[reneegavin]

I’ve been batting around the idea of this program for awhile now.  However, here is my issue with the sleep restriction.  During a good period, I can have 5-6 hours of broken sleep.  In a bad period, it’s more like 2-4.  When I went to my sleep dr and she discussed starting sleep restriction, she said the first step for me would be to set a wake up or go to bed time and stick to it as a first step.  I am a natural night owl living in an early bird’s world, and have been fighting this all of my life.  In order to get up and happily be ready for work on time, I need to get out of bed around 6:30am.  You would then think my wake up time would be 6:30, and my bedtime would be about 12:30 according to my diary.  HOWEVER, my husband conks out around 9:30-10pm and snores horribly.  If I do not go to bed around the same time as himand fall asleep before he hits his deep sleep, forget it.  I cannot fall asleep with his snoring.  I used to be able to handle this, but since perimenopause, my sleep has become much lighter, and I can’t anymore. Then there is the fact that he wakes up anywhere between 4-4:45 for work.  He can go in early if he is up early.  He starts rootching before that, and once he is up, I hear him until his vehicle leaves the garage about 45min-1 hr later.  It doesn’t matter what room I am in.  I hear it and it then takes me another 30-60 min to fall back asleep.  This is a guarantee to take “sleep time away from me”.  I can’t see how I can possibly set a sleep or wake up time with this unless I sleep in another room and can fall asleep easier.  Or, I would go to bed with him (which I would kind of prefer), but then wake up at 4am!  That is insane, especially on weekends or holidays.  I know I would never stick with it on the weekends.  I don’t see how I could make this work for me at all.  I have to be able to function for work, so at least the “rest” and “deep relaxation” states that I get into help me feel more rested than if I were up a ton of times when I couldn’t fall asleep.

[Martin Reed]

When it comes to sleep/wake times, the time you get up in the morning should be the one time that stays absolutely consistent. That’s because, even after you have a sleep window with a set start time and end time, the start of your sleep window is the earliest time at which you can go to bed. So, if your sleep window starts but you don’t feel sleepy, it’s best not to go to sleep until you do feel sleepy. As a result, there may be some variation in when you go to bed.

In your case, since you want to be out of bed at 6.30am, you should count back from there. Of course, this then leads you to the issue you described with your husband making sleep difficult. Unfortunately, CBT-I cannot prevent sleep interruptions caused by your husband snoring!

Has your husband spoken to his doctor about his snoring? Have you tried earplugs or other strategies to minimize the noise that disrupts your sleep?

Finally, it’s important to note that rest and deep relaxation are not the same as sleep. When we stay in bed for longer than appropriate to get more rest and/or relaxation, we will almost always simply spend more time awake in bed. This creates an association (or strengthens the association) between the bed and wakefulness (rather than sleep) and gives us more opportunity to be awake in bed worrying about sleep and feeling frustrated about being unable to sleep. All these consequences disrupt sleep and override any potential benefits associated with staying in bed.

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[reneegavin]

Yes, he has had 6 unsuccessful surgeries for snoring/sleep apnea.  The last surgery actually caused the snoring to become worse.  I use earplugs and an air purifier, but he’s loud, and thanks to what I think are hormone fluctuations, my sleeping has become incredibly light.

[Lemcgrail]

I have been battling sleep issues for 18 months.  Sleep meds caused much more harm than good.  I’ve tried all sorts of strategies but the absolutely most effective one for me has been sleep restriction therapy.  I go to bed at 11:30 and get up at 5:30.  I too have issues with a husband that snores, but since starting SRT, I am able to go to sleep before he does and it works out.  (For some reason that I don’t understand, he only snores when he initially falls asleep but if he wakes in the night and falls back asleep, there is no snoring….).  I am fortunate to have a very supportive husband who has adjusted his sleep schedule to mine.  However, while I seem to be thriving on 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night, he is often sleepy in the early evening and naps while I cook supper.  This works for us.  I highly recommend that you and your husband try SRT.  Perhaps you could both compromise on a wake up time of 5 am.  In my younger days I would have been horrified at the thought of getting up at 5:30 EVERY DAY but now I embrace the early morning wakings and go walking in the early dawn.  My husband walks with me when he can, which has given us extra time to be together.

[reneegavin]

My husband has to get up by 4:30 for work.  He then can’t keep his eyes open past 10, sometimes more like 9.  He can sleep standing up though.  He has never had an issue napping or falling asleep on queue.

[reneegavin]

Actually,this doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.  If there is anyway he can sleep until 5 and still get to work, it might work.  He may be so tired if he waits until 10:30 to lay down in bed, that he might sleep right until 5 and not wake up early.  I am trying one other thing on my own first, but if that does not work, I might throw this idea out to him.  The only issue I see is the fact that he can and does stay up later on weekends and sleeps in a bit as well as naps during the day.  I still don’t know that I can drag myself out of bed at 5am if I stay up later on a weekend.

[Ginger]

I have suffered for 9 months now and sleep restriction is for me 10-4 my husband wakes at 4 also. I still pull all nighters 3 days a week . Cbtii therapist and all. I usually get out the house at 4:30 and just walk. It sucks. jope this will pass for me soon. I have gone broke on therapy and missing work

[Author]

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