[Magnus Wartenberg]

Dear all,

I am currently in my early 20s and have struggled with insomnia for most of my life. Although I have noticed temporary improvements in my sleep following the introduction of measures, I find it difficult to maintain a consistent sleep rhythm. For me, it only takes small changes in my daily life or routine for my sleep to suffer. For example, when I get home a little later than normal or even when my girlfriend sleeps in my room. These are things I wish I could do. Sometimes I do it anyway, but I quickly regret it because I have to experience sleepless nights again and again as a result. It’s sometimes very painful. I thought that sooner or later I would get used to such changes. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened yet. I therefore often feel hopeless. It’s sad to feel so trapped as a student. On top of that, I feel like I’m slowly destroying myself with all my thoughts. I feel like I could be a happy, healthy person if only I worried less.

Does anyone have any tips on how to desensitise myself? How can I manage to experience things that are important to me without firing up my anxiety, ruining my sleep and my health? Could it be that I’m too sensitive as a person and I will therefore never be able to improve things?

Sincerely
Magnus

[Chee2308]

If sleep wasn’t any concern, or you have no concept of it, how would it affect what you are doing or enjoying now? And why do you even think sleep has anything to do with your joy or suffering? Does sleep really define who you truly are or what you are capable of? Reflect on these points deeply because I believe everyone, including you, already have the answers but you refuse to acknowledge them.

Making sleep the basis of your successes or failures is like blaming a rainy day for ruining your day and whatever your future plans are, the thing is does it really?? You can’t do anything about a rainy day, nobody can. And that’s exactly what you are trying to put the blame on when it comes to sleep. If your sleep has suffered as a result of having your girlfriend sleeping over, was it really all that bad? Well what about the joy of spending time intimately with your loved one in bed beside you and haven’t you enjoyed that as well? There are always two sides to the same coin. Why do you only want to find faults in your actions but refuse to acknowledge and cherish those good moments? Then what are you really complaining about? Everyone has the same 24 hours every day but it’s like you are still dissatisfied with your 24 hours and you want it to be 25, 26 or 30 hours! It is unrealistic and continuing to harbor unrealistic expectations will only prolong your suffering needlessly and not end it. Quit the complaining and relentless dissatisfaction and start accepting and appreciating things as they are. True joy is rarely ended through sheer effort alone but only through wisdom, deep understanding and empathy. Good luck.

[Robb]

Hi Magnus,
Like you, I was a very sensitive person and changes to the repetitive nature that I had built for myself, would not feel right but I have found that I am a tad OCD so that would affect my sleep. I go to bed a certain time and get up at a certain time, little variations to my schedule would throw my sleep off. Once I wake up, I am up. Does not matter what time it is, it’s 2am now, so you make the best of it and get some cleaning done or reply to someone going through something. You are just living your life a little more than a person that sleeps all the time lol. My wife is sleeping and she is not having the fun that I am having. I noticed that you said (These are things I wish I could do. Sometimes I do it anyway, but I quickly regret it because I have to experience sleepless nights again and again as a result. It’s sometimes very painful) You have already done the road work for doubt to feed your Insomnia, if I do this my sleep will be affected, will it or are you planting the seed to make sure it does? You are in your 20’s, you should be enjoying life, not worrying about, if you are going to get enough sleep. DON”T FEED THE BEAST ! with worry live your life !!!

[Author]

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