[vulkov]

Greetings, my fellow ex or current insomniacs,

I just turned 26, and I’ve had an Oura ring since 2020, so I’m fortunate enough to have all the data I need when it comes to sleep. (definitely not implying sleep stages are at all correct as compared to a sleep study, but the established baseline stats are helpful to track)

Ever since I first started tracking my sleep (2020), I never went to bed before 00:00. The lowest average for those two years and beyond is closer to 01:00. During the past two months, my sleep schedule has been very chaotic. I went to bed on average at about 04:00, sometimes even 08:00 or later, especially after the war in Ukraine started. The thing is that I almost always got enough sleep to function normally regardless of when I went to sleep (usually between 6 and 8-9 hours). I had minimal sleep hygiene – dimming the lights, using night filters on my devices and dimming them to the minimum after 22 but I would often forget and just stay on the PC until way later. Two days before my insomnia started, I slept for 10 hours, in fact, without waking even once.

On the 6th of March, after a day full of war footage consumption, I decided to go to bed earlier because I needed to get up early, and I NEEDED to fix my sleep schedule. I went to bed at around 2:41, and boom—the first night of complete insomnia. I got up after just 3 hours or so in bed.

Here is where it gets bad — my hypochondria activates. My thoughts were racing; why couldn’t I sleep? The only time I’ve ever experienced insomnia before was just before an exam. Even when I was incredibly stressed after losing family members and being cheated on after a 7-year relationship, I didn’t have issues with insomnia… Why? Could it be… FATAL INSOMNIA? Yes, some of you might be able to relate to this. I read about it a very long time ago, and it always stuck in my brain, waiting to unlock my anxiety. Irrational? Yes. Entirely possible in my brain? Absolutely.

What followed were the worst 5 days of my life. Despite all my knowledge on the circadian rhythm and sleep derived from listening to Mathew Walker, Andrew Huberman, Samer Hattar and others, purely out of curiosity, I decided that since I didn’t sleep on the 6th of March, I would go to bed at 23:00 on the 7th so I can catch up on sleep. I did everything right, I thought, looking at the sun in the morning and close to sunset. So I thought, but I had been going to bed in the early morning when the sun was already coming up for the last 2 months. Anyway, I fell asleep at around 4:30 and got up around 10:30. Every subsequent night was worse until I started feeling light-headed and that distinct feeling of almost passing out but not really while awake. I noticed my Oura ring reported high temperature over the night for the first week of me trying to go to bed at 11 cold turkey. If someone is more aware of that, your temperature minimum is about 2 hours before your average wakeup time for the last 3-5 days. Mine was completely different, so at one point, I recorded an almost 0.8C increase from my baseline, which is almost like I’m coming down with something. All of this just shows how wrong I approached changing my sleep pattern, along with ALL the anxiety from not being able to sleep and thinking I have fatal insomnia.

I tried taking baths, meditation, breathing exercises, apps, looking at the bright light in the morning, food, exercise, hacks and drugs. Suffice to say, most of those didn’t really work out that well. What finally worked was melatonin for like 1 night. I slept, got tons more deep sleep than usual, according to Oura, probably to compensate for all the nights of almost no sleep prior. Then it stopped working, and I went to the doctor. He prescribed pregabalin, an anti-anxiety medication. After a few nights, I managed to sleep again with pregabalin + melatonin and got tons of deep sleep. That worked for one night again. I also take magnesium bisglycinate, zinc picolinate and L-theanine, but those don’t work for me, according to the Oura ring and my subjective feeling.

My insomnia progressed from having issues with falling asleep to having constant wakeups (especially to go to the toilet) and having a hard time going back to sleep to a point where it feels like I don’t sleep because I wake up so often. I do, however, sleep somewhat because, during the day, I can function well and don’t have too much fatigue for the last few days. (compared to before when I felt like passing out every so often)

I’m still fighting the constant wakeups, and I believe I have associated my bed with struggling to sleep, so that might play a part. With pregabalin, I don’t feel anxious at all, so I’m not sure if my anxiety wakes me up all the time. I think my circadian rhythm got fixed, but I’m not so sure; at least my Oura doesn’t show temperature increases anymore.

Has anyone experienced a story like mine? What came first? My anxiety? My hypochondria? My circadian rhythm being out of whack? Any suggestions? Words of encouragement?

Thank you for taking the time to read for whoever did!

[Martin Reed]

Your insomnia doesn’t sound unique or unusual — it sounds like regular old insomnia! Ultimately, insomnia exists because of a strong desire to avoid nighttime wakefulness. This desire trains the brain to think of wakefulness as a threat or a danger — something we must be protected from.

How does the brain usually protect us? By generating difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and by activating the defense mechanisms commonly referred to as the “fight or flight” response.

Of course, this makes sleep really difficult! So, as human beings we look for a solution — however, this usually leads to endless research, experimentation, and rituals. All things that don’t help and all things that reinforce the brain’s belief that wakefulness is a threat that must be avoided.

So, the key to moving past insomnia is to train the brain that wakefulness isn’t a threat. Effective ways to do this involve focussing on what we can control — our actions. Our actions allow us to do things that keep us moving toward the kind of life we want to live each day, regardless of how we sleep. If we can continue to do that, perhaps the brain will no longer think that wakefulness is such a threat.

Finally, if it’s any help, Matthew Walker’s book has been debunked and really should be pulled off the shelves.

I hope there’s something helpful here.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[vulkov]

First, I would like to thank you for your reply. It must be exhausting to write the same thing over and over again. Your content on YouTube is absolute gold and has helped me decrease my anxiety about sleep.

Mathew Walker’s book being debunked is something I did read somewhere but never went deep into the literature. Thank you for the link!

EDIT: Wow! This link debunking Mathew Walkers’ book should be read by every insomniac struggling with sleep anxiety. Even FFI is covered, and this is the first time I read that sedation induced sleep has no evidence of prolonging the life of patients with FFI not to mention how rare that disease is.

I still struggle with waking up at night. I fall asleep quickly, at least. Now four weeks after insomnia started, I realise it was entirely me triggering those thoughts. It feels like this could have been the baseline sleep for ancient hunter-gatherers that could have been attacked at any time during the night. I will continue to consume the content you have provided for free (Newsletter & YouTube). Knowing that you’re just a few hundred dollars away from helping me personally is really comforting as well. Thank you!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by vulkov. Reason: Reading the link about debunking "Why We Sleep"

[Martin Reed]

I am so glad you found this helpful — thank you for sharing that!

It’s normal for your brain to trigger difficult thoughts; its number one job is to look out for you! Unfortunately, the human brain can’t tell the difference between a real threat (like a grizzly bear breaking into your bedroom) and a perceived threat (nighttime wakefulness).

So, sometimes we need to step in to train it that the perceived threat of nighttime wakefulness isn’t a threat at all. Sure, it can be unpleasant (but we can also do things that make being awake more pleasant) but it’s not a danger to us.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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