[teekaye]

It won’t! That’s just you catastrophising, it’s an anxious thought about your relationship and that’s it. It’s not reality, it’s not a fact. It’s just a thought. You’re going through a rough time and it’s understandable you want to talk about it with your husband. I was the same way. I did get a journal to write my thoughts down, and that did help me quite a bit to get all my anxious thoughts out. It didn’t solve the problem, but it helped. I will tell you this: when I first got insomnia when I was six months pregnant with my son, I had a complete mental breakdown over it, and of course, at the time I thought it was because of the lack of sleep. But now that the insomnia is back and I’m beginning to change my mindset around it, I’m realizing the breakdown wasn’t due to lack of sleep—it was due to my reaction to it. This time around I’m working really hard to just live life like normal, no cancelling plans, no putting things off, etc., just because of a bad night’s sleep. It’s really hard to do, but it is helping with my mental health, and this time around my approach to this insomnia is much healthier than it was last time. Now I’m just working on the anxiety part of it, that hyper arousal I get in approach to bedtime. That’s the piece that’s really hard, but that’s why I just tell myself it’s going to take time and that’s okay. In the meantime if I have a bad night of sleep or a few bad nights, I will be okay, my kids will be okay, I will be able to take care of them.

[chicca001]

Thank you teekaye, your words are so helpful, you make me feel better.
I always catastrophize everything indeed, and now that I am a mum and my thoughts and behaviours can affect my son, it all looks much more difficult.
Do you think that, if your insomnia happened in your first pregnancy rather than the second, you would still have had a second pregnancy?
This is something I am really scared about: I really want a second child, even if not in the near future, and I am afraid that this condition will prevent me from having it, because as you know the first months with a newborn are so rough in terms of sleep and I am afraid I would not be able to cope with it.

[teekaye]

I get it, and I do absolutely think I’d be afraid to have a second child because of my anxiety, but if you really want a second child, then you should have a second child. Otherwise you’re giving this insomnia so much power over you and your life and you just can’t do that. You deserve to live the life you want to live. I had the horrible insomnia when I was pregnant, and actually I was completely fine during the newborn phase. Obviously everyone is different, but you will get through this and once you do, you’ll realize if this ever happens again, you can get through it again.

[Martin Reed]

Difficult thoughts and feelings are normal and natural. When they show up you really have only two ways to respond:

1. Try to fight or avoid those difficult thoughts and feelings and perhaps end up doing things that move you away from the person you want to be and the life you want to live.

2. Practice acknowledging and making space for all those thoughts and feelings to exist, and continue to do things that keep you moving toward the life you want to live, even in their presence.

Which option feels most workable to you? What does your experience tell you?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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