[johndreadssleep]

Hi all,
My name is John and this is my first post on this forum. Actually, this is my first post in any sleep forum. It has gotten so bad for me, with about ten long years of non-restorative garbage sleep, that I need some help, advice, support, and guidance. I have tried so many things on my own with very little success. Conventional sleep doctors and sleep studies have been of no help. I do have some chronic medical issues which I will go into as time goes on which probably are contributing or even causing my sleep problems. I am 59 years old. Up to age 50 I slept relatively well, then at 50 I got chronically ill and along with it, chronic sleep problems. I am disabled, since age 35. I know a tremendous amount about sleep, I could probably write a book. Yet I still can’t ever get a decent night’s sleep, not a single night in the last 9 years. I am still trying different supplements( I am through with sleep prescriptions) and different methods to try and get my sleep back. I hope by coming to this forum I may gain some more help in trying to sleep better. It has and is definitely affecting my waking life, as well. I will go into that later. This is just an introduction. I can certainly see from some of the posts I have already read I am not alone.

[hiker]

John: it sounds like you are really going through the mill on this….I can’t claim to pronounce any miracle cure. I can say that I have also have been dealing with insomnia for many years, starting with severe childhood trauma—since resolved via therapy, but the insomnia had already moved in and didn’t feel like moving out.

I hear you about sleep studies and sleep docs. They are primarily centered on sleep apnea (which I have and treat with CPAP, but I’ve had non-apnea insomnia, too). Many physicians are medical engineers–good on the technical, not so much on empathy. And no one who hasn’t been through this really understands.

You refer to a disability and chronic medical issues. These I cannot address. I can only hope you can find a medical professional who is willing to listen. I have had better luck with women doctors, currently with one who is an ARNP, not M.D.—i.e. with the know-how, but not with the ego which some M.D.s live by.

Re sleep meds, it sounds like you have discovered there is no permanent fix. I found this true with supplements as well–melatonin, etc.

Getting down to it, I am wondering if your main stumbling block is the one I have struggled with as well—-attitude about sleep. You refer to “garbage sleep,” and your moniker tells me you are kind of wearing a badge of sleep anxiety. This is not a criticism, I hear you big time on this….I used to think of insomnia as an all-powerful monster, against whom I had no chance.

I wish I had learned about how to deal with thoughts and how to employ mindfulness. I did not realize for way too many years that I was supporting my anxiety by trying to think my way out of it, until finally the negative thoughts (the monster, etc.) came to predominate.

Fortunately, you have discovered you are not alone in this. Suggest get on Martin’s email list for starters. He had one earlier this month on how thoughts can lead to and perpetuate sleep anxiety.

Hang in there, I know it is a tough road. But I think you have made a good turn here in finding this website.

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