[jazzcat22]

Hi to all.  I’m a 64 year old female who has never been a great sleeper in that I never slept more than seven hours, woke up frequently during the night, always get up by 7 a.m. (usually way before).  I’ve never overslept in my life—don’t know if that should be on my bucket list!  I always laugh at people who go crazy about losing an hour of sleep with Daylight Saving Time and can’t function since I often “lose” an hour of sleep.

But my sleep wasn’t an issue.  I’m not the type to stay out at night, so going to bed between 10 and 11 worked for me.  Woke up feeling refreshed and happy to start the day…without coffee.  Lots of energy, especially for someone my age.  And then it all changed about six weeks ago.  My husband had to go to the Emergency Room twice in one week—once for a very stressful cardiac event.  Up all night both nights.  This was disruptive for my sleep, but probably even more so was that as part of his ER visits, a CAT scan was done and a mass was found in his back.  Not only did he and I have anxiety about this, but I even went through a week of anticipatory grieving that it would be malignant and he would be dead within a year or so.

I went to bed one night around 10 and discovered that I couldn’t fall asleep (normally it would take about 20 minutes).  This continued night after night.  It’s not like I was even able to make up the sleep with naps or sleeping better the next night.  I do yoga, qi gong, and meditate, so I was able to work through the grief and anxiety quickly….but sleep still eluded me.  I didn’t feel wired or anxious.  I’ve learned to really minimize my thoughts.  I just felt alert, the way I would at 10 a.m. after a good night’s sleep,

He had surgery a week ago.  The tumor was benign and he will be okay.  But my sleep continues to be a problem.  Some nights I get two hours sleep, like from 3 to 5 a.m.  I’m retired and don’t have to be anywhere, but my husband is up by 6 and I like to go to the gym every day by 9.  So it’s not like I’d want to sleep until 10 a.m., even if I could.  But when I get only three hours of sleep two nights in a row, I feel awful.  Not sleepy, but just mentally fuzzy.  Not as sharp.  Don’t feel like I can drive.  Forgetting stuff.  Not enjoying the insights that would come to me while meditating.  Not enjoying life as much.

My sleep hygiene is excellent.  Dinner at 6.  Light snack at 8.  No alcohol or caffeine.  Exercise done in the morning with very light yoga/qi gong in the afternoon.  Eat super-healthy.  Quiet house—we just listen to some jazz or classical music for an hour in bed, then have white noise on during the night.  Dark room.

I’ve stopped reading in bed and no longer try to go to bed with my husband.  Willing to do the sleep restriction/scheduling thing.  My ideal sleep would be 11 to 6, but I’m willing to try for 12.  But even when I have stayed up to 12 and beyond just reading or listening to music, I still haven’t gotten sleepy until 3 a.m. on many nights.

I got to 64 years without ever taking a prescription sleeping pill (experimented with melatonin years ago but didn’t think it did much.  Also took benadryl nightly until research showed a correlation with dementia).  But I’ve felt so bad and have had some anxiety about this that I saw doctors twice.  They didn’t want to give me a prescription for something like Ambien—afraid I’ll do the sleep-walking/driving thing, especially at my age.  So they both gave me anti-depressants for off-label use (insomnia—I’m not at all depressed, although I may get there if tis contiues).  Trazadone and mirtzapine.  Tried melatonin again.  Trytophan.  Benodryl.  Sometimes a combo of these.  On one night a combo may give me seven hours of sleep—the next night only two.

I will try to just do the sleep restriction for another two weeks until I can see my doctor (don’t really know what he will do for me).  I do have a question about the sleep restriction.  Let’s say I aim to go to bed at 12.  But if I get sleepy at 11:30 and don’t go to bed, it’s very likely that then I won’t be sleepy at 12 or hours later.  I’ve always had a small window of opportunity for sleep.  Years ago I could talk to my husband for a while when we turned the lights out, but then it got to the point that I had to try to catch my sleep immediately as it ocurred or it would go away quickly.

This is so discouraging.  I live such a healthy lifestyle, but how healthy can I be on three hours sleep a night?

 

 

 

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, jazzcat22. I hear you when you mention how frustrating (and sometimes amusing) it is to hear people complain about sleep when they only miss an hour here or there! I’m also glad to hear that your husband’s tumor was benign and that he’ll be OK. That must be a huge relief.

If you want to give sleep restriction a try (and you are averaging less than five hours of sleep each night), you should try allotting five-and-a-half hours for sleep.

When you have decided upon a ‘sleep window’, here are a couple of things to bear in mind:

1. The start of your sleep window is the earliest time you can go to bed. If you don’t feel sleepy when your sleep window begins, you shouldn’t go to bed until you do feel sleepy.

2. No matter how good (or how badly) you sleep, you should always be out of bed by the end of your sleep window every single day.

If you find that you always get sleepy at the same time each night (for example, around 11.30pm) then you should think about using that time as the start of your regular sleep window.

I hope this helps!

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