[InsomniAmy]

Hello, insomniacs and those who love them. My name's Amy, I'm 42 (but still haven't quite accepted that in my head), and have had chronic insomnia for oh, around thirty years or so. Tried medications, OTC and prescription, as well as herbal remedies, tried exercise and even in a moment of desperation, meditation. NOT that I think meditation is bad for anyone else; it's just that if you knew me, you'd know exactly why it does not work on my brain.

By normal standards, I'm a bit anti-social, though I do spend time here and there online. If, somehow, you do end up being one of my close friends, I am insanely loyal and easily would give up my life or happiness for yours. That being said, I've lived in Texas for around fifteen years now and have only ever had one local friend, who, unfortunately, was considerably older than I, and I lost him earlier this year.

I am married, though (since 1997), and adore my husband. He's the nice one. I'm the tough one. We balance each other nicely most of the time. Sadly, he has catastrophic tinnitus and intractable headaches, and however hard I try, there is nothing I can really do about either one of those things. I'm constantly on the hunt for new technology and studies to help him. Until they come up with a cure for tinnitus (and they ARE trying, now that all these soldiers are coming home with it), he's permanently disabled. It does interfere with your thought processes, and until recently, also causes insomnia. I found something that helps with that, but as I'm new and don't want to appear to be pushing anything, just ask me about it if that happens to be your particular circumstance.

I'm atypical bipolar (no “highs”), have PTSD and severe depression. I try not to visit these on other people, but it does mean I tend to vanish for short periods of time every once in a while. I try to deal with it on my own and come back when I'm not so difficult to handle. Unfortunately, this means I can't really work, either. Not at any sort of traditional job. I'm simply not reliable. Even *I* don't know who I'm going to wake up as the next day. Yes, I'm medicated, but only barely, and I've run through every single antidepressant currently available in the U.S.. Yes, I've tried therapy (ten years), and I've gone through seven psychiatrists. How I ended up this way is a bit complicated, and though it might sound funny, given everything I've already told you, a bit too personal for a simple introductory post.

SO…if I haven't managed to scare you off yet, I'll be here. I tend to be a bit lurky, but I always respond to emails or direct questions. Believe it or not, I'm quite civil most of the time. My standard caveat with questions is: Don't ask unless you REALLY want to know the answer. I don't have much of an internal censor.

Is this a strange introduction, or what?

Amy

[jayinsf]

Hi Amy! Welcome! That wasn't such a “strange” introduction. One of the nice things about a board like this is that you meet people you'd otherwise never meet, and you get an idea of the types of issues others are struggling with. I sympathize with you on the loss of your friend; I and my partner have moved around a lot, and my circle of friends has dwindled over the years. I'm 53 and still can't believe it, and my two closest friends died in the last couple years. And my partner lost both his older brothers. I don't have PTSD but chronic low level depression; whether that causes or results from my insomnia (I can't sleep more than 6 hours max, usually less) is unclear.

Anyway welcome!

Jay

[Caers]

Nah, not a strange introduction at all! Hi, and welcome! It's always good to know about the person you're interacting with, so you (and I mean me by this) don't stick your foot in it 😀

I'm always interested to meet people who have such a long history of insomnia. It's so very different, dealing with it for most of your life, as opposed to only sometimes, or for a few months at a time (not that I am discounting how awful that can be, only that to live with it day in and day out is a different kettle altogether).

I love people with no internal censor! I have the same view on life: If you ask, I'll tell you. If you don't want to know, don't ask. Hope to see you around!

[MarinaFournier]

'InsomniAmy' wrote on '28:

Tried medications, OTC and prescription, as well as herbal remedies, tried exercise and even in a moment of desperation, meditation. NOT that I think meditation is bad for anyone else; it's just that if you knew me, you'd know exactly why it does not work on my brain.

Many of us have failed to get any relief from any of those, as well.

