[Coli85]

Robb

Hey, I had a 8.5 long sleep a few days ago, however, I woke up feeling horrible🤷 have not been sleeping well the past 2 days and feel like crap. Soooo happy to hear you’re getting some sleep.

-Colibri

[Robb]

Colibri,
Sounds like we are in the same boat, I really don’t understand this bouncing around. Even though I got a couple days of sleep, last two nights not so much.

Robb

[believer123]

Hi Colibri,

I can relate to your experience down to the very detail. I’m not writing this as someone who is fully out of the woods but as someone who is no longer in the darkest depths of this experience. My mindset is NOT even close to perfect and while I completely agree and strive to get to a place that Chee describes, I do want you to know that there is hope for progress even if you can’t achieve that at peace with insomnia mindset right away.

As someone who was extremely resistant to medication I did eventually agree to go on a low dose of Zoloft and at one point was on 3 different sleeping medications that barely worked + kolonopin in the afternoon.

After starting Sleep Reatriction Therapy under the watch of a local practice, I’ve been able to wean off of all the sleeping medications and am currently on the very lowest dose of kolonopin that I take in the afternoon (like hours before bedtime so technically not for sleep. I went from .5 to .25) and am continuing to taper off that while still managing an average of 6 hours of solid sleep a night. Something I never thought would happen again after getting nothing to MAYBE 6 hours of broken sleep once a week if I was lucky and even then it was the kind of sleep I couldn’t tell if I was asleep or awake for. The meds helped me be calm enough to partake in the Sleep Restriction Therapy and start setting up a new circadian rhythm which between the grace of God and SRT is the only reason I think I’ve been able to wean off of most of them and still maintain solid sleep. The hours aren’t my favorite (I usually conk out at 10 and wake up 4/5) but I’m learning to embrace the new circadian rhythm and early morning time. When I have a rough night which these days means having a hard time falling asleep and then getting 4 hours (which at one point I would have done ANYTHING for) guess what? I panic and get upset and feel fear bc I’m human and there’s no shame in it. I am absolutely striving to attain the at peace w insomnia perspective but I just want you to know that I am healing without having achieved it first and the medication has been a leg up in helping to calm down my nervous system enough to achieve it. Medication or no medication, peace of mind or no peace of mind you deserve to feel no shame. Give yourself as much love as possible. This is hard and heartbreaking and you are strong for simply being here. I just wanted to share my experience hoping it helps <3

[Coli85]

Believer123

Thank you so much for reaching out, I really appreciate you taking the time out to respond to share your story and what helped you. I think my problem is intense anxiety/panic disorder. I think once I address that sleep will come a little easier.

-Colibri

[Coli85]

Robb

Yes, it sucks, got 6.5 hours of horrible restless sleep, at this point I’m taking what I can get. How have you been since you last posted?

-Colibri

[Chee2308]

Hang in there guys.
Ironically, I also have my own share of sleeping problems lately. I went from doing 8/9 hours during my best to now only 4/5. So yeah, I admit I am struggling again, and it would be nice to be back to sleeping peacefully like before. Because after I recovered years ago, my sleep schedule became super relaxed and I didn’t strictly keep to a sleep window and I just went to and out of bed at any time I wanted. So quite possibly, my circadian rhythm went out of whacks, and I was finding myself falling asleep and waking up progressively later, which isn’t necessarily a problem because I was sleeping, or so I thought.

So when I began going to bed earlier, I developed sleep onset insomnia which progressed to a sleep maintenance one over couple of weeks. I would now be able to fall asleep early in the night but I could only do 4-5 hours straight, the later 2-3 hours (always the more difficult ones to access), which I deem as bonus sleep and which I would usually get until lately, became increasingly inaccessible. That is a source of frustration but behind it all, I was also having health anxiety as well and unsurprisingly, my sleep became disturbed because of it. It would be really nice to sleep that extra 1-3 hours again.

But anyways, sorry for my ranting. Let’s admit it, we’re all only humans and that it’s okay to be struggling again sometimes. We all face issues in our lives that may make peaceful sleep temporarily elusive but let’s keep our spirits up and believe that change is always possible so that we may again find peace in our lives and sleep. Best wishes to everyone.

