[Christine]

Hello all, I found this sight with the hopes that speaking to others who struggle with sleep, can benefit me in a positive way.

I am particularly exhausted today, and I tell people it feels like trying to drive your car with the parking brake on.

Friends, my question to you is: How do you make lemonade out of lemons? How do you get through some of your most tiring days?

Can you come across “rested” even though you’re beyond tired?! I find that I have to fake it quite often. I am a Mom to school age children, so many times I have to provide transportation for them, grocery shop and make dinner.

Sometimes I give in to the fatigue and rest on the couch much of the day and get up only as necessary.

It is honestly very surprising how much a tired person can get done. Granted, I feel like my quality of life is suffering. I remember when I slept “every day” and exercised most days.

I mourn those days. Pine for them. Feel sorry for myself often. This is not how I had envisioned my midlife turning out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Steve]

Quite frankly, Christine, I don’t know how I get through my day. When my insomnia first hit in late October of 2018, I was only waking up through half the night so I was able to function okay at work and karate. As time went on, it got worse until in February, I went four days on one hour’s sleep. That was the worst part of the insomnia. Since that time, and after trying out several anti-depressants and sleeping pills that either didn’t work or only worked for a couple days and then quit, I am able to get about 4.5 to 5.5 hours of sleep a night on my own without pills. And that isn’t straight hours, I keep waking up during that time period which I think is the worst part. But that amount of sleep is a drain and I had to cut back on karate as it was hard enough for me to get through the work day. For some reason, the symptoms I get from insomnia hit me hardest in the morning and mid-day. At that time, I am fatigued and can have tremors and cannot sit still for some reason. As it progresses to evening, the tremors subside and I am only fatigued. My friends are trying to convince me to go on anti-depressants, but they didn’t work well for me the first time and I don’t want to deal with the addiction problems with them. I’m also not sure if the insomnia is due to anxiety as I wasn’t really the nervous type before the insomnia hit. No panic attacks or anything like that. I just hope I can keep my job. I don’t know how you do it with young children.

Do you have any idea what caused your insomnia? I am convinced that my insomnia was cause by some surgery I had done last October since the insomnia started about three weeks after the surgery. In looking back, I wish I looked at the surgery more closely but hindsight is 20-20 and there is nothing I can do about it now. I will say this. I have seen some people on here put in their messages that they are considering suicide. I am nowhere near that point but understand where they are coming from. One thing that has happened to me since the surgery is that I have become way more religious and I pray a lot every night. Prayer has definitely helped me get through the day. I pray for me and I pray for everyone on this board that if we can’t be cured, at least help us get through the day.

How tired am I from this? I have to go for a sonogram tomorrow as they have discovered a mass growing in my abdomen and they need to find out what it is. At this point, it could be anything so I am not worried but I am betting at the least, I will need surgery. Who knows, since the lump appeared shortly after the insomnia started, maybe they are related. But if it is the worst and it turns out to be something malignant, I am not sure I have the energy to fight it. I really have no family to speak of and am divorced with no children so being as tired as I am, I probably will just let nature take it’s course. That’s tough for me to say after I just said I am more religious but I just don’t have the energy anymore. I, too, remember the days not too long ago when I could sit in a chair and easily fall asleep for an hour or two. And then get up to go to bed and have no problem falling or staying asleep. I long for those days.

 

Good luck to you and I will pray for you as I do everyone here.

[Edgar]

How to get through tje day… Coffee, though it doesn’t really help anymore, I think I’ve grown immune long ago.

Faking, of course, though again I doubt that I’ve convinced anybody that I’m chirpy, healthy and happy. I’ve been called depressed,gloomy and ill, when all really I am is tired.

I don’t have children either, Christine, and like Steve my hat’s off to you for managing motherhood as well.

Sorry to come off this pessimistic, but everything, EVERYTHING, really is more difficult for us than it is for regular sleepers. It’s like we’re living life on hard mode. The brakes in the car are fine, but we’re out of gas.

What you said about “quality of life” is spot-on. My wife and I, for instance, like to travel. I’ve been to Istanbul, Iceland, Greece,Italy, and I liked all those trips, of course, but always with half the energy, and always telling myself “this is nice, but I wish I wasn’t so tired.” So many potentially perfect vacations turning out “just OK”. And ask me anything about them a year later, I almost won’t remember a thing, like I haven’t even been there.

It’s just not physically possible, try as you might, to laugh whole-heartedly or enjoy something fully when you’re exhausted. Sleep is the foundation for all that.

Steve, man I hope everything turns out OK with you. I’m not a religious man myself, but my thoughts are with you. I have an MRI on Thursday for my MS, the first in 2 years, I hope they find nothing too rough in either of us.

[Steve]

Thanks Edgar. Nothing showed up on the sonogram this morning so probably the next step is a CT Scan after they get authorization from my insurance company. Hope you do well on your MRI scan.

[SIimon]

It’s hard and on my bad days I just want to hide from the world…… at it’s worst it has made me feel like life is not worth living……that said I always feel it is good if possible to get yourself out, be it going to the gym, socialising etc

Hiding away from things just give insomnia more power over you.

I’m married with two kids and my chronic insomnia of 15 years intensified last August. By October I was having 3-4 nights a week with zero sleep…this hit me hard and I really struggled to be dad and husband.

