[Tano Vieyra]

Hello!

My name is Tano, I’m sure my story is very similar if not identical to everyone else here.
Long story short, it has been almost 2 months since MY CREATIVE AND PROTECTIVE MIND has made it difficult for my body to rest at night. January was hard, some weeks I went 2-3-4 nights with no sleep and I reached levels of exhaustion and anxiety that I’ve never even imagined it was possible.

Thanks to my problem solving personality and detective work I stumbled upon Martin Reed’s Youtube channel. Not going to lie here, I felt like the CBT-I approach wasn’t going to be enough to cure me but in reality I did not have any other option. It was either CBT-I or listen to what the Doctors and my wife suggested, PILLS!!

Opted to put my faith in CBT-I because at the end, it actually makes sense, coming from recovering from panic attacks and anxiety in 2019, CBT and exposure therapy is what helped me then.

Most of January I spent awake, sleeping very little, going to work everyday feeling and looking like a Zombie, parenting 3 kids, believe me when i say all I wanted to do is quit everything but I am glad I didn’t. I knew my mind needed distraction and my body needed to be active.

In February things are starting to click in, I am less afraid, I don’t spend all day thinking about the sleep/anxiety/fatigue cycle and guess what? I am having nights more often where I can actually sleep. I know Recovery does not look linear and I am ok with that. Every step forward is a step closer to recovery, so I want to keep looking forward instead of fearing what tonight might bring.

Things get better, then we will have reminders (nights with no sleep) that will poke at us and test us, I call these training days/nights. That is where growth and recovery happens.

So my heart goes out for everyone that is just starting with this Journey, all I can say is that this post is FOR YOU, keep working on how you react to sleepless nights, keep living your life without altering your routines, move your body and distract your mind (not with the purpose of achieving sleep) but because you desire it.

IT DOES GET BETTER, SLOWLY BUT IT DOES.

MARTIN, thank you for being the Lighthouse while we’re trying to find our way back to shore.

TV

[TaraH]

I can relate to this post. It does get better. I had 6 nights of some to decent sleep. I missed one night and now I have anxiety about it again. I have to remember that it’s not linear and that I am not alone. I will keep working through the course and staying positive. I have the problem solving brain too. Maybe if we never tried to solve it to begin with, we’d be okay because sleep can’t be controlled. My rational mind knows this. I have to keep practicing. You are not alone.

[Tano Vieyra]

Hi Tara,

100% I can relate to what you said. I strongly believe that the secret sauce in here is to not fear sleepless nights and fatigue the following day. If you have, 2 or even 3 nights in a row with very little or no sleep, if you manage to have enough will power to just push through and remain positive, sleep always comes and when you witness that moment then a powerful breakthrough insight unlocks!

Will power is huge, we have to have the will power to not expect certain amount of sleep hours every night, to just accept whatever the night brings and at the same time will power to start thinking less about sleep. If we talk about it less, if we stop trying to control it, if we just focus our attention on living our lives then soon or later our over protective brains eventually will relax.

I am still in the thick of it, but i am working hard on how I react to these nights/days. I think understanding where you are in your process, removing all expectations and being patient is what builds confidence. I’ve proven my brain wrong so many times in the past 2 months and I will continue to push because will power now is more important than validating fears.

Sending good vides Tara

Tano V

[TaraH]

I am in the thick of it too. I’ve been trying to remain positive but when I sit down I’m tired but wired. Just trying to accept the anxiety. I’ve tricked my brain too as I’ve been here before and have gotten through it. So there’s no reason why I can’t get through it again. And I do believe that sleep will win in the end. I will persevere. Sending you good vibes as well. I think I’m going to stop talking about it and give it less attention like you said but it’s difficult. I want to move away from this and I will. Give my attention to the things that matter.

[Leo1969]

I think that prayer could work. I suffer from OCD, I had depression and panic attacks and prayers helped me very much. I had side effects with Clonazepan. Now I am trying herbal medicine.

[TaraH]

Hi Leo.

What herbal medicine are you trying? I take Ashwaghanda, magnesium Glycinate but it’s not working right now. It works when I sleep well. I’m considering calling my doctor for some anti anxiety meds and I’ve been prescription meds free for 6 years.

[abdiradia]

I hope to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. For me, it looks like i have lost faith that i can put self in bed and sleep after few hours… the moment i go to bed my anxiety kicks in i sweat, i have a fear sensation in my chest and i feel very anxious even if i dont think about anything, i started anti-anxiety meds because it has been almost 2 months now and i can’t continue like this plus i am pregnant and i have labor and postpartum to go through. i am more anxious about sleep anxiety than sleep itself … just thinking that i will be laying in bed having anxiety non stop, tossing around and listening to classic music for hours untill 4am destroys me. i have had night where i didnt sleep but i had less anxiety and i felt relaxed, indeed i was not afraid of wakefulness and was willing to repeat it over with no problem, but it’s the anxiety that is the problem not wakefulness … the trick is to be able to tolerate and live through anxiety which is almost impossible for those who really experience anxiety with physical symptoms, it is horrible.

[Packer Fan]

I am finishing the end of week #2. I have not been able to sleep. I’m doing everything I’m suppose to, but still struggling. I’m about to start week #3. Does this seem right? What happens is i will start to fall asleep, then I shake, waking up. Any help would be appreciated.

[Packer Fan]

Tani, I just completed week #2. I am doing everything Martin asks, including the AWAKE exercise several times every night. I am still really struggling!! I go to bed went the pressure is high only to bewide awake. I listen to spiratual podcasts till I’m sleepy, try to rest, still awake. Is this normal after week 2#? I need hope. Thanks

[Tano Vieyra]

Hello,

I feel you. Honestly I am no expert at this craft, we are all learning as we go here, things I can tell you though is that expecting it to work or keeping track of the weeks is something that can make it harder for you to get better. I relate to it, we all have wished and hoped that once we start following instructions things start shifting but it does not work that way.

This takes time, and truly, it is not a pony ride. This is hard work because you’ll have to find the strength to face the fear of wakefulness, experience exhaustion daily while practicing patience.

Only your brain knows when, but the faster you stop fearing and thinking about this all day long, the faster your brain will re-adjust.

Acceptance plays a big roll here, instead of getting frustrated because it has been 2-3 weeks since you started working on your mindset and haven’t seen any results try to focus on feeling proud that you have been doing your best for 2-3 weeks and say, i will keep putting in the work for as long as i need to because i know every day, good or bad, its taking me closer to recovery.

If so many people have been able to recover, why cant we? What is it that they did that we aren’t doing yet? You should be able to come up with the answer….

[Rozey]

Thank you for sharing this!!

[Author]

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