[amandamcgovern9]

im so angry and upset that im in tears. ive been dealing with this for so long i cant take it anymore. ive been doing cbti for weeks, still living my live no matter what because im not going to let insomnia take over it. but last week, i was actually falling asleep, i actually feel asleep normally 4 nights in a row, and i thought “oh my god wow its happening its working” and i knew that i would still have my ups and downs, but i go out and party at the weekend, obviously messing up my sleep – and now im back to square one. im not sleeping again, my anxiety and pain is just back to how it was because i got a taste of normal asleep again only for it to imminently be taken away from me – this whole week has been a joke. no real sleep, just anxiety and angry and pain. i feel like im going to have no choice but to drink every night just so i can actually sleep – i feel hungover every single morning because of lack of sleep. im just so sick of it. please for the love of god help me. im so desperate im having another breakdown because of this.

[Scott]

Welcome to the forum!

It can be disheartening to have a setback after you’ve experienced some progress but it doesn’t have to be the path forward after a night or two of sleep disruption. Are you currently implementing CBT-I techniques? Do you feel like you’re putting pressure on yourself to sleep or trying to force sleep to happen? How are you managing your anxious thoughts about your sleep issue when they arrive?

Scott J

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[amandamcgovern9]

i am but i have quite a busy social life which does involve not following the cbt i techniques because im going to bed so late – i get up at the same time everyday during the weekday but at the weekend when ive been out i let myself sleep in an hour or 2 more because i thought it was fine due to somewhat nearly sleeping normally again for a few days. but apparently i cant even have that luxury. ive just been staying so optimistic and positive for weeks now and im horrified that i let all the anger and depression consume me again all because i was getting better. it just feels never ending.

[Scott]

I’m glad to hear that you’re not allowing insomnia to disrupt those things in your life that are meaningful to you, such as your social life. Most who suffer from insomnia begin to change their daily activities to accommodate for lack of sleep so I’m glad to see that you aren’t.

Is the anxiety you mentioned revolved around your insomnia? The more we struggle with our anxious thoughts, the more intense and frequent the thoughts become. It’s an endless battle. Do you think you might be better served by allowing those negative and unhelpful thoughts to exist – to come and go as they please – and you redirect your focus to something more enjoyable, more meaningful?

Scott J

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[amandamcgovern9]

hi scott

youre right. its just hard knowing when it hits a point when the anxious thoughts come and then gives that physical reaction that you know it means youre fight or flight has now been triggered which means youre only gonna get 4 or less hours sleep. and then the fact i was almost getting a normal sleep again only for it to be taken away from me because i was so happy about sleeping normal has just made me think im never going to get out of this. once i get normal sleep again, i feel its going to be ruined by the fact im like wow im sleeping normal again! it’s almost like it triggers the pressure to sleep again

[amandamcgovern9]

thanks for taking the time to reply to me scott it means a lot

[Sleepybee]

I can so relate to this line of thinking! Getting to the point where insomnia is ‘ok’ has to be the ultimate goal – it’s a rhetorical question but how do we get there?? ?

[Chee2308]

Hello @sleepybee

Great question! As a recovered insomniac, I’m going to give you a spoiler alert and my answer from experience: Not fixing your sleep. And being okay with waking up during the night because it’s an evolutionary mechanism to keep you safe. While you can’t control sleep, you can quite often shift it via something called a sleep window and sticking to it.

Of course, that’s just my answer. Your journey might be a bit different. Martin’s and Scott’s style, as you’d have taken notice, is prodding you along by asking a set of questions so you formulate your own answers. You come to your own conclusions. But ultimately, the destination is the same. I highly recommend you to sign up for the free 2 week course or even better, subscribe for the paid course for exclusive 1-to-1 coaching if you can afford it.

Good luck and I hope you get the most out of this journey.

[Scott]

Our brain does such a good job ensuring we’re safe. Sometimes though, it gets a little carried away with it’s frequent, and usually unhelpful, thoughts. Ironically though, it’s not the thoughts that cause us to lose sleep, it’s the fight we start with them – that never ending tug-o-war. Instead of struggling with your thoughts when they arrive, do you think there might be something you could be doing that would be more beneficial, more enjoyable?

Chee makes a very valid thought also – the more we try to “fix” our sleep issue, the more the issue perpetuates. I wonder if all that pressure you’re putting on yourself to sleep is a contributing factor to your insomnia along with your relationship with your thoughts?

Scott J

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Sleepybee]

Hi Chee,

That’s really interesting! I think I already have a good idea of why this has become a problem for me. When I look at some of my underlying fears it actually makes sense that my brain is reacting this way in response to not being able to sleep! I can really see how not trying to control sleep and the fake it till you make it way of living your life (not cancelling plans etc) can stop the insomnia in its tracks.

I have signed up to the 2 week course which is really great and just recently started with the sleep window. Feeling very hopeful that’s for sure.

Thanks very much Chee for the insight and well wishes.

[Chee2308]

Hello everyone!

This is a productive discussion. But anyways, here’s my summary:
1. Your sleep is not broken. Never was or will. Your body will get what it needs as long as you allow the right conditions for it to happen.
2. Feeling fear is normal when you don’t understand something. Your brain is only trying to protect you.

In both cases, nothing is broken. How to fix something that’s unbroken? Well, you can’t. That’s why it’s a futile exercise. You have to believe this 110%. Your personality might play a role as well. Pretending to ignore or ‘faking it’ just to sleep better or longer might be considered a sleep effort so I’d caution against it. That can only come when you fully realize sleep isn’t something you need to worry about. You then start reorganizing your other priorities in your life so sleep no longer becomes a huge part of it or becomes the main consideration. Good luck!

[Sleepybee]

Love it!!!

Thanks everyone!

[amandamcgovern9]

hi there

yes i live my life normally and try my best to accept the fear, my main thing is just dealing with the boredom i feel during the night. so when i get up to try and distract myself i feel no energy to do anything i actually enjoy like draw or something, i try and put a movie on but i just feel sick to my stomach watching a movie instead of sleeping. im just so bored of lying there awake distracting myself when i know my brain and body crave sleep.

[Author]

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