[Wasi]

Hello everyone,

As long as i remember i have had problems falling asleep at night. It started when i was about 3 years old. To be more specific, after we had arrived to austria as refugees after escaping war. I have no sense for what it is like to be sleepy at an hour that makes you get enough sleep to get up the next day. In my avarage phases I fall asleep at about 3-4am at good times maybe at 1 am and bad times at 5 am up until midday. It has made my life impossible to live. I know my talents, my passions and my interests, but i have spent my life rather imagining doing those things throughout sleepless nights than actually doing them. I barely managed to get my highschool graduation my teacher once told me i would end up obe day as a homeless person on the street (nobody really every thought they had a pedagogical responsability there but rather treat me like a “lazy kid who just doesn’t wanna get up”). Which has been 10 years ago. Now i just keep trying to start over and over again just to see me fail again because i just can’t function at the hours society has diceded for all of us to function.

Having insomnia has prevented me from being the person a actually am, which has made me become so resentful.

I have a boyfriend now. My first real relationship and I am 30. I love him so much. and I can’t mess this up, he is doing everthing to help me. But noone want to stay with a person for too long, who just stays in bed all day and stays up all night. But vice versa he is the person i want to spent my life with. And I wanna do the best I can to be better, so that we can be better.

Thank you for taking the time to read through my entry.

Best

Wasan

[Martin Reed]

Hello Wasan and thank you for sharing your experience with everyone. I am sorry to hear about your struggles with sleep. I think if you ask your boyfriend, your sleep issues are likely to be less disruptive to him than you think they might be.

If you had no social or work obligations and could go to bed at any time you wanted, and get out of bed at any time you wanted, do you think you’d still find it hard to sleep?

When do you go to bed now, and when are you getting out of bed to start your day? On an average night, how many hours of sleep would you say you’re getting?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Wasi]

Hey Martin,

Thank you very much for your answer and your consideration.

So to answer your questions: it has affected him and therefor our relationship because a lot of times he would stay up with me, much longer than he would if he was alone and then get up late and miss classes at the conservatory. But we became aware of that, we had fights about it discussed it and now I try not to keep him awake the moment he gets sleepy in bed, and he can sleep wjen his body is tellibg him to do so.

Also it has effected him because my insomnia is more a symptom of my anxiety and depression. So sometimes i would spend weeks barley getting out of bed, be in a bad mood and snap at him when he really doesn’t deserve it.

Yes you are right, i would be feeling less bad about my situation if i could just have the sleeping rhythm I have without having to get anywhere the next day. I quit my job 1 1/2 months ago. And i also quit my studies.

But i don’t really think i would fall asleep mor easily, because i have been in  that situation a lot.

It’s not that i never have phases where i don’t get up earlier then usual but it’s not necesserily when i have no job.

It’s is more likely to happen when i am less anxious about everthing and fearing that I’m just gonna fail all over again.

I mostly know how to keep myself occupied during sleepless night hours because i have been living like that all my life. But this became harder since i moved to him (i was living in spain and moved back to austria because of him)

Now I live with im in an about 10m2 room in a shared flat. So at night i just lie next to him in bed trying not to be too active in order for him to get good rest.

 

I go to bed early. At 10pm but without any medication i have been falling asleep at around 9am in the morning for the past few weeks. Since i always needed more than avarage amount of sleep i get up in the late afternoon sometimes and than of course i get up already anxious knowing the next night i won’t be even close to be able to sleep.

I would like to try cbt-i again. But its hard when you live in a place where nothing really belongs to you and you only have the bed. Because there is no space in the room and the other areas are commun areas.

I was on issr AD for almost 2 years, i have taken benzos, antihistaminics, melatonin, seroquel, went almost 2 years to therapy and am trying to get a new therapist again.

Sometimes i just wish to have my own place to live where nobody gets neither to witness nor to judge when i fall asleep or wake up, and i just organize my day by myself and my needs. But the outer 9-5 world makes it impossible.

Sorry for my mistakes, as you have noticed by now, English is not my native language and I’m a bit struggling to put my thoughts into sentences that make sense. I hope I managed somehow.

What more can i do besides looking for a therapist and trying cbt-i?

I also found these apps: youper, wysa and woebot. Created by psychologist. You basically chat with an AI wich is supposed to help you on your insomnia, anxiety and depression, and track your patternd. Have you heatd about them? What do you think of it

I am a dance student, so i have been getting fairly enough excercice, as long as i manage to go to classes regularly.

 

Ok that was another long massege, thats enough for now.

I really appreciate this forum and started exploring the other threads. Ut makes me see, I’m really not alone. <3

 

Bye

Wasan

 

 

 

[Martin Reed]

Hello Wasan. The reason I asked about how you think you’d sleep if you didn’t have any commitments during the day was to figure out if your sleep issues are due to a circadian rhythm issue. For example, some people may think they have insomnia because they can’t fall asleep until very late in the night — but if they have days off work and don’t try sleeping earlier than normal and waking at a time to start work they sleep just fine. This would suggest that a circadian rhythm disorder such as delayed sleep phase syndrome may be behind the sleep problems.

You mentioned that you go to bed at 10:00 PM — are you feeling sleepy and ready for sleep at that time?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Wasi]

Hi Martin,

I am most certain that you could call my condition delayed sleep phase syndrom. I have done so much research over the years and although there is not much to find in the internet about it, I could identify myself most with the DSPS.

Because once i fall asleep, I sleep. And a lot. I need 9 hours minimum. I used to need 12 or more in my youth and 20ies. So yes, it’s not insomnia in the sense of not being able to sleep, i dont wake and stay up after 4 hours of sleep. I have lost jobs in the past because of not getting up.

I would always need a lot more sleep than others. (I always assumed that it was my “coping mechanism” after escaping war +dysfunctional family. Sleeping a lot in order to process. Also aways had a lot of nightmares.)

I have had it for so many years that i can’t really agree that on my days off I sleep just fine.  But it is probably true that if the next day is a big date, something really important to me, or even more, big responsability, it can get even harder to fall asleep.

No, i am not tired ever at 10pm. It’s just that being at home equals being in bed for me since i moved in with my boyfriend into his tiny room

It’s not possible to feel sleepy at 10pm when just woken up at 5pm.

So my concrete plan would be try to stay awake for one day ubtil the next evening and then go to bed to break the circle and that strictly applying cbt-i.

I did the staying awake till the next evening a gazillion times in my life already i would always fall back with my delayed rhythm within a few weeks. But maybe with strict cbt-i it could work better.

What would you recommend me on that.

I see that you are ingreat favor of the cbt-i method.

What do you think about medication?

Benzos, AD?

Thank you

Wasan

[Martin Reed]

CBT-I is the best treatment for chronic insomnia but it won’t be helpful if you have delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) since that is a circadian rhythm sleep disorder. Your best course of action is likely to find a sleep specialist for assessment and go from there. Do keep us updated, and I wish you the very best.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Wasi]

Omg. This was almost shocking news, and you probably safed me hours, weeks or even months of trying and not succeeding.

Thank you so much for giving me your thoughts and your clear answer on that. I will try to find a specialist and will let you know as soon as I have any news.

 

Keep up the good work. And I will keep checkin in to read about the others.

 

 

[Martin Reed]

You are very welcome, Wasi — do keep us updated with your progress!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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