[IvanAleisterMesniaa]

A lot has happened since my last time here I am deeply sorry for not being around.

My sleeping was bad and I didn't really know what to do about it.

I guess I shall have to fill you in on what has been going on since I love you all. <3

I got caught up with my pain managment for one. Jessica got me going on this pain site she goes on and I got a lot of help and tips from doctors(it's run by 2 doctors) and other chronic pain patients on ways to deal with my pain.

I had to have some check ups and do some research on my pain. I don't remember the name really but pain medication doesn't work on me properly. It either even at the lowest dosages works too much and I have bad attacks or it doesnt work at all or not enough, so finding proper medication is VERY hard.

Right now I am on a no treatment pain medication and on a pain scale of 50 my back is 30 and my leg from my damaged nerve is 30. The back is the worst because when that acts up I just can not move. If I rate it on say a scale of 1-10 on just one pain, if my back is at 7 I am not moving without a cane.

If 8 or above I cant move like at all.

I hate pain medication as well since a few times I nearly died on pain medcation that wasn't even too high for me.

My mother had some problems as well. Her medication for her schizophrenia caused her heart to beat irregularly and it already does normally. She had a reaction and her heart stopped for a minute and 12 seconds. Got her back though, we've been taking care of her ever since.

I was really stressed and really at my breaking point. Jessica was busy with exams and school and we barely got any time to talk etc.

Then I just snapped I guess. I have only ever cried I'd say less than 5 times in my life, and I would say that it would be 3 times.

I cried for the fourth time and let everything out and I slept. I slept again the next night, and the next, and the next, and so on for 2 weeks, got 7 hours a night.

Ever since I was 14 I have never had more than 3 every 2 days. 3 hours every 48 hours basically.

That went away and I got tied up with my brother being home and lots of family activities(which I didn't want to partake in) I love my brother sure, but I don't like him or how he treats women and takes advantage of my parents being so kind and loving.

Him and I got into an argument and he tried to punch me. I will admit that if I didn't have proper training from my uncle in 3 different forms of combat training my brother would of flattened me, he's a pretty big guy, haha.

My sleep cycle now has consisted of sleeping 2-3 hours a night or every 2 nights. I am also very stressed and busy arranging Jessica to come visit in December.

If she is allowed to, her crps might stop her. She might have to get treatment done and not be able to make the visit, so she might pay for my trip there since she's pretty rich.

Anyway all this plus the fact that I spent nearly 2 months without my cane struggling to walk. I can no bend my left leg. I haven't in a few years without it making me pass out due to the pain.

I pretty much forced myself to walk without one and now I only need one on really bad days. It still hurts to bend it but not as much, I can bare it now.

If I didn't do it my muscle was going to atrophy, so I guess it was worth it.

Sorry to be awol. I will do my best to continue posting.

[Martin Reed]

Hey Frank, it's good to see you back around the place and to hear that your pain is a little less intense.

I haven't been around for about a week, and I am really sorry about that – moving into a new house and getting the Internet set up takes longer than I thought! I feel like a real builder now having constructed a bed three tables, four chairs, a six drawer dresser and a couch over the past day.

I look forward to catching up with you and other Insomnia Land members!

—

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