[Kiki]

Hello everyone! I have Insomnia for 3 and a half years now. In it’s worst phase I couldn’t sleep for a month! I thought I’m going to die but nothing happened. Now I have acupuncture since April and I sleep 3 days then not for a week then I sleep 3 days and so on. In June I’ve slept 5 days and thought this is it but then I didn’t sleep again. I have very strange, as I call them ‘Thinkingdreams’. When I sleep it’s till 5 o’clock in the morning and then it fades into this Thinkingdream who starts intense and then it get’s drowsy and I’m almost awake and then it get’s further and I’m almost awake again but I can’t interrupt it. Sometimes when I don’t sleep I also get those annoying dreams in the middle of the night. I never thought I could have these very light dreams, never heard of them, and it’s hard to tell if I’ve slept when all in the morning I can think about is this dream I had. But I always think it’ couldn’t last the whole night so I must have slept before it started in the morning. Does somebody here also have these weird dreams? And I wish I would sleep every day, as I said I have 5 days where I don’t sleep and then most of the time 3 days sleep. These dreams are so light, like half sleep but my doctor says it has nothing to do with sleep – why can’t my sleep go deeper?! And I’m worried because over years and month I have not deep sleep, or very little of it. I don’t look like 51 anymore and my skin all over my body became very weird. And I’m afraid of dementia, which can develope of sleep disorders.

[Martin Reed]

That sounds really difficult, Kiki. I appreciate you sharing your experience with us.

It sounds as though your sleep is really inconsistent and that your experience tells you that even though you might think you are going to die when you’re caught up in the middle of this struggle, you still get through it — and sleep always happens in the end.

Difficult nights happen from time to time, just as difficult days happen from time to time. What can make them hard to shake off is trying to shake them off — in other words, the more we try to fight or avoid insomnia, the more oxygen we give insomnia. It’s a bit like a playground bully.

Your body will always generate — at the very least — the minimum amount of sleep it needs. That’s why you’re still with us today. And, there’s no evidence that chronic insomnia causes dementia or any other health problem for that matter.

Ultimately, the key to moving away from insomnia is to explore (and practice) ways of moving away from struggling with insomnia. You might find it helpful to dip into some episodes of the Insomnia Coach podcast — if nothing else, that might offer you some comfort that you are not alone.

I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best.

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Kiki]

Thank you Martin for your kind words! I haven’t slept for 7 days now (again!), waiting for my 3 days of sleep to come. Everyday I feel so sleepy but nothing happens at night and even if I sleep I still feel so tired. I saw a video of you on YouTube where you had this balloon theory. That you put all energy in the day to get a very full blown balloon which bursts into sleep. I will try to stay active the whole day. I walked every friday for 2 hours in the woods but even then I didn’t fall asleep at night. Maybe I should do some sports. I’ve received this ‘thinking email’ form you, not to think about insomnia all the time but that is exactly what I do. All I can think about is sleep. It’s hard to keep your focus on other things. I really appreciate your daily emails and thank you for wishing me all the best. I hope this horrible nightmare will end soon. Btw I’m from Germany, so please have mercy with my grammar. Keep up the good work, bye bye.

[Martin Reed]

Sleep drive is one part of the “requirement” for sleep to happen (in other words, we need to be awake for long enough). For the best conditions for sleep, there also needs to be a lack of effort to make sleep happen — a lack of attachment to sleep itself.

There’s a possibility that some sleep is happening over a seven day period — even though it can feel absolutely certain that no sleep whatsoever has happened — since our arousal system can’t usually suspend sleep for that long of a period without the balloon bursting!

It’s OK to think about sleep — your brain will think about whatever it chooses to think about. What matters is how you respond to those thoughts. Do you engage in a battle with them, trying to fight or avoid them? Are they controlling your actions in a way that is pulling you away from doing things that matter and from living the life you want to live?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Kiki]

