[WhitneyB]

I have been struggling with falling asleep and sleep related anxiety for several months now and I keep coming across this idea of not trying to fall asleep but I don’t understand how to do that. How do you not try to do sleep when you are beyond exhausted and just want to sleep but it continues to elude you? This whole concept just eludes me. It seems like the more I eliminate trying to sleep, the more I can’t sleep. I hate getting up when I can’t sleep. I find myself worrying about the potential sleep I’m losing by getting up and end up limiting my time up to only 20-30 min before going back to bed to try again. When this happens 2-3 times a night, I find myself getting more and more anxious with each time I get up because I know it’s getting later and later and the amount of sleep I’ll be getting is quickly dwindling. I also worry about disturbing my husband with each time I get back up and leave the room. So please….anyone!…help me understand how to not try to sleep!!! I’m desperate here!

[Martin Reed]

Thanks for the great question, WhitneyB!

I think any time we do something with the goal of making sleep happen we are engaged in a sleep effort — an attempt to sleep.

With this in mind, can you think of any things that you might be doing in an attempt to make sleep happen, avoid nighttime wakefulness, or otherwise “protect” your sleep?

Perhaps you might be going to bed earlier than you otherwise would? Maybe you are staying in bed later in the morning, spending a lot of time researching sleep, modifying your plans in response to sleep, tossing and turning through the night in an attempt to make sleep happen? Perhaps you are engaged in a battle with your mind, trying to fight or avoid all the difficult thoughts and feelings that usually come with insomnia.

These are just a few examples!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[WhitneyB]

I definitely find myself fighting my thoughts and feelings about my insomnia and doing a lot of research about sleep. How can I stop the fighting and just accept my thoughts and feelings? What is the best way you feel helps give some space to these thoughts when I can’t fall asleep at night? Isn’t CBT all about challenging our inaccurate thoughts?

[Martin Reed]

We always have the choice over whether we fight! I think we set ourselves up for less of a battle and more of an approach of acceptance when we start by acknowledging everything we are thinking and feeling. Naming the thoughts and feelings. Noticing if (and where) we feel them in our body. Observing all of this, making space for it to exist, and allowing it to come and go as it pleases.

Traditional CBT-I does tend to encourage evaluating, challenging, and even trying to change our thoughts — but I think that can end up being quite distracting. We can end up tangled up in a struggle with our mind, trying to alter our thoughts when all that energy might be better used living the kind of life we want to live instead!

We are all different, though — there’s no one-site-fits-all approach, so I’d simply suggest exploring whichever option you feel would be most workable for you!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts