[Coli85]

Hello

My name is Colibri and I could really use some advice. At the end of July I started having panic attacks every day. Now painc attacks aren’t new to me, however, the duration, intensity, and frequency of these panic attacks were new to me. I decided to take medical leave from work to get myself together. However, the panic attacks just kept coming, and left my body in a constant state of weakness, and all around feeling unwell, I also started having issues with my gut with this new form of panic/anxiety. Another thing that started and is still coming and is very intense, is severe sleep disturbances. I hardly sleep, and when I do sleep, It does not feel like I was sleeping, but I know I was because I’m also having intense vivid dreams, or a family member will tell me that I was sleeping because I was snoring a little. At times I feel like I start dreaming before even sleeping because I have little visions before I go into a full dream (sorry it’s hard to explain) I know I’m not getting hardly any deep and REM sleep because my Pixel watch records my sleep, although as of late it does not really, because I’m constantly waking up. I’m scared and don’t know why this is happening to me, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve been offered SSRIs and Xanax, however, I’m scared to take either. I feel mentally unwell, as if I’m going to lose touch with reality, I’ve been bedridden mostly since July, my body is VERY heavy when I get out and I just feel completely non-human and scared that I will never get better. I also sometimes wake up severely depressed and out of it, I have to repeatedly say my name, my daughter name, my parents name, and all of my siblings name over and over to myself, so that I know I’m not crazy. I’m severely sleep deprived, my job extended my leave only until the 5th of November, I can’t lose my job. However, I feel mentally and physically incapable of working. However, if I could get some sleep, I think I will start getting better. As night time come my body starts twitching and tensing up, I can’t relax, and I have no ideal how to help myself. I’m on the internet all day trying to find ways to help myself, however, I can’t even find people who can relate to what I’m going through, which makes it worse because I feel so all alone. I’m terrified that I will never sleep again, I’m scared that something is medically wrong with me, although I’ve had many test. If anyone can relate, or have any advice, please reach out. I just want my life back and to feel human again.

-Colibri

[Robb]

Hi,
I can relate and you are not alone, I have been going through a lot of what you just described. Not sleeping, this is my 3rd day with zero sleep, and it can really get to you. I had it before back in 2022 but my b12 was very low and after I got that resolved, I was able to sleep again. I was and I am again in the same space as you, will I get my life back. I feel tired but once I lay in bed, I am wide awake, but I feel like I just want to sleep. I now think of the bed as I won’t sleep and last night I was like, ok if I don’t sleep then that’s ok and I didn’t. The first time it happened, I was like you and there had to be something wrong, I looked all over and yes you can find something that you fit into, if you look hard enough. I think a lot of what you feeling is brought on by the lack of sleep, so easy to go into that rabbit hole, I am there again. I had my b12 checked and it’s fine, so now what could it be, it does not help that everyone else is sleeping fine. I just had to have a few days in a row to get that ball rolling, and now I am right back at it. You are not alone in this

[Coli85]

Robb

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time as well. I find myself fantasizing about the good old days when I slept like a baby, and woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the day. Today I picked up 2 prescriptions, one for Zoloft and one for Klonopin, however, I don’t want to take either of them. I’m not into medications, I also have a bottle of Xanax that I never touched, why can’t our bodies naturally do what it needs to do in order to help us function?. It’s so frustrating being consumed with this ALL DAY EVERYDAY. I hope you were able to find some rest since posting this reply, please keep in contact and give updates when you’re able to, I will do the same.

-Colibri

[Robb]

Hi Colibri,
I was able to get some sleep last night, first time since last week (win). Was it the best, no but it was rest. I think you and I are the same, you said being consumed, last night I didn’t search how to fix me, I also have a prescription for Klonopin, I break it in 1/4. In case I get all worked up about sleep or not getting any sleep. I don’t like meds but sometimes, it’s just a bridge to where you want to get. When I read that you just want to get back to the good old days, that is me!! I could sleep at the drop of a hat, tv on, didn’t matter. Now I have to have everything and quiet, I go through all these things that I never had to do before and in my mind, I hate it so that doesn’t help with the sleep. I would say take it easy on yourself, if you need to take the meds for a little while to get a little sleep it will be ok, we will get back to where we don’t need anything and sleeping like we used to.

All the best Robb

[Coli85]

Robb

Yeah, I’m not against meds. I’m just sacred of them and the nasty side effects that can come along with them. I was able to get 6 hours of broken sleep last night, which is better than the 1-3 hours of broken sleep I’ve been getting over the past almost 3 months. I really need to get on a schedule, for these past few months I’ve been allowing my anxiety/panic to dictate when I sleep, which is always at different times. So now I’m going to have to set a bedtime and stick to it, because, although it does not help everyone. I know that it’s beneficial to many especially those who are having a difficult time with sleep. I keep you updated.

-Colibri

[Robb]

Colibri,
I hate the meds; I also don’t like the side effects. I just want to sleep, and the anxiety seems to crank up the closer to bedtime it gets. I really just need to stop over thinking it and see what happens. wish us both the best and we will get back to where we can both just sleep and get on with our lives.

Robb

[Coli85]

Robb

I get anxiety as bedtime nears as well also, when I’m just tried, which is most of the time. So the anxiety builds up and then I try to sleep and it’s just hard. Then when I do sleep the quality is horrible because of all the anxiety. It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s also why I was giving the meds, to help me break the cycle. But, like I said, I’m scared of the meds.

-Colibri

[Robb]

Colibri,
I do not blame you at all, I don’t understand why get the anxiety about sleep, I just want to be able to sleep like everyone else. I feel like life is passing me by because of this, I get all these weird symptoms, and I know it’s because I don’t sleep but then it goes into the what if’s bucket. It’s that cycle you talk about, having been through it before, you would think I would know what to do and the how to resolve it path. I think that I let it go on for so long, now it’s a long walk back.

Robb

[Coli85]

Robb

What kind of symptoms do you have? Yes, I feel like life is passing me by as well, it’s absolutely heartbreaking. My daughter 18th birthday was spent in the ER with me for hours because of anxiety, then when we were out trying to engage in some form of celebration, I was a complete mess because of the high anxiety and lack of sleep. Now I just feel out of it most of the day, the anxiety/panic has really calmed down. I don’t know, I keep telling myself it’s getting better, and that my system is resetting and that it’s just a matter of time before I’m back to myself. Nevertheless, it’s been almost 3 months, and I’ve still have not had any peaceful sleep. How many days do you typically go without sleep before crashing? My problem is I can’t seem to fall asleep until the early morning.

-Colibri

[Robb]

Your story breaks my heart, because I know what you are going through. Anxiety came on after not sleeping for 3 days and has not left, I sat around too much so I don’t build up the sleep like I used to, I feel very zoned out, start sweating for no reason, well I guess I know the reason, anxiety and lack of sleep. I just want to be able to sleep like I used to and not have to worry about if I will or not, but I guess it’s a choice if I will worry or not. I also tell myself that I am getting better having been through it before I know that it can get better and will this time, if I (we) get out of our heads.

[Coli85]

Robb

Yeah, but it’s hard to get out of your head. Have you had your VitD levels tested? I did and I’m deficient, I’m going to start treating the deficiency tomorrow (10/23/25) and hopefully that helps me a little. It’s the strange and scary symptoms that also comes along with sleep, you know, the not knowing if you were asleep, the vivid dreams, the dreaming before sleeping, the racing thoughts?, and losing the ability to drift off into sleep, you know? I don’t get the sleepy drift off anymore. It’s frustrating

-Colibri

[Robb]

I know just what you mean, my Vit was also low and have been taking D for it. There is all sorts of crazy stuff that can come along without sleep for sure, the racing thoughts is what gets me and trying to stop them, just makes them came on harder.

[Coli85]

Rodd

I guess that’s what the Benzos are for, to help us calm down so that we can sleep. I’ve been wondering about CBT-I and if it could help? Have you tried it yet?! I think I may need to start taking the benzo, because I’m due back to work on 11/5/25 and I can’t keep going like this.

-Colibri

[Chee2308]

Hi guys,

May I quip in for a bit? I am a recovered insomniac since 2020 and I sleep absolutely wonderfully and peacefully now.

Have you tried doing nothing for a change? Except getting into and out of bed at regular times. That’s it. The absolute bare minimum. Everything else is just noise. What you are really dealing with is just noise inside your head and it keeps prompting you to do this and that, take benzos, take pills, do relaxation exercises, drink “sleepy” teas and the list goes on and on and on. All that will not help if you don’t address the big elephant in the room: the fear of poor sleep. Living in fear all the time simply because you think you can’t sleep well. It is essentially losing sleep over sleep itself. To get out of this mess, you will need to stop fearing it. Yes, you will sleep bad on some nights but so what’s the big deal?? Make yourself confront the scenario.

You will need to start making light of your insomnia. Be creative. Doing this will decrease the impact your own thoughts have on you. Because all this is essentially self fear-mongering. You are literally frightening yourself awake. If you choose to keep engaging in endless mind battles, you will always get stuck in it. Go the other way. Stop engaging and stop bothering about it. Do it slowly and everything will settle down.

Make fun of insomnia. Be satirical about it. That will lessen the grip it has over you. When I can’t sleep, I make poems about it too:

Night’s dark canvas, stars up high
My mind’s a mess, can’t deny
The thoughts they swirl, like a restless sea
As I lie here, wide-eyed and free

[Coli85]

Chee

I have not had not 1 day of good sleep in almost 3 months. I’m guilty of thinking about my sleep all day everyday because I feel like crap all day everyday because of my lack of sleep, and the ridiculously terrifying poor quality of the sleep that I do manage to get. However, I have not taking anything for it, thusfar. However, maybe I need to, at this point. I’m sorry, but I find it rather insensitive of you to tell someone who’s suffering so profoundly, to not do anything about their suffering, to stop thinking about it, to make light of it. I don’t believe you ever suffered from sleep issues, there’s no way.

-Colibri

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