[Sleepy_In_Saint_Louis]

Hello everyone,

My insomnia started around 20 months ago after the birth of my second daughter. When my first daughter was born, I was on the verge of true insomnia (what I would define as preoccupation and focus on sleep which begets worse sleep and the cycle perpetuates itself); and with my second daughter, the PTSD of the first daughter coupled with the sleepless nights and focus on sleep really did me in. Knowing the night feedings were only a few hours apart, I would stress about falling asleep quickly enough to bank a few hours of sleep, and the focus and anxiety with trying to force sleep only made sleep harder to come by. The cycle started ad kept getting worse and worse. I realized the issue had hit a breaking point when my daughter was sleeping through the night and I was lucky to only catch a wink of sleep here and there at best. At my worst, I would go 72 hours of no sleep. Then came the sleeping pills (some of which I had horrible reactions to)…

Long story short, I was taking Valium every night to get to sleep and then one day tried to quit and suffered a debilitating withdrawal – so I went back to my original dose and SLOWLY tapered off. Now, I am working on tapering the other two meds I was on during this chapter of my life – Lexapro and Mirtazapine. I will say that my insomnia has improved compared to where it used to be, but it is still there and I know my underlying relationship with sleep needs to be improved – the feedback loops need to start to flow in reverse, and I finally feel like they are beginning to, little by little, as I become more educated on sleep as well as challenging the thoughts that seem to automatically infiltrate my mind.

I am currently working with a sleep coach as of two weeks ago (before I found Martin Reed’s site) and it’s been going well so far. Simply knowing that we only REALLY need like 5.5 hours of sleep, the gas (sleep drive) and brake (activation of fight or flight response) analogy, the fact that we can still have good days after poor nights of sleep, etc. have really helped me lower my “brake” response. It is still a work in progress, but for the first time in 20 months, I feel like I am on the cusp of sustainably addressing this issue and moving on with my life. For the first time in 20 months, I feel like I have HOPE, and I truly believe and trust in this process – and more than that, knowing that I have it within myself to sleep and to not need to rely on something else…..its powerful. The other night, I slept on my own for the first time in a long while – it gives me confidence in my body’s ability to do what it’s supposed to do, as long as I get out of my own way.

Now, as far as my struggle and what my Achilles heel is, it is this – when I don’t fall asleep within 15-30 minutes of my head hitting the pillow, it’s like my brain wakes up and is like “WHY aren’t we sleeping?!”. The process then starts…..I monitor for sleep (which is terrible because you can’t sleep if you are monitoring for it, but I don’t know how to get my brain to stop), sleep gets harder to come by, then I chase my tail in circles through the night – so the end result is usually either a sleepless night (when I can’t fall asleep quickly), or a decent night (6 hours) if I am able to fall asleep before my brain starts to worry about why I am not sleeping by now. Anyway, I know we all have our own unique stories and struggles, so I thought I would share mine. I feel like I have made and am continuing to make progress (I have not started sleep restriction yet but I will soon enough), but I’ll be honest in that these have been the most challenging 20 months of my life. I am the sole provider for my family of four, so I have a lot riding on me in that sense as well. I wish us all luck, and nice to meet you all!

Jim

[Martin Reed]

Hello Jim! Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story! How have you been doing since you posted?

You might find it helpful to explore why you become concerned about not falling asleep. When you don’t fall asleep relatively quickly and find yourself worried about this, what is going through your mind? Is the thought that the next day will be ruined if you don’t fall asleep? Is the thought that you won’t get any sleep if you don’t fall asleep really quickly?

Sometimes it can be helpful, during the day, to explore the accuracy of such thoughts and the likely outcome of such predictions. When we do this, we can often see that the thoughts we have that trigger arousal often aren’t very accurate — and often the consequences we envision or predict are rarely accurate or realistic.

When we can recognize that these thoughts and predictions are rarely accurate, it can really help lower the intensity of the arousal they can produce.

I hope this helps!

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Jjill]

Hello, was seeing how you are doing now? I also had insomnia occur with the birth of my daughter (pregnancy really) and just started a cbt-I course last week. It has been a rough week and have my spirits kind of low. Was seeing how things are going for you?

[Author]

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