs brushing my teeth. but i guess “nodding off” might not mean actual sleepiness. on weekends, i usually don’t go to bed until around 10:30 or 11, and i naturally stay asleep until 5:30 or 6:30 without an alarm clock. i’m wondering if i should just follow my weekend rhythm instead of trying to be a perfect good girl on weeknights, because i think the perfectionism thing is just making me frustrated and anxious.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum. I think you realize that you are probably going to bed too early. Where did you get the “general rule of thumb of lights out by 10 pm” from?

A far better rule is this: Only go to bed when you feel drowsy and ready for sleep.

I suspect you will find it helpful to implement a sleep window. You can read more about this on the sleep restriction page in the resources section of this website.

I hope this helps!

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[aquarius740]

yes, thank you – starting today, i’m going to practice listening to my body and ignoring the clock. i just get anxious about having to get up early for work the next morning so i force myself into bed before i’m ready… with less-than-favorable results every single time.  on the weeknights that i do fall asleep before 10:30 and stay asleep, i’ll be out cold until about 5 or 5:15 the next morning and i wake up feeling well rested. this tells me that around 6.5 hours is good for me. i’ve been trying too hard to follow a schedule that doesn’t work for me and then worrying about why it’s not working.

thanks again!

[sleepingamanda]

A clock has been a foe to me than a friend. I try not to use any alarm clocks as it makes my sleeping issue worse.

Typically I work all day long to make my self tired so that my brain calls me for bed. After talking the warm bath I just lay down on my bed(i use memory foam mattress).

I don’t keep an alarm clock on my bedside table, just a wall clock and that hangs behind my head. So no direct clock visibility.

This keeps me away from anxiety that I used to get while I was figuring out my insomnia.

[aquarius740]

why is time so important to us? i’ve started to think that maybe this is the main reason why people get anxious about sleep – too much clock watching, worrying about what time they have to get up the next morning, and  focusing on how many hours of sleep they get. i know our ancestors probably had rough nights, too, but they didn’t have clocks so they weren’t able to obsess over time like we do.

[Martin Reed]

An alarm clock is helpful to ensure we always get out of bed by the same time every day but the clock really tends to be more of an enemy at night. It’s best not to check the clock during the night since this only usually leads to worry and anxiety and this makes sleep more difficult. I covered this in a short YouTube video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHZSyhGZteU

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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