Dear Martin, I really don’t sleep for days. What I have are these ‘thinking’ dreams. I lie in bed for two hours and then all of a sudden I dream, very light, almost like thinking and then it stops and then I lie awake for 4 hours and then again I start to dream directly and then I lie awake again. I don’t fall asleep! On the days I fall asleep, like lukily tonight, I roll around for half an hour then I sleep til the morning appr. 5’o clock and have a early morning ‘thinking’ dream. It doesn’t feel like sleeping but it can’t be that the ‘thinking’ dream goes on for the whole night. In the morning my eyes hurt and I have a bad taste in my mouth and I yawn the whole time like when I don’t sleep at all. I so hope that the ‘thinking’ dreams stop happening. And what is worse I don’t think I have deep sleep. I have glasses and when I take them off there are really big holes where they were, my whole skin became very soft and I can push it in and it stays there for a while, my feet are vibrating, it doesn’t matter what I eat I don’t reduce any weight, my sole of foot became very soft and the texture looks clumpy and when it started my feet were hurting very bad, I can move the blood around with my thumbs! My doctor said she didn’t see anything like this before! My knees hurt sometimes and now my arms are hurting, too. For me it’s clear that this is all the outcome of my not sleeping for days and not having deep sleep! I have insomnia since almost four years and in the second year I developed all these weird symptoms. I’m so afraid it gets worse. Back then I stopped having 3 or 4 hours of sleep every night to having these ‘thinking’ dreams! Have you ever heard of those ‘thinking’ dreams, Martin? I can’t find anything about it on the net. I know that I make two mistakes: In the morning I stay for too long in my bed. I go to bed at 10 and I get up at 10. I’ve tried several times to get up at 7 but I just can’t bring myself to do it. And I know that insomniacs should go to bed when sleepy but I feel sleepy the whole day! At New Year’s Eve I went to bed at 1 and didn’t fall asleep, only these ‘thinking’ dreams again. And yes, the whole day I think about sleep, I can’t think of anything else, it’s impossible! And what is worse I think about suicide and I also have tried to take my life four times! I even got in contact with a society for assisted suicide and they denied my request because there is still a chance of recovery. I think it will stay this way to 99 %, shall I be alive for 1%? I’m so over it, Martin.

[Kiki]

I don’t know what to do. I have only these ‘thinking’dreams’, no sleep whatsoever. Today I was at the dentist and he said my teeth are really worn out. I think it’s because I have no deep sleep. Help, I want this nightmare to end!

[Kiki]

Martin, please please help me. Does anyone at this forum has these light dreams that I’m talking about?

[Martin Reed]

It’s hard to know for sure what’s going on — really all dreams mean are that we are asleep (although we can daydream, too). Sometimes we remember our dreams, sometimes we don’t.

When it comes to sleep architecture, such as amounts of deep sleep, this is something the body takes care of by itself. It knows how much deep sleep to generate and it makes up for any lost deep sleep on later nights (not necessarily by creating more sleep but by modifying sleep architecture).

It’s like how the body regulates breathing by itself. Yes, we can make breathing more difficult and we can interrupt it by trying to control it — but, in the end, the body takes care of things and makes sure we get the number of breaths we need.

When it comes to sleep, all the difficulties and struggles often arise the more we try to intervene. The more we try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. The more we focus on sleep. The more power and influence it has over our lives the more difficult it becomes.

It sounds as though staying in bed later isn’t an action that’s working for you — so perhaps a change there might be worth exploring. As you said, it’s hard to get out of bed around the same time each day — and, from reading your posts, the alternative doesn’t sound easier.

When you think about sleep during the day (which is normal!) maybe you might allow those thoughts to happen, make space for them to exist, be kind to yourself, and then practice refocusing your attention on where you are, what you are doing, and what you could be doing in addition to thinking. Things that are aligned with your values, things that matter to you, things that will keep you moving toward the life you want to live even when this difficult stuff is present.

If you ever have thoughts of suicide please talk to someone immediately. I am not sure where you are in the world, but resources that will connect you to someone right away can be found here: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

I wish you all the best.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Lightsleeper84]

Hello Kiki I read most of your replies and story about what you’re going through and I’m experiencing the same thing 100%. I too practice sleep restriction to the point of getting like 2 hours a night and the next day I get a little rest during a 30 minute nap, also get exercise by doing long walks in the park and just try to stay active throughout the day yet my results are the same day after day and it seems my sleep never reaches a deep state, there’s only been a few times one was a trip to Niagara Falls months back where the second night at the hotel I never took melatonin and was up the whole night lying in bed and got up the next morning my brother drove us 3 hours to get home and after being home for an hour I began to feel sleepy and did a nap where I reached deep sleep for 5 minutes which was incredible.

Another time I had an important test to take and the night before I was so wired subconsciously that I never got a minute of sleep and canceled the test but the next day got deep sleep again, in these two examples it was me going without literal sleep for 30 hours that led to the deep sleep the following day, now this is the sort of thing that experts say not to do and that changing your thoughts and feelings around sleep is the key which I agree with but only partially because acceptance alone cannot provide deep sleep in my experience, I can only share what my experience has been and the times my arousal system has been overcome enough to get deep sleep has been in those very situations.

In those times of going over 24 hours without sleep I wasn’t voluntarily trying to stay awake and when I have tried to voluntarily stay awake to replicate those previous times it was extremely difficult. By 5 am I start having micro sleeps but still the few times I’ve done this manually I’ve gotten the same result of getting deep sleep during a nap, it’s really insane to think that is what it would take to reset the sleep system and not something I look forward to but I’ve been doing all the other sleep advice for insomnia for the last 3 years with minimal results. It seems that the CBT-I and this is just my opinion only works for people that have less extreme cases of insomnia and arousal again just my observation from going through this now for 4 years.

[Author]

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