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It was suggested by a sleep specialist that I limit my time in bed to 7 hours. I wake up at 6:30, so that would be 11:30-6:30. However, my husband gets up at 4:30., and I always hear him and am up until about 5:30 at least when he leaves…then I catch a few more zzzs on a good day. He also gets disturbed when I climb in bed once he is asleep. From the time I was 7, I’ve always needed to watch TV in bed for a few minutes. I know that is a HUGE no-no, but I’ve now added amber glasses, and I know this isn’t my issue, because I’ve slept fine doing this for years. I’m really not sure on how to do this without forcing myself to wake up at 4:30, which I really don’t want to do 7 days a week!
This is quite a common concern and the answer comes down to what your long-term aims are. Imagine if you didn’t have a sleep problem — it’s likely your husband would still wake you at 4.30am. So, the decision comes down to whether you want to sleep separately from your husband for the long-term, or tolerate his early arisings for the long-term. Practicing sleep restriction shouldn’t have much influence on your decision in this respect.
Many people with insomnia worry about the effect of their sleeplessness on their bed partners. However, when asked, most bed partners will report very little disturbance and will be very encouraging when it comes to addressing the sleep problems with techniques such as sleep restriction and stimulus control. It is far better for a bed partner to deal with a few weeks of disruption during the implementation of CBT techniques than trying to sleep with a bed partner who tosses and turns all night, every night, with no end in sight!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I guess my issue is that regardless of whether I am having an insomnia issue or not, he always wakes me (guaranteed) for about an hour each morning around 4:30. When I am not having an insomnia period, I am normally able to fall asleep with him around 10pm, wake up for a few short bathroom breaks and with him at 4:30, then conk back out from around 5:30-6:30. However, when the insomnia is here, I can toss and turn to 11:30 on a great night and MUCH later on a bad night. I also wake more frequently, and it takes me WAY longer each time to fall back asleep. He gets awoken when I come in and put the TV on. Plus, he snores and has PLD, so if I’m not asleep before the snoring and twitching starts, forget about it. That extra pressure certainly isn’t helping.
So really, what I’m trying to figure out is I am averaging 5 hrs of sleep a night (very interrupted), but at this point, I think I would fall asleep much quicker if not for my husband’s snoring, and I would also sleep steadier if not for the snoring and his early wake time. Should I still use the 5 hours as my sleep time plus 1 hour? I’m also concerned that when I crawl into bed late and he is already fast asleep, his snoring will be in high gear,and it will be even harder to fall asleep, so would I add more time for those things? Any suggestions would be great.
Were you able to sleep through your husband’s snoring before your sleep troubles began? Your bed partner’s snoring is likely to disrupt your sleep regardless of any actions you take to improve your own sleep. Has your husband seen a doctor about his snoring? Improving that will likely be a big help when it comes to improving the quality of your sleep, as well as your husband’s.
If you average 5 hours of sleep, I would typically suggest allotting no more than 6 hours for sleep each night. You should also be getting out of bed when unable to sleep to help strengthen the link between your bed and sleep and weaken the link between your bed and wakefulness.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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