Quote:

Sadly, he has catastrophic tinnitus and intractable headaches, and however hard I try, there is nothing I can really do about either one of those things. I'm constantly on the hunt for new technology and studies to help him. Until they come up with a cure for tinnitus (and they ARE trying, now that all these soldiers are coming home with it), he's permanently disabled. It does interfere with your thought processes, and until recently, also causes insomnia.

Gah! Anyone would be permanently disabled with either one of those, and each interferes with thought, cognition, and executive functions.

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I'm atypical bipolar (no “highs”), have PTSD and severe depression.

Yeah, that no highs stinks. Gee, you get these awful, deep, intense, long depressions, and no relief whatsoever. My hypomanias, since my dx ten years ago, have been mild, short, and easily dispersed, as in, once I figure out I'm in one, because every perception is more intense (usually along the lines of colors being more intense, or finding more than the usual beauty in nature), it's over, in a few hours or less. Grrrr. I'm bipolar II by some lights, and bipolar NOS or merely cyclothymic by others, but they're treated the same way…

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Yes, I'm medicated, but only barely, and I've run through every single antidepressant currently available in the U.S.. Yes, I've tried therapy (ten years), and I've gone through seven psychiatrists. How I ended up this way is a bit complicated, and though it might sound funny, given everything I've already told you, a bit too personal for a simple introductory post.

My son and I are both motivated to be on and diligently take our meds due to our primary presenting symptom being deep depression. We're both on anti-depressants as well as mood stabilizers. Were you ever given a mood stabilizer, witho or without an AD at the same time?

Have you ever tried/found/have suggested to you a non-invasive method of dealing with treatment-resistant depression called rTMS (repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation)? In 2000-1, I participated in a dosage study at Stanford U. Med. School, dept of Psychiatry. It wasn't painful, and while originally the protocols called for being on no psych meds, I had just quit a bad-side-effect alleged anti-depressant, and I still had a bit of it in my system in the first run, and boy, did I get relief. That was before being dx'd bipolar. In the next phase, I no longer had any residue of any meds, and after the dx, fell into a stronger depression (than my usual low-level depression) within days. I told the study lead I was going to fall out of the protocols because of it, and he decided that treating me for the depression with medication overrode the needs of the protocols, and started me on Effexor XR, which I am still on. Once it got in my system, the rTMS began to help again. YMMV.

Now TMS centers can be found all over. I have no idea of the cost or insurance coverage. What happens is you sit down in an ordinary chair, in an ordinary office, in whatever you wear that day. The tech/doc finds your “sweet spot” on your scalp, and that's where the instrument with the magnet is placed. In the study, we got a tap a second for three minutes, and minute or two break, and then two more minutes of it. It's not a hard tap, I don't think any of us felt pain, and you shouldn't get a headache from it.

I'm sorry you've had to go through so many psychiatrists. I've only had to fire two, and then the study docs at Stanford were delights. That's when I discovered I didn't have to put up with the attitudes of the first two. I'm still with the one I started with after the study, because we work well together.

So now that you've made your introductory post, feel free to deliver what is for mainstream folks, TMI. It's probably nothing we haven't encountered before.

Quote:

My standard caveat with questions is: Don't ask unless you REALLY want to know the answer. I don't have much of an internal censor.

I actually seldom ask just to be polite. If I ask how you're doing, I really do want to know what's life been like for you since last we met–and I'm still working on an internal censor at 57.

Quote:

Is this a strange introduction, or what?

You say that as if strange were a bad thing…glad to meet you!

[Martin Reed]

Welcome aboard, Amy – certainly not a strange introduction; by definition we're all a little bit different here at Insomnia Land!!

Did your insomnia begin at the same time as your depression? Do you see any link between the two?

—

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[InsomniAmy]

'Martin' wrote on '31:

Welcome aboard, Amy – certainly not a strange introduction; by definition we're all a little bit different here at Insomnia Land!!

Did your insomnia begin at the same time as your depression? Do you see any link between the two?

Thank you, Martin, and really, everyone who has welcomed me.

I've had insomnia since my pre-teens.

I didn't have severe depression until my late twenties, when a family doctor gave me really bad advice regarding Paxil. I was on it for a case of mild anxiety, as I had moved away from everything I ever knew and ended up down in Texas, which is like an alien planet to me. I gained weight, didn't like it, and asked if I could try something else. He had me go cold turkey, which, if there are any other long-term Paxil users out there who have EVER gone off it know, causes all kinds of hideous problems. Whatever it did to me, I never really recovered. I lost about six months there that I only remember through other people's recollections. I have tried, seriously, all sorts of mood-altering/stabilizing medications–name it; I've tried it. Lithium was probably the worst–I have no memory of my year on Lithium, and according to everyone who knows me, I simply was not there. The most irritating thing about the depression is that it has made me weaker. I used to be very independent and fly all over the country, meeting strangers and striking up conversations without fear. Now, I hide. I'm borderline agoraphobic at this point, though I know that I can work myself out of it if I can get up the minerals to do it.

My biggest problem is that I'm a great caretaker for terminal patients, such as my grandmother and my in-laws, but when they die, I absolutely lose my mind. I can't pull myself out of it, and frequently end up physically hurting myself in order to feel something other than mental pain. I'm GOOD at being strong for other people (when I'm WITH other people), but I invariably take out all the stress on myself. And if I lose them, even when I know there was absolutely nothing I could have done, I feel responsible. My emotional side and rational side are constantly at war, and it's been that way my whole life.

The memories of all these things, along with my long-standing internal monologue of self-loathing, are what keep me up all night. My mind never shuts down, and it is rarely kind to me. Even when I sleep, I have terrible nightmares most of the time, and therefore, no rest. It's sort of funny…sometimes I wish I weren't as bright as I am (yeah, that sounds obnoxious, but hey, allow me ONE nice thing about myself), or as much of a realist as I am. I do not have a religious or spiritual side, and trust me, there's no comfort in being that way (but that IS the only way I can be). I'm not a nihilist…not quite. There is something in me that wishes for good and even some sort of purpose in the world, but sometimes, it's so hard to find. I absolutely treasure kindness and selflessness in other people. I think people who are open with their emotions are brave–much braver than I am. Those are the people I try to protect from a world that I have found, largely, that is cruel to those it sees as weak, that takes advantage of people who leave an opening, and destroys anything that is really beautiful–but different.

Hm. Can you tell it hasn't been a good day?

People like you, who have welcomed me, warts and all, do give me hope. I'm trying really hard to focus on people like you.

Thank you, again, for your kindness.

Amy

[Birdlike]

'InsomniAmy' wrote on '28:

even in a moment of desperation, meditation.

Ditto 😀 For me, THAT was the big sign I was desperate!

Sorry, I don't know how to do that fancy thingy where you put more than one quotation in a reply!

Yes, I'm medicated, but only barely, and I've run through every single antidepressant currently available in the U.S.. Yes, I've tried therapy (ten years), and I've gone through seven psychiatrists.

Same on the antidepressant front (though I'm definitely verrry medicated heh.), and similar rolodex of psychs. Actually my last one just left, so I'm currently psych-shopping. Again. That psych was brilliant, though, and wouldn't give up; he was trying a hundred and one off-label meds – for the MDD, I mean. The closest thing to a solution we found was dexedrine (the uberstimulant), taken constantly throughout the day …which obviously isn't quite an ideal solution 🙄 , but keeps me from being suicidal and OD-ing every few days, unlike all the normal antidepressants I've tried thusfar.

[InsomniAmy]

'Birdlike' wrote on '04:

Ditto 😀 For me, THAT was the big sign I was desperate!

Sorry, I don't know how to do that fancy thingy where you put more than one quotation in a reply!

Yes, I'm medicated, but only barely, and I've run through every single antidepressant currently available in the U.S.. Yes, I've tried therapy (ten years), and I've gone through seven psychiatrists.

Same on the antidepressant front (though I'm definitely verrry medicated heh.), and similar rolodex of psychs. Actually my last one just left, so I'm currently psych-shopping. Again. That psych was brilliant, though, and wouldn't give up; he was trying a hundred and one off-label meds – for the MDD, I mean. The closest thing to a solution we found was dexedrine (the uberstimulant), taken constantly throughout the day …which obviously isn't quite an ideal solution 🙄 , but keeps me from being suicidal and OD-ing every few days, unlike all the normal antidepressants I've tried thusfar.

Heh. I just LIKE you. The reason meditation is not for me is that never, in my ENTIRE life, have I ever fully relaxed. My mind is far too busy, and will not calm down with coaxing, and gets downright unreasonable when someone tries to force it to do so. I've got perma-tension in my shoulders, and my mind, whenever they're trying to talk me into a calmer state of being, starts snarling “this is a big waste of time.” Seriously, look at my first baby picture–I look pissed off. I was a very happy kid until I hit formalized education (which is when they start hammering down the nails that stand out, at least in MY schools), quite bright and highly social. I became more and more of a problem for them (largely out of boredom with the curriculum and recognition of a system that did NOT understand/couldn't address individual needs), probably capping it off with being a largeish part of a major school walkout/protest march on my 15th birthday, after they started cutting into the few “rights” students had left. That was a really fun birthday, quite honestly, and my parents did not go crazy (at me) over it, though I (and many others) made front-page news on the paper that day. I've always been so lucky to have such understanding and supportive parents. I do think that's why I've made it as far as I have.

The meds I take now are Prozac, Buspar, Tylenol 4 (I've got tension headaches most of the time) and an unreasonable amount of Xanax. I cut back to basics, so to speak, after trying everything else, and these seem to do as well as any and better than most. I realize the cutting thing isn't acceptable, and I try to keep from doing it as long as possible, not so much for myself as I do to spare the people who love me further distress. My scars do not bother me, but they bother those around me, so I've got these kinda cool fingerless glove sleeve-type things in a rainbow of colors that I wear to hide most of the damage when I'm around anyone but my husband. I'm GENERALLY not suicidal; the cutting is NOT a “suicidal gesture,” though that led to a parting of the ways between me and my first psychiatrist, who insisted that I be institutionalized, and I refused. I do not do well at ALL when I'm away from familiar things.

I don't think dexys would be all that good for me either, though, as I do have panic attacks. It'd be nice to have the spare energy, that's for sure, but overall (and based on my mom's recounting of her dexedrine days when they were readily available as diet drugs), they do not sound right for me. I am quite glad they're helping you, though of course I agree that it doesn't sound like the best solution. 🙂 Hope to see you more around the boards…I am trying to keep up here as best as I can.

[MarinaFournier]

'InsomniAmy' wrote on '01:

I didn't have severe depression until my late twenties, when a family doctor gave me really bad advice regarding Paxil. (big snip) He had me go cold turkey, which, if there are any other long-term Paxil users out there who have EVER gone off it know, causes all kinds of hideous problems. (big snip) The most irritating thing about the depression is that it has made me weaker. I used to be very independent and fly all over the country, meeting strangers and striking up conversations without fear. Now, I hide. I'm borderline agoraphobic at this point, though I know that I can work myself out of it if I can get up the minerals to do it.

I ended up going cold turkey off Wellbutrin, AND being across the country with no psych coverage available to me there. I was just wonderful to be around. That was the first pdoc I never went back to.

