[Lynzi]

I'm 55, the mother of seven grown up kids, the last two just started University this January so they had to move to Brisbane to do that.We live in a cottage by the water 3 hours north of Brisbane. I have been married for 36 years and my husband works in Maroochydore which is an hour and 45 minutes drive away so he stays with our eldest son and daughter-in-law in Noosa during the week. I've never had any problem sleeping, even sometimes catching a daytime nap. My insomnia started a few months ago when my husband stopped coming home week nights and I was nervous home alone at night, despite our two large dogs who would at least bark like crazy if anyone came into the yard. Even so, I always slept well Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights while he was here. Now I sleep maybe two hours each night, if I'm lucky.

I'm no longer nervous alone, so don't quite get what this is about.

I'm hoping to get some clues about how to get past this. I'm eternally optimistic that tonight will be the night I go back to my usual eight hours of oblivion.

Even if I do sleep for a couple of hours, I no longer get that instant knowledge on waking that I've been asleep which is weird. I do admit I watch the clock until about 3 am, waiting to drop off, and I'm always awake by 5am, so I do know how little sleep I'm getting and some nights I just don't sleep at all.

I don't want to resort to drugs.

The only factor I can think of is, I actually only own one dog, an Old English Sheepdog. The other,a black labrador, is one of our son's dog, and we are just looking after her until he gets back from Thailand and gets a house. This lab is incredibly strong and I can't control her when we walk the dogs so my husband walks her on weekends and I can't just walk my sheepdog during the week as the Lab barks the whole time we are out of the yard if I try. Prior to her moving in, I used to walk my dog for an hour or two every day.

Maybe it's the lack of this exercise that's causing the insomnia? I don't know.

Anyway, I have lots of hobbies. I write stories online for ladies, my husband calls them 'housewife porn' but they are just little romantic tales on a fan fiction website. My most popular story has had 376,823 hits to date. I've had to stop writing because I lose track of the storyline because I'm so tired.

I sew, knit, listen to music, try to learn guitar from lessons on my iMac, collect vintage clothes off ebay, restore vintage dolls from the 60's, and am painting all our furniture white 'shabby chic' style, so I do have things to do. I don't work outside the house currently, and wouldn't be much good at holding down a job anyway at he moment.

So, cheers, I hope to get to know some of you in time, Lynzi

[Martin Reed]

Hi Lynzi and welcome to Insomnia Land. I've visited Brisbane and Noosa – you live in a great part of the world!

It sounds like you have a lot of clues to follow up in terms of beating your insomnia. How much longer will you have to look after the black lab? Have you raised your sleeping problems with your husband?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Lynzi]

Hi Martin, yes i have. We actually realized something this morning. When the two youngest kids left home, they took their bed frames and left their mattresses and I slid them under our bed. Now I'm wondering if I've made the bed base too firm….it's a metal framed bed with those bendy planks under the mattress…the two spare mattresses are jammed in so tight we actually had to lift our bed to get them under, and used the base to squash them down until the bed legs touched the floor again. It's rather like sleeping on concrete, come to think of it! Shows how sleep deprived I am for not thinking of it earlier.. Anyway, I'm sleeping in the guest room for a few nights to see if it makes any difference.

The dog…well, you know how it is. We agreed to have her for 3 weeks about six months ago. I have given my son a deadline of August because there's a couple in our street who had 3 black labs who all came from the one litter and all have just died of old age, within the last 3 months, and they would adore to take her so if he hasn't got his act together by then, I'm giving her away. I have a rule…anything left here for a year becomes mine to do with as I wish!

[Martin Reed]

Good luck, and keep us updated!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Robskie]

Hi Lynzi

I'm also from Qld (Brisbane) and I'm 53. Can I offer a possible reason for your insomnia? ……menopause. You are smack bang at the right age.

Like you, I was always able to sleep any where, any time, and even have regular nanna naps in the afternoon on the weekends, without affecting my sleep that night. However, that all changed almost two years ago when I became post menopausal. A lot of people associate menopause with just have hot flushes, but there are so many more symptons, like insomnia.

My suggestion (if you haven't done so already) is talk to your doctor and maybe try some HRT, or if you are already on HRT maybe you could try a different type. I'm not saying that HRT is a cure-all for menopause. Far from it. I've been on and off various HRTs for the last 18 months. Some work really well for a long period of time and then stop working, and some will only work for a few weeks and then stop working. I am currently trialing another one, and I've been having a bad time of it, but last night I did sleep better so I'm hoping that my body is adjusting to the new hormones and things will settle. Time will tell.

Anyway, I really understand how you are feeling. I also understand that feeling of sleeping, but not feeling like I've been asleep. It's very weird. I chat regularly to a meno lady on a UK forum who is also having sleep problems and she has described this exact same feeling, so you are not alone.

[Tommy ToXen]

Welcome to the site, Lynzi!

I noticed you say you don't get out of the house much, I wonder if this could be linked to the insomnia.

I say this because back before I had my job, my insomnia was at its height. I didn't go out much, was stuck in all the time. This, I believe, can cause stress, and sleeplesness.

Once I got my job, for the first couple of weeks I still had insomnia, then I moved into the pub to take over as the manager, by time the pub closed I was so tired I soon started to manage to fall asleep at 3-4 AM and get a good 4-5 hour sleep before I had to be up again.

Which was actually quite good for me.

Of course the pub shut down in January, leaving me jobles again, and insomnia has crept back as again, I don't go out much any more.

So I really do wonder if, being stuck in and going stir crazy, is linked to insomnia.

[Lynzi]

Thanks for answering, Robskie and Tommy. Firstly, yes, I think it could be linked to menopause, a few people have now told me what you said, about the weird not aware of being asleep thing happening to them at this age. And yes, Tommy, being stuck in the house and not exercising has to be another factor. My husband has taken two weeks off work to see if it makes a difference. So far he has been home one week and I've slept like a log. Although I did all the usual recommended things like get the TV out of the bedroom, not read in bed, etc he pointed out we have always had a tv and read in bed as well and its never stopped me sleeping before so he bought a new bed and put it in the den, where the Tv is, and we've been sleeping in there. I have not managed to see the end of any tv show that starts at 9.30pm and often sleep through bits of 8.30 shows. I'm hoping to get back into a sleep pattern this fortnight but will keep you updated once he goes back to being a weekend husband. While I'm no longer nervous alone during the week nights, I do hate having an empty space beside me in the bed but we have been married 36 years so I guess thats pretty much expected. I'm so enjoying the sleep I'm getting this week, it's like being on vacation after working for a year! If nothing else, I will have gained two weeks of good sleep,aye! Cheers,Lynzi

[Robskie]

Hi Again Lynzi

TBH, I've never believed that nonsense about “getting the TV out of the bedroom”. I've often found the TV to be a very useful tool to fall asleep in front of. All my life I've never had a sleeping problem and for about the last 20 years have had a TV in the bedroom and it's never caused me a problem. So whenever anyone tells me it's a bad thing I just go “NEXT!”….lol…

Anyway, I hope you manage to overcome your insomnia problem. If you need a good forum to talk about menopause with other meno ladies, and get some very useful tips, I can give you the website address for one. I've found so much useful information on it, and I'm now about to embark on a new treatment plan which I have very high hopes for, and wouldn't have known about otherwise because it's not available in Australia. I won't post the address here, as I'm not sure how Martin feels about posting website addresses for other forums, but if he doesn't mind I can post it here for other ladies in need of help.

[Author]

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