[Takoba66]

Hi,
I’m new to this forum.

A little background about myself; I’m a 55 year old male and had been an average sleeper all my life. Suddenly, in late June 2021, I had a horrific episode of about 4-5 days with no sleep followed by 1 night of good sleep and another 6-7 nights of no sleep. I stupidly panicked, trusted my local doctor without doing my homework and started taking both a benzodiazepine and zolpidem at his direction. Soon after, I started very slowly tapering the benzo and am very close to the end. I plan to start tapering off the 10 mgs zolpidem when I feel recovered from the benzo. My sleep is very poor, averaging between 4-5 hours a night. I have headaches and anxiety much of the time and am mentally exhausted.

However, I know these drugs are not helping and I am desperate to get off them both. I also know I may face rebound insomnia and all kinds of other weird withdrawal symptoms. I am already dealing with the withdrawal symptoms from the benzo. I will not continue indefinitely on these drugs. I am prepared to face even more challenges as I taper off.

I have a zolpidem taper schedule of 10% every two weeks or so. The taper percentage is recalculated based on the current dosage after every cut (meaning the percentage cut stays at 10% every 2 weeks and does no increase in percentage as the pill amount decreases. This is standard practice when tapering.

I know Martin has a disclaimer about working with people on a benzo and it may not be possible for me to start working with him anytime soon. However, I hope this forum can be a source of support and help. I see that some people on here were able to taper off zolpidem and other drugs successfully. That is a source fo hope for me.

I hope some on this forum may be able to offer advice and support.

Best wishes to all.

[MelH89]

What benzo are you taking? I was on Zopiclone 7.5mg for 9 years every night and got off in May. The withdrawals were not bad from that as I had more of a psychological dependency. Benzos can be different but you’ve only been on them for 7 months which is better than being on them for years.

[Chee2308]

Hi guys!

Sleep can happen quite independently of stress or anxiety or whatever else that’s going on, otherwise virtually everybody wouldn’t be able to sleep at all! Everyone will have some sort of stress, it’s just life. But people still sleep regardless. You can make whatever connections you want about sleep but one thing is for sure: it will always happen at some point with the passage of time regardless of how stressed or anxious you get over it or the other things going on in your life. It’s just that you have chosen to obesess over it unnecessarily and quite unproductively. Because worrying about it won’t help you or your sleep or whatever problems you have in life. So just get over it! That time and effort would be better utilized to solve your other problems. Sleep will take care of itself, just getting in and out of bed at regular times is more than enough.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Chee2308.

[Takoba66]

Thanks for your replies MelH89 and Chee2308.
I am very grateful!

About your question MelH89,
I am taking Flunitrazepam (Rohypnol). I live outside the US.

Thanks for your encouraging words Chee2308.

You are right, I have been unhealthily and unproductively obsessed with sleep since this issue started. I know now I should just drop all my efforts, relax and not worry about how much or little sleep I get.

I’ve done all the reading and studying about sleep and cbt-i etc. For me, at the moment at least, worrying about sleep hygiene, meditating everyday, looking at possible supplements to try (after I get off zolpidem), worrying about everything I eat etc. is driving me nuts.

I have made this into a bigger challenge than it need have been but at least now I have some perspective and am less obsessed and more accepting.

Thanks again.

[Chee2308]

Hi @Takoba66

Best of luck to you and I hope you find your relief soon. As you start letting go, I hope the hurdles you need to jump over become smaller. But even when you are back to sleeping well, do expect the occasional off night, don’t be startled and it will pass. At the end of the journey, it’s really about your relationship with poor sleep and how you think about it which shapes your attitude and mindset towards it. You know you’ve truly overcome it when you think nothing about poor nights and go on as usual. The fear is completely gone. After that, it’ll be like you got the “insomnia jab” and you become immunized!

[Angeli]

Hello Takoba66!
First of all, congratulations on your courage to face life without drugs. And you’re right, as long as you don’t give up your efforts and sleep medication, nothing will work, as your brain will continue to keep you awake monitoring your struggle. Yes, this forum is a source of support and help. Here, I learned more and had better guidance than with all the doctors I’ve seen in my life. Recovering mentors and clients have taught me through their examples. It has very rich old posts. I’ve read them all and I keep coming back to strengthen myself in the moments of relapse that are few, but still happen occasionally. They just don’t bring me down anymore. I’m clean from medications, supplements and exertion and sleeping happily and soundly after a life ravaged by insomnia. I’m rooting for you! (sorry for the english)

[Takoba66]

Hi Chee2308 and Angeli,

Thanks for your kind posts.

Chee2308,

I love your mantra about dropping all effort and not even thinking about poor sleep. I am getting better at this. Alas, my sleep is not getting better yet.

Actually, I am becoming more and more convinced that the ambien is actually harming my ability to get better because I am so horrified that I am even on this medication. I hope I am not fooling myself…

Angeli,

You wrote elsewhere that “withdrawing the medicated drugs took a long time.” May I ask how long it took to get off Ambien?

[Angeli]

Well, in my case it took a long time because I was addicted for 20 years to various sleeping pills, antidepressants, antiallergics, melatonin, herbs, teas, CBD and supplements. My dependence was total. Physical and psychological. I really believed I needed to take all of that to get a few hours of bad sleep. And the more I took all those things, the less I slept. To remove everything took a long time. Even from melatonin and other herbs I had withdrawal crises. It wasn’t until I took Martin’s course and found this forum that I had the courage to let go of all drugs. It took my brain about 2 years to make new connections and learn to trust a life without drug relief. I had to change everything. The time to clear a drug will also depend on the level of mental dependence. The physique even clears relatively quickly, about 6 months, but if you continue with the fear of not being able to sleep, you end up going back to drugs. Hope this helps. Forgive me for the English.

[Ryan]

Just a thought, gabapentin addressed the benzo withdraw AND the rumination/sleep anxiety.

[Takoba66]

Thanks, Ryan. However, I don’t want to add on another drug. I’m trying to cut them out.

[Sazza]

Hi Takoba,
Well done for achieving what you’ve managed to achieve. I am trying to taper my zolpidem but I can’t get enough supply to taper it safely and slowly. How did you manage to get enough to taper it slowly?

[Takoba66]

Hi Sazza,

I live in Japan and saw my doctor once every two weeks and then once a month and he just checked on my taper and prescribed what I needed and I cut the tablets myself. I don’t know where you live but maybe you can get the zolpidem from an online source?

The main thing is to keep at the taper and don’t give up hope. If absolutely necessary, you could go faster with your taper. I have been in touch with some who have gone faster successfully. I’ve been off for about 18 months or so now (it seems like so long ago and, happily, seems like almost another life that I don’t even know exactly how long it’s been).

Life is infinitely better now that I’m off and I don’t worry about sleep anymore. Chee2308 gives some very wise advice above on this forum thread, I advise reading and re-reading their words!

[Packer Fan]

I got off of Benzo’s 5 years ago. I was doing great until recently when I had a flare-up. This is only the second time this has happened. Sadly it just occurred right after I started this course. It only ladt about 2 weeks last time. It’s been about 2 weeks now. The only effect I have with it is when I start to fall asleep, I wake up. I hope & pray it finishes running its course.

[Author]

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