[chicca001]

Hi everyone, I am not new here, my issues with insomnia started in January when my son was 5 months old. I developed anxiety around sleep due to my son’s wakefulness and I started having some bad nights where I couldn’t fall asleep for hours, but the first months they usually happened once every 2/3 weeks so it was manageable.
Around June things started to get worse, my son’s sleep finally improved but I started to have more frequent difficult nights, and since June it’s been a constant up and down. I think about sleep most of the day but so far I was still able to enjoy everything and usually after a difficult night, an easier one would come, but lately this is not the case anymore.
I am seeing a therapist because of my underlying anxiety issues and she suggested a colleague with whom I started also CBT-I in October. I am not really satisfied with it because it seems like she is only giving me advices on the timings (my sleep window is 00/7) but not on the thoughts around sleep.
Also, I am not able to get out of bed when I can’t fall asleep, it gives me too anxiety.
Things actually improved in October and in November (I think I was going to bed too early before the CBT-I), but lately it’s been really hard again. I come from two nights of really poor sleep (and last week was the same) and I am so scared this will be my life from now on, I am scared every night will be bad from and that I won’t be able to enjoy my son, who is the most amazing kid and I love so much, and that I won’t be able to have a second child.

[Martin Reed]

How have you been getting on since you posted? As you implied, dealing with insomnia in a more workable way can often require more than the implementation or adjustment of a sleep window — that can be a really helpful start, though!

If you prefer to stay in bed when you are awake at night, I think it’s OK to do just that — especially if getting out of bed seems to make things even more difficult. What can be helpful is using those periods of wakefulness as opportunities to practice and build skill in experiencing wakefulness with a bit less struggle.

It sounds as though you are dealing with a lot of really difficult thoughts and feelings at the current time — and that’s often a big part of the insomnia struggle. It also sounds as though at least some of those thoughts and feelings contain important information — they are reminding you of how important your family is to you. How important it is for you to be there for your son.

Fortunately, those are all actions you can still do, even in the presence of insomnia and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. So, perhaps you don’t need to try fighting or avoiding those thoughts and feelings, especially if your experience is telling you that only creates more struggle?

I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best. You are not alone.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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