[Dani]

Hello everyone, my name is Dani and I am new to this forum. I have never been a good sleeper and have struggled with falling asleep for most of my life, however I have never had insomnia like this (I also struggle with anxiety and I know the two go hand in hand). I gave birth for the first time in February to my amazing son. When he was about two months old, following a period of difficulty with breastfeeding I experienced a significant drop in my supply and it triggered this onset of anxiety and insomnia that I have not been able to get fully out of. The strange thing is that my general anxiety about breastfeeding and being a new mom has actually improved a lot (not gone, but much better, breastfeeding is going well, my son is healthy, happy and thriving) but the insomnia has not improved to the same degree.

I mostly struggle right now with waking up during the night and not being able to go back to sleep. I occasionally take Unisom which works about 80% of the time but it leaves me groggy the next day and I know it is not a long term solution. I am so desperate to get through this, it is impacting every area of my life and making it hard to enjoy this time with my son and family.

Thank you for reading. I am hoping there is hope to get through this,
Dani

[Ryan]

Hi Dani, my wife went through the same thing. Do you have an expectation of waking up? Is your son sleep trained? She had a middle of the night struggle to fall back asleep because she was so used to getting up to feed the baby.

If your son is (mostly) sleeping through the night, it might be wise to close the door and remove the expectation from your psyche of getting up.

If thats not possible, it helps to take magnesium glycinate and calcium together along with 1 to 3 mg of melatonin, and a dark cool room. Remove all pressure to fall back asleep take some deep breaths. Inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 7. Your body will get what it needs, even if lay there still and close your eyes, your brain can still rest. Your brain has an incredible way of getting what it needs in just a few short hours. It’s a myth that you need 7 or 8.

[Chee2308]

Hello Dani!
Welcome to this forum. I recommend you read Cindy’s success story and how she overcame her postpartum insomnia, very similar to your situation. Her story is very insightful and full of wonderful advice on how to tackle sleep issues for new mums:

100% cured from postpartum insomnia 🙂

Please don’t make how you sleep the main focus and determinant of how you feel or perform the next day. Because sleep really doesn’t define that. The suffering you go through because you feel you don’t sleep well is unfortunately, self-imposed. The key to sleeping well is actually being okay and no longer afraid of not sleeping well. It’s really a paradox. Focus more on other things like being a better mum, indulging in your hobbies and making a wonderful experience out of life. Accept that life isn’t always a bed of roses, and you won’t always get what you want but that’s okay, and there’s no reason to beat yourself up over it. Good luck to you and congratulations on being a parent.

[Dani]

Ryan and Chee thank you so much for your responses. Ryan I am sorry that your wife went through this I hope she is doing better. Thank you for the recommendations-I do take some magnesium and melatonin before going to bed at night but had not thought of doing that when I wake up. Our son sleeps pretty well through the night but he is still sleeping in our room. The main barrier to moving him to his nursery has just been my anxiety-I’m worried that having him in a separate room will make me more anxious and make it harder to sleep and I keep hoping I’ll get several nights good sleep and be ready to move him-but I am realizing this is faulty thinking. Thank you for the reminder to take the pressure off going back to sleep and remember I am still getting benefits from just resting.

Chee-thank you for the link and the encouragement to keep living my life. This is a new concept since I’ve been getting involved with Martin’s work. I’ve had this belief and feeling that I just can’t enjoy my life right now because of insomnia and I get anxious making plans with friends or other moms because “what if I don’t sleep the night before.” Despite this I have had the experience of doing social things after not sleeping and actually feeling better because it shifts my attention to something else.

[Martin Reed]

I just wanted to chime in and share some words of appreciation for all the support and kindness going on here. You are all wonderful people!

Dani, I think you shared a huge insight right at the end of your last post: Despite this I have had the experience of doing social things after not sleeping and actually feeling better because it shifts my attention to something else.

With that in mind, perhaps you might not need to put quite so much effort into making sleep happen — perhaps you might be able to save your energy and use it to do things that are rich and meaningful and will keep you moving toward the kind of life you want to live instead?

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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