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We already have a great discussion going about insomnia triggers, but I thought it would be a good idea to talk about how our insomnia has progressed over time. Have you found it gets worse, or better? Why do you think that may be the case?
I have spoken to some who feel there insomnia has got better over time – they aren't necessarily sleeping any better, but they've learnt to accept (and cope) with the insomnia. For others, they would definitely say it's got worse – they no longer expect to sleep and see no improvement on the horizon.
How has insomnia affected you over time?
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Over time I have learned a lot. That insomnia is a miserable thing to have but one thing it has taught me is this, there is beauty in everything. I'm a blunt and miserable person due to leg pain, but due to my insomnia I am more alert, I notice things, when I get a double vision or my vision blends, it's scary but sometimes it's beautiful to see the water blending with a heavy snow fall.
It's helped me look at things in a different perspective and accept the little things, I may have some problems in life and my sleeping may be something terrible but I take it as a gift to notice the beauty in the world and not take things for granted.
Over time my insomnia hasn't really gotten worse or better, it gets really bad then really good, I'll sleep well and feel refreshed for a few weeks, then for rest of the year I'll sleep and feel like I never slept one bit, like it has drained me of everything, and I wont sleep for days on end.
I went through a desperate phase where I would sleep in a different place every night: the floor of my home office, my son's room, the living room, etc.
It would work for one night, but if I didn't keep changing places, I couldn't sleep. Eventually, I caved in and started the meds I'm on now.
The best thing I did was try not to fight it. I work from home now, sleep when I can (or need to) and generally feel better for it. I still have the urge to conform to “normal” sleep patterns sometimes but because I'm on my own there's no reason I have to
If I wasn't living with people who fall asleep when their heads hit their pillows, I would handle my insomnia much better. I actually get very jealous at night. LOL
Insomnia is a real beast. When I first started getting it I was very upset, because it's not like I ever slept well, but at least it was sleep. But then hours upon hours were spent awake and I would just lay there and reflect on what I was doing wrong.
Eventually, I came to terms with it. I don't like to take things, especially heavy sleep aids because they leave me so drained for two or three days, so at this point it's just a part of life. It would be nice to sleep restfully one night, but if I really think back even when my husband is home I don't sleep well. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, I guess, so my anxiety keeps me a light sleeper but I do fall back asleep easier. Plus, for the first few months upon returning, he has to work through the adjustment and that makes it difficult on a whole other level.
I don't know that it's something anyone can completely adjust to, because there's always some unknown, but it is something we can elarn to cope with.
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