Quote:

My biggest problem is that I'm a great caretaker for terminal patients, such as my grandmother and my in-laws, but when they die, I absolutely lose my mind. I can't pull myself out of it, and frequently end up physically hurting myself in order to feel something other than mental pain. I'm GOOD at being strong for other people (when I'm WITH other people), but I invariably take out all the stress on myself. And if I lose them, even when I know there was absolutely nothing I could have done, I feel responsible. My emotional side and rational side are constantly at war, and it's been that way my whole life.

When my sister finally put our mother in a nursing home, she gained a lot of her life back. She visited every Friday after work, and sometimes in between. When Mama died about this time in 2004, she foundered a bit, because her routine of so many years was broken, and she was rather at a loss of what to do about it. This was 10 years after a severe stroke, and the personality that was our mother had died shortly after the stroke. There was more relief than grief when the body died.

About five years into the at-home caretaking, it was a strong possibility that my sister would predecease our mother–her health was run down, her back was always in pain, she had problems with one shoulder joint…and when something catastrophic happened while my sister was in hospital/recovering at home from major abdominal surgery, something snapped, and she began searcihing for a nursing home.

I also am good for being there for others, and seldom see that returned, although when I was recovering in the first quarter of this year from having a bone spur removed from my heel, my MiL was very good to me, taking care of what I needed, but I was likewise doing my best not to be a bother. I knew a woman who'd had a more extensive, but similar, surgery than I had had, with a longer time to be off her feet, with foot elevated, and she got cranky and demanding, and I did my best not to emulate her.

Now it's my husband who pounds himself for a misplaced sense of responsibility when a project of his gets cancelled, in spite of all his work to make it a success–and often because of someone up the chain who is crap for managing projects, or their product's pricing, well. He feels that he's let down all the folk who work for him, and it's the only time, other than on an airplane, where I've seen him pour out more than he usually drinks, and drinks it quickly, to numb himself.

You just happen to have all three issues, and aren't getting the help you need–through the incompetence of others, it seems.

What sort of minerals do you use/need to allow yourself to handle the outside world?

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My mind never shuts down, and it is rarely kind to me.

When my mind doesn't shut down, my IBSC (ittybittyshittycommittee) is whispering nastiness to me, when the depression is at a certain level or below. Shutting my mind off was the primary trigger I had for insomnia; not being able to breathe well (allergies, colds, bronchitis) is next, and third is any physical discomfort or restless leg. I'm allergic to codeine and vicodin, which means there is no strong cough medicine for me. If I want to knock myself out, it takes at least 8 oz of whisky–and I'm not using my good stuff for that.

Quote:

It's sort of funny…sometimes I wish I weren't as bright as I am (yeah, that sounds obnoxious, but hey, allow me ONE nice thing about myself), or as much of a realist as I am. (snip) I absolutely treasure kindness and selflessness in other people. I think people who are open with their emotions are brave–much braver than I am. Those are the people I try to protect from a world that I have found, largely, that is cruel to those it sees as weak, that takes advantage of people who leave an opening, and destroys anything that is really beautiful–but different.

You describe my son in the last sentence. He's bright, but not necessarily socially–rather like an autist who just doesn't get social cues. He had meltdowns, and was easily provoked into them, until somewhere it middle-school, when things began to turn, and he was able to use his wit as a weapon against bullies. Sarcasm, saying something they didn't understand, or which confused them–they pretty much stopped trying to provoke him, since he wasn't reacting the way they wanted him to. These days, he mostly throws their words back at them, or gives as good as he gets.

Neither of us is good at making a shell of blandness around us. Our counselor appreciates the fact that I'm clear on what my emotions are and can access them–but I'd like a better shield/shell/control of my face so that when I don't want to be open, I won't be. A is generous, sweet, bright, and sometimes dense and stubborn.

What's odd to me is that I can be in the midst of a nadir of depression, but someone needs something, and the depression gets out of my way for a bit.

[/quote] People like you, who have welcomed me, warts and all, do give me hope. I'm trying really hard to focus on people like you.

