[Seps26]

insomnia basically controls my life. I don’t know if this is unusual but even when I go on holidays or I stay at someone else’s house (in a bed other than my own) my chances of sleep are zero. Whereas at my house in my bed I have a chance of sleeping. I also found that if I try to go to bed too late (not my usual bedtime of 9:30) I won’t sleep for some reason. So I don’t ever stay out late anymore. I hardly leave the house these days due to depression. I’ve always been a happy person and have always been a great sleeper, but since about 3 years ago the insomnia has taken control of my life and I fear I will never go back to normal. I’m worried I’m stuck like this forever, but watching these podcasts makes me think that if these people can go back to normal maybe so can I. People tell me it’s because I overthink and I need to relax my brain, but I know deep down that my mind is calm in bed it’s just my body won’t switch off. But that could be my subconscious brain thinking that bed is a threat. I just need help training my brain to be how it used to 🙁

[hiker]

Hi, Seps26, man, can I relate to what you are saying. I dealt with insomnia for 40+ years (does not mean you will, I had major unresolved childhood trauma etc.), and I used to envision insomnia as a powerful giant, and little me with no chance.

You mention depression. That will contribute to insomnia bigtime. Situational depression solely because you can’t sleep is one thing; major clinical depression is another. If there is any possibility of the latter, mental health treatment could help. This can involve antidepressants which can help with sleep—although no pill will ensure good sleep indefinitely. If it did, you would see a mile-long line at the pharmacy.

Suggest you keep exploring this website. Martin has a number of videos and emails which address various issues. One in particular which might fit your situation: our attitude about sleep. CBT can address this.

Do we have the attitude that sleep as a natural process, as in the body eventually gets hungry, so you eat; the body eventually gets tired, so you sleep. Or do we try to control it and freak out when sleep does not come. (one distinction: to resolve hunger, you have to do something, i.e. get something to eat and eat it; re sleep, the body just sleeps if we can get out of the way)

Finally, the huge difference between observing thoughts or living in them: “I am having the thought that I cannot sleep and my life is ruined,” or “I cannot sleep and my life is ruined.”

Take care. Easier said than done, but try to give yourself a break. It’s a tough struggle. It is really easy to go down the rabbit hole of despair when we can’t sleep. But you are not alone, and you are not—not—sentenced to a lifetime of insomnia.

[JackHart567]

@Seps26

Hey Seps, you replied to my post and I want you to know that I read it and you’re right you are not alone and neither am I. Reading your post literally makes me want to tear up, and not necessarily in a bad way. It make me so sad hearing this but it gives me hope and I know that there is other people like us out there.

I think its important that you realize you know it will not last forever, and if you have made it this far that proves you WILL be OKAY. Im no stranger to anxiety, and I have learned that it can be very debilitating and make you brain & body do whatever it wants. I think you are on the right track to tackle this, just keep going and know that you got this, we can do it together!

Lately I have been trying to be more optimistic and look at the bright side, trying to focus on the positive. After a rough last night I was thinking how this forum, and talking to you guys helps me.

[Author]

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