[Edgar]

Hi, all,

Just checking in for my bi-monthly no-sleep-night report. Seriously, it seems like every two months, give or take, I have a complete zero sleep night, without a minute of rest.
Why? Because I had no alcohol in the house, because I wanted, once again, to try to ditch my bad habit of drinking myself to sleep.

But be it alcohol, sleeping pills or anti anxiety medication – how do you resist taking them every night? When the doctor says “Take as needed”, don’t you feel like you need them every time.

I can only avoid pills/alcohol if there aren’t any in the house. And now, being exhausted, I’m not sure I did the right thing. What’s more – what do I do tonight? I know what I SHOULD do (try again), but the thing is if I get some booze I have an almost guaranteed sleep. If I don’t, I have a guaranteed anxiety.
I think I will try to find some middle ground, I will get a beer and not hard liquor. I just wish that life would give me a push in the right direction when I decide to get my sleep back in order. But no, every time I try, it stops me right in my tracks. Ugh.
Hang in there everybody, and Happy Easter to all who celebrate.

• This topic was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Edgar.

[Martin Reed]

First of all, if you have only one night of no sleep every two months or so, I think you might be doing a lot better than perhaps you give yourself credit for!

Since you feel as though you are still struggling, are any of those things you mentioned really “quick” or “fixes”?

Remember that after a night of absolutely no sleep, sleep drive will be really high — and that makes sleep increasingly likely. Sleep becomes more likely after difficult nights, not less likely (even though the brain tries to convince us otherwise).

I wonder if there might be anything you can do during the day, especially after difficult nights, to improve the quality of your days, lower fatigue a little, and help shift some focus/attention away from sleep?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Jaran]

Hello @Edgar. Your story resonated with me. I too struggled with pills and alcohol at night. Good for you for taking steps to get it out of the house. I know the temptation can just be overwhelming.

I struggled with the easy “fix” of drinking myself into sleep (aka passing out), often on top of sleeping pills, and it got worse in the last year. One night when the tug-of-war was raging in my head, I saw crystal-clear that these really weren’t “fixes” at all. They were making me sicker, and if I chose to continue down this path I would either A) be an alcoholic or B) have a potentially fatal overdose.

I felt like I didn’t even know how to sleep anymore. That was terrifying! But I thought, there just HAS to be a better way. So I started researching.

There is help Edgar, and there is a much better way to deal with with insomnia. If you’ve not already done Martin’s free 2 week course, I highly recommend it. It’s kindof an intro to CBTI, and make no mistake, CBTI will take effort, commitment, and a real desire to find a true, long-term fix. But it’s much, much better than the alternative!

You may also want to look into getting an online or in-person sleep coach or therapist for a lot more personal support. Many people have found real help by working with Martin (you can see interviews on the podcasts, also under the Resources menu.) Or maybe there is a therapist near you who can help?

I started this change only 6 weeks ago, and it’s so much better. Best wishes Edgar. You can do this!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Jaran.

[Chee2308]

Hello Edgar!
The best quick fix is do nothing. Challenge your deeply- ingrained notion that “you absolutely MUST sleep, by hook or by crook”. It’s perhaps your unwillingness or even stubborness to explore the other side that you can still do well despite sleeping less
and coupled with your impatience and frustration why results aren’t coming quick enough that you continue to run into trouble for years now?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Chee2308.

[Edgar]

Sorry for not replying, such a d*** move on my part, and so often seen here, people get solid advice and don’t even say thanks.
So first of all – thank you. I just didn’t want to go back to the forum after getting some sleep the next night.

So, I slept well that other night, after posting this, but I must admit it was again with the help of alcohol. I just can’t take two zero sleep nights in a row. Being unable to take a nap, that would be too much for me to bear. I’ve slept fine since then, but always waking up somewhere in the middle of the night, getting out of bed, taking a few shots and a little V to get that oozy feeling, and then falling asleep for the second part of the night.

@Martin, you’re right, it is certainly not a fix. It is like putting a band-aid on broken arm. You’re right about me probably being able to fall asleep the next night without alcohol, but it was a gamble I wasn’t strong enough to take. In the past I felt even bigger anxiety trying to fall asleep the next night, after a previous completely sleepless one, and I always would fall asleep at least a little, and it would comfort me. Then the following nights would get better and better, until the next bout. But since my insomnia shifted from bouts of onset insomnia to permanent maintenance insomnia, things changed, the old rules just don’t apply anymore, so I cheat. But it is no way to live, I know.

“I wonder if there might be anything you can do during the day, especially after difficult nights, to improve the quality of your days, lower fatigue a little, and help shift some focus/attention away from sleep?”
– I already don’t nap, even if I would like to, but I have included bike riding into my daily routine, so we will see if it helps anything in the long run. I am not quitting alcohol until June, when I will go on a longer holiday and use it to try quitting.

@ Jaran , if you’re still here, I wonder if you’re from the Balkans, like me. 🙂
“One night when the tug-of-war was raging in my head, I saw crystal-clear that these really weren’t “fixes” at all. They were making me sicker, and if I chose to continue down this path I would either A) be an alcoholic or B) have a potentially fatal overdose.”

I use alcohol + pills combo, too, not just alcohol They’re in small doses for now, but I too fear what you feared, and you’re right. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic since I don’t need a drop of booze ever during the day, nor do I like it, I see it mainly as a sleep fix in the night. A small bottle off gin lasts more than a week, I take a few sips combined with a small bite of Valium. But it is not a solution, I know. I am just so tired of suffering, and I need to be able to function the next day. I will try to stop again soon, when I get work out of the equation, and see if it works. I have to get back to the swing of things, but I doubt I will ever get back to occassional bouts of insomnia, I think it’s here to stay as a permanent, everyday condition, but I can at least try to improve it in that regard.

@ Chee – I did used to do nothing, in fact that was my motto – live like you don’t have it. And coupled with a little coffee, it worked for a long while. I went to drinks, I socialized, I went out, in short I pretended to be OK and most of the time was OK.
Somewhere around when I entered my 30ies, or a little before that, it’s like that routine just stopped working. The insomnia shifted into everyday early morning awakening, and I still fought to “do nothing” for almost a year before finally giving up and trying V. I just couldn’t pretend that I am not exhausted, it was clearly visible, I struggled to maintain a normal conversation, so I had to resort to something.
However, you’re right in that I’m conditioning myself more and more. First it was just a little V, then it had to be some melatonin and some V, now it’s melatonin, V and a little alcohol, I see the pattern and I know it has to stop. I will try to see if I can go back to the way things were, and if it doesn’t work, I guess I will finally go to the doctor and look for something less dangerous.
I am excited and I am looking forward to trying to go back to the way things were.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Edgar.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Edgar.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Edgar.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Edgar.

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