Thank you, again, for your kindness. [/quote]

We're here because the other folks are like us in one strong way we haven't found outside this forum. Warts are only bad when they're malicious warts.

[MarinaFournier]

'InsomniAmy' wrote on '04:

The reason meditation is not for me is that never, in my ENTIRE life, have I ever fully relaxed. My mind is far too busy, and will not calm down with coaxing, and gets downright unreasonable when someone tries to force it to do so. I've got perma-tension in my shoulders, and my mind, whenever they're trying to talk me into a calmer state of being, starts snarling “this is a big waste of time.”

I was a subject in someone's Masters in psych in the mid-70s. This was using alpha wave biofeedback to teach you to relax. My problem was, if I'm supposed to tense up, then relax down to baseline–which for me was already tense–how was I supposed to truly relax? No useful answer. I could do progressive muscle relaxation, but once I got above the neck, blammo, no further, and then something would twitch and take me right out of what relaxed state I'd been able to achieve. Drove me nuts.

For many of us here, stress or muscular tension is not the issue we're fighting, but we keep getting stress-relief mechanisms thrown at us in a one-size-fits-all gesture. Grrr. Have you ever been given a good massage in the shoulders to top of head? I need that every so often, but my feet want it every day, as I seem to carry tension there.

This is not to imply that you haven't already tried these methods and found them wanting or a waste of time. There is an article I read in the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/health/23lives.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&hp about a black female executive and how she deals with her schizophrenia (NOT implying that you have it, but there are parallels that might be useful to consider, if you can find such a position where you work primarily at home, given the agrophobia).

No more so, perhaps, than for Ms. Myrick, who after years of devastating mental trials learned that she needed a high-profile position, not a low-key one, to face down her spells of paranoia and despair. Her treatment regimen, like most others’ in the study, is a combination of medication as needed and personal supports, including an intuitive pet dog, the occasional weekend stay at a luxury hotel – and, not least, a strong alliance with a local psychiatrist.

“I feel my brain is damaged; I don’t know any other way to say it,” Ms. Myrick said. “I don’t know if it’s from the illness, the medications, all those side effects or what. I only know that I do need certain things in my life, and for a long time – well, I had to get to know myself first.”

Quote:

I'm GENERALLY not suicidal; the cutting is NOT a “suicidal gesture,” though that led to a parting of the ways between me and my first psychiatrist, who insisted that I be institutionalized, and I refused. I do not do well at ALL when I'm away from familiar things.

I know cutters, and it is NOT tied to suicidal thoughts at all, but it's a way of trying to get the emotional pain out, from what I understand. I've been to visit two people in locked wards, and I'm pretty sure I would only get worse if I were sent to one. No real privacy, doing things on someone else's regimented schedule–no, no, get it away from me! Being cut off from my online world is like condemning me to solitary confinement. I calm better at a plant nursery or large garden public garden, outside with beauty and nature.

[InsomniAmy]

'MarinaFournier' wrote on '06:

I ended up going cold turkey off Wellbutrin, AND being across the country with no psych coverage available to me there. I was just wonderful to be around. That was the first pdoc I never went back to.

Funny, Wellbutrin was the med he intended to switch me to, and that ended up doing me no good at all. I might as well have eaten M&Ms. I certainly would've enjoyed them more, and they're cheaper, too! 😆

Quote:

I also am good for being there for others, and seldom see that returned, although when I was recovering in the first quarter of this year from having a bone spur removed from my heel, my MiL was very good to me, taking care of what I needed, but I was likewise doing my best not to be a bother. I knew a woman who'd had a more extensive, but similar, surgery than I had had, with a longer time to be off her feet, with foot elevated, and she got cranky and demanding, and I did my best not to emulate her.

I'm quite lucky to have a husband who tries his best to take care of me, though, to be honest, we have to take turns. He is an absolutely WRETCHED patient, who resents being unable to help himself and suffers serious guilt about asking me for anything, despite my insistence that it doesn't bother me at all (which it doesn't!).