[sleep]

Chee, thank you so much for your honesty and how we struggle at times. I know I was doing really well and got sick and could not get my sleeping back right. Finally, I did thank goodness. But I also know things happen in life and aggravate us and I can expect to have a bad night of sleep at times. Like Martin Reed says we will have good days and we will have bad days.

I am just glad I am sleeping at all during stressful times. There was a time when I could not sleep at all and this would go on for a night or two. I am sure you will get back on track, you have worked so hard on this. You have helped me so much. I know when I cant sleep well I can always rest!

[Robb]

Hi Colibri
Mine has been hit or miss, and mine, I mean days with zero sleep. I think I really have some sleep anxiety, which I guess is normal. I have made a sleep window of no earlier than 10:30 pm but I wake up at 4:00 am no matter what. Looking at the others that have posted, sleep is a little difficult right now, I try not to get too worked up before bed, but it seems easier said than done. I am sorry that it’s still an issue for you, but I pray we (all) will get some relief soon.

Robb

[Chee2308]

Hello guys!

Glad to say I’ve been doing 6-7 hours now. Having experienced insomnia a second time, here are my key insights and thoughts:

1. Has anyone heard about the DARE challenge? Basically, don’t try to calm or talk yourself out of your difficult situation. Actively challenge it. For example, if you have insomnia related anxiety, and you are having an unpleasant feeling right now, instead of taking deep breaths or trying to calm yourself, say something like, “Make me 10x worse. Right now. Do your worse and let’s see what you’ve got.” Or if you are already feeling okay, you could challenge it by saying, “Insomnia, make me have a panic attack right now.” Keep finding ways to erode the grip that insomnia has over you. Be creative.

2. The concept of befriending wakefulness. Find ways to make wakefulness during bed time fun and exciting. If you find you can’t sleep, do something with that wakefulness so that it’s not scary but fun. Watch an online youtube video, play a puzzle, write a journal, or even go online shopping. Browse and buy yourself that nice watch, wallet, necklace, earrings or whatever you fancy. Call it “Revenge against my insomnia”. Remember that sleep and wakefulness are really two sides of the same coin. You only get one through the other.

3. Is anyone into supplements? Magnesium glycinate and Vitamin D might be helpful.

I hope everyone finds this useful and best wishes to all.

[Robb]

Hi Chee,
Glad to see your back on track and thank you for the information, still trying to track the source of the insomnia but the Magnesium might be something that I need to look into, willing to give it a try.

Thank You !
Robb

[Coli85]

Chee

I too have been sleeping 6-8 myself, however, I can only sleep in the morning and the quality is horrible. I might as well not be sleeping at all. Nevertheless, it’s nice to hear that you sleeping. I actually need to start taking VitD because I have a deficiency, and I have to take the magnesium as well because supposedly it supposed to be taken with vitD.

-Colibri

[Coli85]

Robb

I’m just checking in with you, how have you been? Hopefully you have been sleeping well..

-Colibri

[Chee2308]

Hi Colibri

Hope you are doing well.
May I enquire further what you meant by sleeping in the morning?
Does that mean you are getting out of bed at noon?

Chee

[Coli85]

Chee

Yes, I don’t wake up until the afternoon and I don’t get out of bed because I’m bedridden, I don’t have the energy. It’s been like this for almost 4 months, but for the last week, I’ve been in bed all week. I have no ideal what’s wrong with me.

-Colibri

[Chee2308]

Colibri

Very sorry to hear your about present condition. So you said it has been like this for 4 months? Did you have an accident or something?

But anyways, it’s probably and hopefully only temporary. Every situation, no matter how dire, can always get better. Don’t lose hope.

I don’t think you are having the fear of not sleeping since you admitted you are doing 6-8. That’s different from folks who go about their every day lives, being scared the heck out of not sleeping well, constantly being in this state of fear all the time and having panic attacks everywhere, wondering if they’ll ever recover. It’s an extremely debilitating situation and can rob anyone of any and every freedom they ever have. In this sense, these people are not doing much better than you so perhaps you can try to see your situation in a different light. But like I said, things can always improve so you may have to exercise a bit more patience and compassion toward yourself.

Best wishes to you and I hope you recover soon.

[Author]

Posts