[erilsch]

I am a single parent of a one year old. My sleep in my sanity as I try to manage full time working and having a baby. One of the problems I have that escalates this already difficult scenario is having chronic insomnia. I am completely medically dependent. Because of the medication, I can fall asleep, but if the baby wakes up in the middle of the night- which she still commonly does- I can’t fall back asleep. So sometimes she wakes up at 1am, and then I am awake from 1am until the next night, and in that time, I have to take care of a child, go to a job that demands higher level thinking, etc. I feel like no one around me can relate to my complete desperation. I have struggled with insomnia for ten years prior to having a child, so I get that struggle. And anyone who is a single parent gets the struggle and frustration in that, especially when the wee ones are so small. But, now, my life is a struggle that is spiraling out of control. I know no one with this problem. I feel so alone. I am even more alone because I hate spending time with other parents who have two of them chasing after kids, or have their sleep despite being alone. My friends’ challenges seem like a walk in the park compared to what I am going through and I am tired of hearing about them. I don’t know where to turn to for help. Sleep restriction wouldn’t work for me as I don’t know when I’ll be woken up, so I need to go to bed as early as possible. I already have and understand decent sleep hygiene. I don’t know what to do or who to turn to.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, erilsch. I have actually worked with quite a few mothers with babies. It certainly makes things a bit more difficult, but it is still absolutely possible to improve your sleep without relying on sleeping pills.

Although we can’t prevent you from waking up when your baby wakes during the night (although there are some baby sleep management techniques you can try), you can still practice all the components of CBT-I — including sleep restriction and stimulus control.

One quick question — you mentioned that you go to bed as early as possible in a bid to get as much sleep as you can. Do you feel sleepy when you go to bed early? If not, you may be setting yourself up for a bad night. That’s because if you go to bed before you feel sleepy you will likely spend more time awake in bed and the more time you spend awake in bed, the more time you will probably spend worrying about sleep. This makes sleep more difficult.

Try to make sure you only go to bed when you feel sleepy and ready for sleep. When looking at the sleep restriction protocol, consider your nightly sleep duration averaged out over at least one week before determining what the best amount of time you allot for sleep should be. You can always add time onto this to accommodate the time it takes you to soothe your baby.

So, let’s say that averaged out over a week, you get five hours of sleep each night. And, averaged out over a week, your baby needs you for about half an hour during each night. In this case, I would suggest allotting six hours for sleep (the minimum five-and-a-half hours plus half an hour to attend to your baby).

You are capable of sleep without pills. You just need to train your mind to reassociate the bed with sleep so that when you wake during the night you can settle back to sleep. This takes a lot of practice and commitment.

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[erilsch]

Between chasing after my old year old and working a full time job, I am tired enough to go to bed at 5 when we get home, but I wait until 9:30. When  I go to bed that early and fall asleep relatively quickly, I feel I am capable of my work and I have more patience and love to give to my child. When I have gotten less sleep on meds because of a middle of the night wake up- I am falling apart at work and at home. I don’t feel like I can cut my hours right now and do any form of sleep restriction without sacrificing something important in my life. If I could have someone watch my child even for a few weeks while I did some of the initial difficult weeks of sleep restriction that would help, but that is not an option.

[Martin Reed]

Sleep restriction is an awful name. I don’t use it in my course because the term implies that it means less sleep. However, when implemented correctly, sleep restriction rarely leads to less time asleep! Instead, it reduces the amount of time spent in bed to more closely match the amount of time spent asleep.

The idea behind this is that by spending more time in bed asleep (rather than awake) you will learn to associate the bed with sleep rather than wakefulness. Over time, this makes the bed a strong trigger for sleep. In addition, by spending less time in bed awake, you will spend less time tossing and turning, feeling frustrated, and worrying about sleep — all of which make sleep more difficult.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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