Quote:

What sort of minerals do you use/need to allow yourself to handle the outside world?

Heh–that was my semi-polite way of saying I need to suck it up and deal with it. It's a baby steps process (shades of “What About Bob?”), but with an immense effort, I CAN get myself back into the world, though the boundaries of “my world” are much much smaller than they used to be.

I've never been a drinker, but I do have the codeine/xanax combo that simultaneously calms me down a bit and knocks my headache back to a two from an eight. These are classic tension headaches, and I KNOW codeine isn't the right answer, but if I could find other relaxation techniques (or simply a less stressful life…maybe a lobotomy), I'm hoping I won't have them anymore. But I've had them to some degree for decades.

Sent you a PM about the rest, but thank you for your responses. 🙂

[Birdlike]

So, ummm, would you mind very much if I messaged you? I wrote a reply just now and yikes, thank every deity out there that I read it over because it was long enough that Tolstoy would have felt embarrassed for me 😕 It occurs to me that humiliating myself in front of one person (you) might be preferable to doing so in front of a bunch of them (you + others).

I'd even send you the abridged version, if you wanted…

[InsomniAmy]

'Birdlike' wrote on '06:

So, ummm, would you mind very much if I messaged you? I wrote a reply just now and yikes, thank every deity out there that I read it over because it was long enough that Tolstoy would have felt embarrassed for me 😕 It occurs to me that humiliating myself in front of one person (you) might be preferable to doing so in front of a bunch of them (you + others).

I'd even send you the abridged version, if you wanted…

I wouldn't mind it at all, and I hate abridged versions. 🙂

Don't worry. You can't possibly embarrass yourself in front of me. I am the Queen of Inappropriate Comments. Just ask my family. 😆

[MarinaFournier]

'InsomniAmy' wrote on '06:

Funny, Wellbutrin was the med he intended to switch me to, and that ended up doing me no good at all. I might as well have eaten M&Ms. I certainly would've enjoyed them more, and they're cheaper, too! 😆

Wellbutrin had me simmering with anger. Once I realized that it had no outside cause, I realized it whas the medication, which wasn't doing anything for the depression, either. The (first of my two) idiot pdoc decided I was just too chatty, and neither gave me a stepdown strategy nor a different med. I was not amused.

Tylenol and Aleve do nothing for me, and M&Ms have more effect than they do! Of course, if you're in hospital, tylenol is all they'll give you, so when offered, I've refused it.

Quote:

I've never been a drinker, but I do have the codeine/xanax combo that simultaneously calms me down a bit and knocks my headache back to a two from an eight. These are classic tension headaches, and I KNOW codeine isn't the right answer, but if I could find other relaxation techniques (or simply a less stressful life…maybe a lobotomy), I'm hoping I won't have them anymore. But I've had them to some degree for decades.

The pediatrician AND the former pdoc for my son denied ability to handle migraine meds in the face of what the other doc was doing, and therefore sent us to a ped. neurologist–perhaps you might try one for adults? I'm thinking of seeing one for the restless leg issue.

Lobotomies are over-rated for headache relief! I have sometimes wanted a lobotomy when the depression was too strong and deep for me to handle well. I just wanted out of the despairing pain/painful despair.

[Martin Reed]

'Birdlike' wrote on '06:

So, ummm, would you mind very much if I messaged you? I wrote a reply just now and yikes, thank every deity out there that I read it over because it was long enough that Tolstoy would have felt embarrassed for me 😕 It occurs to me that humiliating myself in front of one person (you) might be preferable to doing so in front of a bunch of them (you + others).

I'd even send you the abridged version, if you wanted…

Nothing wrong with that! Like Amy said, we love the in-depth stuff here at Insomnia Land. It tends to be more useful and valuable for others, too.

Further, I think it's actually impossible to humiliate yourself here at Insomnia Land. Many have tried, all have failed!! 😉

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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