[DeterminedK]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been struggling with horrible insomnia now for a while. It began when my daughter was 2 months old and HER sleep began to deteriorate and then I would be concerned about making sure I was sleeping when she was sleeping which just caused anxiety and insomnia. It progressed to the point where she was (and is) sleeping through the night (11-12 hours without interruption) and I sleep 2-4 hours per night most nights. I have trouble falling asleep. I had a 2 month reprieve where I was sleeping normally again but a few bad nights triggered it and I’ve been back in the cycle for a month now. I have read a lot of CBT resources from a friend who is a psychologist and have been practicing sleep restriction etc but haven’t seen great progress. I know I need to stop thinking and worrying about it so much….being on maternity leave gives you a lot of free time to think though, especially during covid. I go back to work in 3 weeks and I think that will help but at the same time, I worry about the lack of sleep affecting my job performance and the safety of my commute. I have a job where mistakes could cost lives.

I would love to hear about others who just lay in bed until 4-5am not sleeping. I don’t lay there stressing out or worrying. It’s almost like I just daydreaming and then I realize ive been awake for hours (not clock checking but you just know)…so I find getting out of bed if I’ve not been asleep for 30min hard because I don’t really realize how long it’s been and I’m not laying there stressing out. Any thoughts/ideas? I would like to get back to normal

[Deb]

Have you heard of ACT? I had sleep onset insomnia too, lying in bed for hours, and ACT helped me recover from it. If you haven’t heard of ACT (most people haven’t including sleep doctors, psychiatrists and therapists) then check out “The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows. There’s a thread here completely devoted to using it. I had insomnia over a year and now I’ve been sleeping very well for over 3 months, many times sleeping 8 or 9 hours (I don’t have to get up early.)

[DeterminedK]

Does Martin ever use these techniques?

[Martin Reed]

I am so encouraged that you are exploring evidence-based cognitive and behavioral techniques as a way to address the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate sleep disruption!

Your concern about job performance is understandable, but how we sleep usually has far less of an impact on our days than we often think.

Trainee doctors and surgeons, for example, often have to deal with life-or-death situations while getting as little as three hours of sleep each night (and often working more than 100 hours each week) — but they get through it and successfully complete their training.

In studies, the only consistent observations we see connected to sleep loss are daytime drowsiness (usually when sedentary), reduced performance on routine and boring tasks and more irritability — and even these effects subside after a couple of weeks as the body becomes accustomed to less sleep.

What can happen, however, is that every time we make a mistake or experience a negative moment during the day we blame the previous night of sleep — whether sleep is truly to blame or not.

Sleep restriction is only one component of CBT-I and usually takes a few weeks of consistent implementation. If you are spending a lot of time awake in bed during the night, and that wakefulness is not pleasant, it can be really helpful to get out of bed and do something you find a bit more enjoyable instead.

Shifting unpleasant wakefulness out of bed often helps calm the mind a bit quicker and it prevents you from reinforcing a negative association between the bed and unpleasant wakefulness.

If you are spending hours and hours awake in bed on most nights, this suggests that you might be allotting a bit too much time for sleep, but it’s hard to say for sure based on your post alone.

Ultimately, nothing you have described is unusual so I have no reason to believe you won’t find CBT-I techniques helpful. I don’t typically coach clients on ACT techniques because I feel that staying in bed when being in bed doesn’t feel good and accepting any worries or thoughts (really the only main difference between ACT and CBT-I) is a very high cognitive skill that requires a lot more practice compared to just getting out of bed and doing something enjoyable.

I hope this helps!

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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