[Sairana]

I started having sleep issues since Jan 2019. Falling asleep was initially the issue until middle of this year. But past couple of months have become worse and having issues even staying asleep. I find myself very active when I wake up and find it hard to go back to sleep.

I have had limited success when I tried sleep restriction for the first week last week. After first 2 days of only 2 hr sleep, I was able to sleep for 4-5 hours. But I don’t know if my body got used to the sleep restriction, haven’t had more than couple of hours of sleep this week.

I am trying mindfulness, meditation. They seem to help during the day but having difficulty at night applying mindfulness. I started different routines like exercising everyday for atleast 20 mins. Keeping myself busy during the day.

I admit that as evening I approaches I seem to follow a very rigid routine from 7pm. Put my kids to sleep, do dishes, watch TV show while drinking tea. Do body yoga. I do seem to have some micro sleeps. I doze off while watching TV show. So I know I didn’t lose my ability to sleep. My body gives me all the indications of sleep. I can hardly read lines in a book. I hit the bed and if I don’t fall asleep within half hour I know it will be a bad night for me. I do try to get up if its very bad and try to read a book on kindle. The only issue I have is I sleep next to my wife and I fear if I wake up too often I will disturb her. So sometimes I am calm bit not sleepy and I will stay in bed.
I feel like I try new things it works in the beginning and say I have been sleeping well for a week my mind begins to start doubting when this is going to fail. I am still not going for any sleep aids or medication. Due to anxiety I started taking anti anxiety medication for 2 months now. Its reduced my anxiety in the day but seems to not have an effect on sleep anxiety.
If two days without sleep it is hard to behave like normal during the day. Martin had suggested not to rest to conserve energy. But body is tired and I use a lot of will power to go about the day after a couple of nights of bad sleep.
I started to read DARE book and it seems to make sense on how to tackle anxiety. But it will take more practice. Sorry for my vent. I am just at a loss on how to proceed further with the sleep restrictions. Been keeping a sleep diary.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, Sairana — I am glad to hear that you have discovered sleep restriction since that is one technique that can help build sleep drive and reduce the amount of time available for prolonged nighttime wakefulness. It is, however, only one technique in the “CBT-I toolbox” so it’s good to hear that you are also working on techniques such as getting out of bed during the night and ensuring you remain active and engaged during the days!

It can take some time and consistent implementation of an appropriate sleep window before you notice consistent improvements in sleep — and this is why many people give up if they don’t notice results within a week or two. I would encourage you to keep going!

What is your current sleep window? What’s your earliest possible bedtime and final out of bed time in the morning?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Sairana]

Thank you Martin for getting back to me. After than initial rant, I am actually doing much better now. I read the DARE book and using the DARE app. The DARE approach has helped significantly with the anxiety issues. My sleep window is 12-6. I kept half hour more because I usually take a long time to sleep. I don’t get into bed earlier than 11:45 and always get out of bed no later than 6am. I have to say the past 2-3 days I have been falling asleep in 15 or 20 mins and wake up maybe once and able to go back to sleep in 15 mins. So averaging anywhere between 4.5 to 5 hours. I feel groggy when i have to get up at 6 but force myself to get up at 6. I find that this limited sleep is so much more refreshing than the same 4 or 5 hours but sleeping from 10pm-7am. I sleep in a much more alert state back then. The getting out of bed everytime i am very anxious was tough in the beginning but I realized after repeatedly doing it that it was much better to get out of bed and do something than lie in bed and think about sleep. It took my brain a few attempts to realize that.

What I notice now is that there’s tremendous sleep drive around 10:30-11. often times I find myself dozing when watching TV or doing a lying down mindfullness yoga. I can barely stay awake till 11:45 and then get to bed after 11:45.

I am noticing two things. I get up 15 or 20 mins before my alarm afraid I will miss my alarm because i kept a very soft tone so as not to wake up my wife. I just lie down and wake up when alarm goes off. Any tips for the alarm 🙂

I have done the following that is helping me with the sleep restriction:
1. MBSR 8 week program based on technique invented by Jon Kabat Zinn. In week 6.
2. DARE book is definitely a major help with the anxiety
3. During the day am able to not obsess over my inability to sleep.

Question is how long do I keep my sleep window? Until i sleep atleast 85% of my sleep window for 2 week? A little worry that if I extend my sleep window will i falter.

Thanks to you andthis site especially the podcasts, I am applying techniques that resonate with me based on the people’s efforts.

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by Sairana.
• This reply was modified 4 years ago by Sairana.

[Sairana]

It was working well where I was reaching 80% of sleep efficiency. But then life threw a curve ball. My 8 year old son had a nightmare 3 days ago and has been waking up multiple times during the night until last night. I therefore had a rough couple of nights with only 2-3 hours of sleep.

Quick question. I understand these factors are not my doing so I am not frustrated. But is it ok to adjust my sleep window to earlier by an hour or two and have an alarm earlier also. Is it ok to nap for 30 mins or so at night just to get some relief?

The DARE response has decreased my frustration remarkably but I suspect sleep restriction will take a couple more weeks for me. Another problem I have is I wake up an hour or half hour before my alarm. I think it is close to my wake up time so check the time and just lie down till alarm rings off. Is my checking the time preventing me from going back to sleep? I feel I am close to achieving the sleep efficiency of 80-85% and shouldn’t worry about how long it takes. Am I doing it right?

Merry Christmas to everyone and hope folks having success with their sleep. That is my wish and prayer.

[Martin Reed]

I think that, often, the best way to respond to temporary sleep disruption is to minimize our reaction because it’s often our response that can perpetuate sleep disruption (napping during the day, for example, can reduce sleep drive and make it harder to sleep at night).

You might want to look at getting a vibrating alarm that you can place on your wrist or under your pillow if you feel that having a quieter alarm is increasing arousal close to the time you need to be out of bed.

In terms of modifying the sleep window as you continue to make progress, here’s a video about this:

How (and when) to change your sleep window when implementing sleep restriction for chronic insomnia.

I hope this helps!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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