[lora]

I’ve had CBT-I in person therapy, and found some of it to be useful, in terms of changing patterns of thought and behavior developed around insomnia that weren’t serving me. I do better with initially falling asleep, but am still not getting nearly enough sleep for all the times I wake up per night, and often stay awake. And I’m on a sleep med taper that is never ending. Eventually, as I guess we all do, I’ll get so exhausted that I pass out and have a “good” night. Sleep loss affects me in many ways, some physical (headaches, stomach/GI distress), some emotional. I get very emotional when I’m on a roll of not sleeping, it’s all pretty standard but that doesn’t make it easier to handle. So, I’m reading here that a lot of people refuse to let insomnia win, and regardless of level of sleeplessness and fatigue, go about their day as if there was no problem. I admire that, but I wonder, are these people who are going about their normal days at work and play, in the company of others, are they also experiencing problematic physical and emotional fall out from their insomnia, and how do they work around that? You haven’t slept properly in days, your head hurts, your tummy is upset, your – ahem – bathroom use is increased dramatically and your mood so altered, tears flowing, no reason except you’re exhausted. How do you “pretend” all that isn’t happening and go about your day? I haven’t found a way.

• This topic was modified 3 months, 1 weeks ago by lora.

[Chee2308]

Hello @lora

When insomniacs said they recover, it means they no longer let their insomnia urges or obsessive thoughts bother them. That’s when they have truly become free from these attachments, that they have discovered true and complete liberation. It’s hard to explain to you when your head is so wrapped up around these thoughts about sleep. I advise you to take it one step at a time, whenever a sleep thought creeps up to you, you find a way to just let it go. Like leaves dropping into a stream or river, just letting the water carry them away. Over time, you will get better and better at letting go. Eventually, you achieve complete liberation when you break free from all kinds of notions. Essentially, you just realize that these are just notions or ideas inside your head and you can adjust your level of response to them.

Your body’s ability to sleep operates on a whole new different level by itself regardless of thoughts and your attempts at intervening have been completely unnecessary. You recover in the sense that you just don’t feel the need or urge to control them anymore. It’s like if you know you have no problems walking and there’s nothing wrong with your feet, there’s no need to keep walking just to prove to yourself you can walk! Now you’d rather just sit instead. And essentially that’s what you are trying to do every night when you self-identify as an insomniac, trying desperately to prove to yourself you can sleep until it becomes a daily mental struggle. When you’ve recovered, you just don’t need to prove anything to anyone anymore, you become as welcoming to sleeplessness as much as sleepiness, because you are fine with either outcome. Good luck and I hope you find your liberation soon.

[Martin Reed]

Hello @lora and welcome to the forum!

What you have described is difficult — your head hurts, your tummy is upset, you are using the bathroom more, your mood is altered, you might cry, you feel exhausted.

In the presence of all that really difficult stuff, you have a choice to make:

1. Do less of what matters and withdraw from life.

2. Acknowledge the presence of all this difficulty, be kind to yourself in return, and continue to do things (perhaps fewer things or less intensive things — but still things!) that are aligned with your values so that keep you moving toward the life you want to live.

You are the expert on you, so only you can decide which choice is right for you at any given time. It’s not about pretending none of this doesn’t exist — it’s about acknowledging that it’s present and that although we might not be able to control it or get rid of it through effort we can always choose how we respond to it.

You can read a bit more about this kind of approach here. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[asthut]

@Chee2308 You mentioned, “Whenever a sleep thought creeps up to you, you find a way to just let it go.”

What worked for you, how did you let go?

[Chee2308]

Hello @asthut!

Welcome to this forum. That’s something we as former insomniacs get used to and eventually get better and better at letting go. We get less and less motivated to respond to such thoughts anymore. To the point that I actually find it comical when I observe my own brain trying to fear-monger me like before that I now interpret as my over-protective mind pinging me with useless crap.

You’ll find your own way to deal with it, everyone does. But the common theme is people just get over that fear and no longer let it consume them. Good luck to you.

[Author]

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