[AtRecoveryPhase]

Two days ago, I had a really good night — I slept like a baby for 8 hours and fell asleep smoothly. But then anxious thoughts came back and ruined my next night, making it harder to fall asleep.

The good thing is that I don’t feel like I’m in a constant anxious state anymore. For example, I recently noticed I’m no longer scared of the clock ticking toward midnight (I used to panic about it). My biggest fear before was that I had lost the ability to sleep or that sleepless nights could somehow kill me. Now I’ve learned that’s not true.

I believe my ability to sleep is still there. The real problem is the anxiety and my body associating the bed with danger. When I’m able to relax, I see that sleep inevitably comes. More and more days feel normal. Sometimes I don’t even care how much sleep I got, and I can laugh and enjoy my day again — even though thoughts about sleep are still there. I really believe I’m in recovery now.

My two questions are:

How can I manage the obsessive thinking about sleep during the day and at night? I keep trying to “solve” it, googling and watching videos, even though I already understand it pretty well.

After a good night’s sleep, how can I stop anxiety from showing up the next day and ruining it?

Is sleep like myold self possible? Like don’t care about what time is it, sleep whenever I feel like it?

Anyway this question generated by chatgpt because my english isn’t good enough

[Bronte]

Hi

Yes, sleep like your old self will return but it takes time and a change in mindset.

The anxiety during the day about sleep is very common. You have proved that you can sleep well sometimes. If you prove that you can function on the days after a bad night then that helps to take the emphasis off ‘needing to sleep’. Once you can create a firm belief in your head about those two facts (you can sleep sometimes and that when you don’t sleep you can function) then you can reduce the worry about sleep. It’s all about convincing yourself that it doesn’t matter whether you sleep or not, you will get on with your life regardless. Gradually the anxiety and constant thoughts about sleep reduce and disappear.
Good luck!

[AtRecoveryPhase]

Hello Bronte

Thank you for replying, I really appreciate it.

[Chee2308]

Hello!

This is a very common pattern. First you had bad sleep, which is normal because it happens to everyone. Then you fear not sleeping (fear that your sleep is broken or may never recover). Then it starts branching out and you basically start fearing fear itself. It comes in all sorts of shapes and forms. It can be fear of discomfort during the day (feeling tired, sleepy, unable to focus, foggy brain), fear of being unable to do things like driving etc. Even when you are sleeping well, you fear having bad nights again etc. The remedy is to recognize this early. And telling yourself all this is unsubstantiated fears. The outcomes you fear haven’t even happened yet. You don’t know you can’t drive 4 hours until you tried it. So stop fear-mongering yourself. Recognize this all branches off the same thing. It is the fear of not sleeping well. You have to get over this fear in order to recover. And this usually means you must be okay with bad sleep. Once you stop fearing it, it has no control over you.

[sleep]

I have been sleeping the last 4 months since I started here. Like chee says you have to be ok with bad sleep. A couple of times I woke up but I have found I have to reassure myself I will sleep later if not now. I say you will sleep later so as long as I can sleep later I dont worry. I use to think I would have a stroke, heart attack if I didnt get some sleep. That fear did leave me, what a miracle.

I say just lay here and relax. My goal is to relax and enjoy my comfortable bed. If I get good and relaxed I go back to sleep but either way I took my power back. It is ok if I dont sleep, dont let sleep bully you, you will sleep eventually.

[Author]

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