[Kate17]

Hi there

I recently had what I consider a nervous breakdown. Which led me to the hospital. I went off my Zoloft in the summer and had a lot of stressful events happen in a 2 month period. Fighting with my Mother, My uncle passing away, conflict within my workplace, my dog almost passing away. It was a lot. I’m off work right now due to my insomnia and anxiety.

I tried to go through the sleep deprevation but it truly was awful for my mental health. I am now on Seroquel at night and a low dose of the Zoloft during the day. The Seroquel does not knock me out.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? And should I continue on with the getting up in the night and reading? I can fall asleep on the couch downstairs and tend to do this. The other night I did wake up on the night…went up to my bed and was able to sleep.

Any kind words or advice would be appreciated

[hiker]

Hi Kate17, while none of our paths are identical, ours seem to overlap. I was hospitalized for severe depression and was on a whole slew of medications. I definitely needed meds to get stabilized. I had to learn how my past had led to where I was (a long road, not necessarily the case for you—early childhood trauma, etc etc.). Then I had to learn how to face present situations (and it sounds like you’ve gotten slammed with a lot of these).

But I found that no med could guarantee good sleep. You build up a tolerance to sleep meds—they might still have value as this or that antidepressant, but no sleep guarantee.

As you have discovered, sleep sort of comes on its own, unplanned, like when you fall asleep on the couch. Believe me, I know it’s easier said than done, but to the extent that you can stop trying, sleep will happen.

I still have lousy sleep nights sometimes. When it happens, I get up rather than toss around, then I try to ….how to put it,…watch my mind, i.e. try to observe what thoughts are swirling around in there. I try to step back and observe, rather than swirl with them. It might be that there is some present day situation which is bugging me, and it sounds like you have had a lot of those lately with mom and work conflicts, and death/near death. And sometimes it might be some old stuff, like getting bullied at work 30+ years ago, who knows why it popped up in my head last night. But if I can observe it relatively dispassionately, rather than re-live the misery, I find it can pass, like clouds drifting by. The same goes for thoughts popping into my head during the day.

I wish I could give you a concise answer, but all I can say in conclusion is try to be gentle with yourself. And check out Martin’s material on this site, including emails and podcasts. I went through traditional Freudian psychotherapy for many years, and because of early trauma, I think I had to make that long exploration. But most people don’t, and I think the cognitive behavioral therapy which Martin describes can help in a lot less time.

Take care, you are not alone in this.

P.S.–Suggest check with pharmacists for sound, no-cost advice on meds. Best not to tweak the dosages on your own, if you have been doing this a bit.

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