[nickpack]

I’m joining this forum because for the last 2 months , I have not been able to get any consistency with getting a good night sleep.
I have tried mediation music, cocooning , sleepy time tea , a strong drink, melatonin, Advil PM and now my doctor wants me to take Ambien.
These methods work initially but not consistently. It’s like my body has forgotten how to go to sleep.
I believe it’s menopause and age related because apparently as women age , insomnia becomes a problem. What’s upsetting to me is that if this is a known
fact, why is there not more research and a solution !
I’m hoping that joining this forum will help me get some sensible solutions without getting addicted to sleep meds .

[hiker]

Hi nickpack, I am sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time.

It sounds like you know the sleep hygiene drill. In case you don’t know, another point is to avoid screen time before bedtime.

Doctors, especially M.D.s, are inclined to write you a prescription for this or that. I don’t know that you really get “addicted” to sleep meds as much as they offer only temporary relief at best. Not a bad thing when you are really up against it, but if there were a surefire drug to cure insomnia, you would have heard about it.

As far as research goes, the technical side has turned up only sleep apnea as a problem which medical engineering can solve via sleep studies and CPAP machines. Beyond that, insomnia is more esoteric, for lack of a better word. It defies solution in the way you solve things like crossword puzzles or how to fix an electrical circuit. I wish this were not so: I totally get just wanting to fix the damn thing once and for all.

I am glad you joined this site. For starters, you will see you are not even close to alone in this. Beyond that, I think you will see from the comments and Martin’s emails/podcasts that obsessing about sleep is counter-productive. Sleep anxiety takes on a life of its own. You can probably understand this easily on an intellectual level, but it can really be a bear when you’re tired. So it can help to hear the message again.

I am having a bit of a setback right now. I am doing my best to accept where I am at this moment. That might sound kind of passive, but I know that trying harder to sleep and sliding into panic when I don’t will not work.

I would have preferred to have slept better last night, but I am going to find some good spots to enjoy today anyway and not be too hard on myself. I hope you can, too.

[Chee2308]

Your sleep is what it is. That’s just the way it is and there’s next to nothing you can do about it. I wish people will come to this realization sooner because it saves them a lot of unnecessary suffering. Of course, you can still do things like practicing good sleep hygiene such as retiring and rising at the same time, keeping your bedroom cool, dark and comfortable etc but these things only make the conditions more conducive for sleep, it can’t directly affect sleep in the way which you expect. Your entire life has been a sea of change. You are getting older by the day and you can directly see the effects physically and mentally. Your life’s experiences will constantly shape your mindset about the things around you. Surely you think about certain things differently now than you were when you were a child! Everything is in a constant state of change so why would sleep be any different? To refuse to acknowledge these changes is akin to refusing to age biologically which is not only impossible (at least with current technology), but pretty ludicrous and beyond your control anyway.

Learn to accept the changes around you gracefully and not react to them so explosively, then perhaps you can live a more peaceful and happier life. Cultivate the mindset of not relentlessly insisting on certain outcomes in life because unbridled dissatisfaction about any aspect in life is most probably the root cause of all suffering. Good luck!

[Martin Reed]

When sleep wasn’t a problem, what did you do differently compared to all the things you’re doing now? Perhaps there might be an insight there?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts