[Amiemp]

I have struggled with insomnia for years now. Ive tried every natural supplement and prescription sleeping pills. They might work but it’s always a temporary fix. I recently had covid and couldn’t sleep a wink which was very scary because all I could think about was how my body needed to sleep to recover and how I’m going to have long covid insomnia. I googled too many things and my anxiety went through the roof. So here I am 14 days post covid, insomnia worse than it’s ever been before and I feel absolutely helpless.

[hiker]

Hi, Amiemp, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Sleep anxiety is a struggle, then covid on top of that.

It probably doesn’t feel like progress, but you have learned a key component: there is no medication which will guarantee great sleep over the long term. In fact, there is nothing–meds. or otherwise—which will guarantee great sleep.

Wonderful. So now what?

One step could be stepping back a bit and noticing your thoughts. You are not your thoughts; they really are separate, they are mental constructs generated from neurotransmitters. A lot of them are quite helpful, such as the thought which leads your right foot to step on the brake pedal when the pedestrian walks in front of you.

Other thoughts are not so helpful, and it can help to see them as drifting by through your head.
(More like whizzing by, when you are really stressed out.) Thoughts like: I’m having the thought that since I had covid, I am going to get long covid; or I’m having the thought that the stuff I found on the Internet is automatically true; or I’m having the thought that if I feel strongly that I am helpless, then it means I am helpless.

Watching your thoughts go by might sound ridiculous. Especially when you can’t sleep. My point is that we all get all sorts of weird sh__ flying through our heads, and it helps to step back and note that’s what is happening, rather than automatically buy into it. And that it’s hard to think straight when you’re tired.

What I am describing is mindfulness, which is kind of a fad right now so there is some flaky stuff floating around. But beyond that, it has been around for 3,000 years or so. In Western medicine, it is finally starting to gain some traction for people who are struggling but don’t necessarily need long term therapy. Martin can correct me if need be, but I think his course on cognitive behavior therapy for insomnia (CBT-i) is geared this way. Same with his emails and also a lot of the comments you see on this forum from people who are traveling the same road as you.

All this doesn’t mean perpetual serenity and great sleep every night. It does not make everything certain. What long covid really involves–which genetic type is more likely to contract, with which symptoms, to what degree, for how long…. could be this, could be that, etc., much the same as will this or that political leader launch a nuclear weapon. None of which is pleasant to think about. But I think there is value in acknowledging that life is uncertain—rather than spinning endlessly into “what if………”

Take care, you are not alone in this!

[Author]

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