[Lozelise]

I’ve been struggling with chronic insomnia since July 2023. It’s been on and off with periods of recovery in between. But now I’ve never felt worse because I’m going through a break up and my anxiety is crippling. I’m taking sleeping pills much more often. I’m still sleeping poorly. I’ve been getting about 6 hours a night for 4 weeks, which may sound not too bad, but it’s manufactured sleep from sleeping pills, and also I think I must be in major sleep debt because I spend the whole day feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus. I’ve cancelled most social things because by evening time I’m literally barely able to stand, basically can’t leave the house at all because, and just feel completely hopeless. I just want hope this does and will get better.

[Scott]

Hi @Lozelise! I understand your desire to cancel social events because of insomnia. When I was dealing with insomnia, I often felt compelled to cancel plans because of fatigue, simply longing to rest on the couch. The urge to cancel your social plans and stay home for the night can feel irresistible. However, altering your life due to insomnia only emphasizes the problem and can cause you to put unnecessary pressure on yourself to sleep. Also, keep in mind, that removing things in your life that you enjoy to do, is considered sleep effort. Sleep is one of those strange things that doesn’t reward the hard work we put into it – the harder we try, the more elusive sleep can become!

Any significant life stressor, such as a break-up, can cause sleep to become difficult. Once that stressor is gone or we’ve adapted to it, sleep generally returns.

Do you remember what sleep was like before July 2023? When you were sleeping well before insomnia, do you remember placing undue pressure on yourself to sleep every night? I’m guessing you didn’t, it just occurred naturally. I wonder if you took that same approach now, if you’d have better results with your sleep.

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