TBH I was more concerned about the impact on my kids (they knew something was wrong) than anything else and it got so bad by January this year that I ended up severely depressed about the whole situation and to cut a long story short I was hospitalised for 4 weeks.

Things have improved for me though in recent weeks and I am back to my normal 5-6 hours a night which I can manage on…. only one night in the last few weeks has been problem for me and I ended up taking a Zopiclone to stop me having an all nighter.

I’ve heard insomnia called a ‘living hell’ and at it worst in recent months is how it felt to me. The constant intense fatigue was truly horrible.

From my research the medial community seems to have given up on medication that might offer a long term fix when CBT-I fails for people.

Good luck to all out there that are dealing with this condition.

[Steve]

I know how you feel about the “living hell” part. I am so fatigued that even when I do get a “good” night’s sleep, which in in the 5 to 6 hour range, it only lasts me for about half the day and then I start getting the tremors again as well as the weakness in my limbs. Sometime it’s so hard just to lift my arms. I know you are supposed to get out of bed when you can’t sleep but I am just so comfortable IN bed that I don’t want to get out of it even if I can’t sleep. To me, that is my refuge from the world ad I look forward to getting into bed every night. I hardly ever think about last night’s bad sleep. To me, it’s always a new night to try and I try to think I am going to break this insomnia soon. Unless all of you are right in that this could be a medical condition caused by something biological. Or in my case, something that happened to me during that surgery.

Just out of curiosity, where is everybody from? I am just outside of Syracuse, New York.

[SIimon]

Wakefield in the UK…

[Edgar]

Croatia, football world cup semi-finalists. 🙂

Not much chance for a cup of coffee in the real world, huh? 🙂

Simon, good to hear you passed your first test. Fingers crossed for the CT-scan.

I also go to bed every night thinking this will be the night things “reset” and get back to normal. They haven’t so far, but there’s always the next night.

I hope there’s a physiological component, too, though in my heart of hearts I doubt it. I think we’re just mental. 🙂

Oh and so far as to how long I can hold on my 5-6 hrs before things go south – about 11 a.m. I like my mornings, I almost feel OK.

Well, good night for today…

[Christine]

Steve, good luck on your test results. Sorry you’re having to deal with that also. Thanks to everyone for replying to my inquiry.

To answer your question Steve, my insomnia started quietly a few years ago. Probably stress related. In the past, when I was stressed or depressed I would “sleep” it off. Sure miss those days!

I don’t like to get out of bed either! I’m usually to exhausted to think about reading or putting together a puzzle.

I believe insomnia is mental. I take an antidepressant and sleep meds. Off and on as needed. I believe sleep needs are different. I can function on a good 5-6 hours of “quality” sleep.

Many mornings, like today-I wake up from sleep unrefreshed. It’s a mystery. I scheduled a sleep study for next month. I don’t believe I have sleep apnea or anything other than insomnia caused by stress. Just wanting to cover all my bases.

I live in Tennessee.

[delv-x]

Hi Christine,

I so remember the times when I would be stressed and “sleep” it off just like you!. I would feel stressed, lay down, relax and sleep my worries away. Now it’s the opposite. If I get 6 hours of restful sleep I am usually ok. 6.5 is better. 7 is great. If on a very rare night I get 8 then I am actually more tired.

What I do to get through my day of exhaustion is to try to keep busy. At work, I try to talk and have conversations to pass the time more. After work I try to find activities outside of home (gym, visit friends, etc). It can be hard but often times not as hard as it seems when you wake up from a poor nights sleep.

I am in Canada

[SIimon]

Edgar, you are selling Croatia short there.. they beat my team England in the semi finals so were World Cup finalists 😉

Oh and its Steve who had the scan…..ill let you off though as insomnia does affect the memory 🙂

 

 

[Martin Reed]

I love the support and camaraderie in this discussion topic. Supportive discussions like this are the exact reason why I started this forum.

Christine: The fatigue is real! With that being said, it is often less noticeable to others than we think — so this could explain why you feel as though you’re faking it so nobody can notice whereas the reality might be that people aren’t noticing it because you are actually coping a bit better than you think.

There’s a phrase commonly associated with insomnia: wired but tired. This refers to the fact that although people with chronic insomnia are dealing with very high levels of fatigue, their body responds and compensates and somehow manages to get them through the day. In other words, we become wired enough to function and remain alert enough to survive and even remain relatively productive.

Fatigue is caused primarily by inactivity rather than a lack of sleep. For this reason, resting on the couch for the day actually makes fatigue worse rather than better. As mentioned by delv-x, the best strategy is usually to remain as active as possible. This helps reduce fatigue. Activity also helps build sleep drive and make sleep more likely.

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Steve]

For those of you interested, the CT Scan is scheduled for April 17th. Wish I didn’t have to wait that long but it is what it is.

[Edgar]

Simon, I know this thread is over now , but I’ve only just read it and I have to say “thanks”. Yes, we were finalists. I meant to say vice-champions or something like that.

But ,you got your revenge not long after, so we’re even. 🙂

Hope you’re sleeping well.

Eddy.

[Steve]

For those of you who may have been wondering, the CT Scan came back negative for anything. So, we are not sure why I have the pain in my side. Doctor now thinks it might be a rib muscle injury. I am inclined to think that if it was an injury, the insomnia is preventing me from getting a really good rest and letting it heal. For now, I guess I have to live with it as there is nothing more to do unless it gets worse.

[Author]

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