[sleepy_sarah]

I’m 40 years old and have had chronic insomnia for 15 years. It started when i graduated college and moved across the country to start my career. It started slow, and then progressed to the point where it’s now this dark shadow following me everywhere I go, and influences every decision to make. I no longer travel or go out of town for a night or two, let guys sleep over or sleep over at anyone’s house, even close friends. I think about sleep and not being able to sleep constantly, but especially at night, to the point where i can’t hang out with people past 8 or 8:30 because i have to start my sleep routine. Insomnia has hijacked sarah and i am a shell of who i used to be. i’ve tried so many anti-anxiety meds and antidepressants, as well as almost all prescription and non prescription medications, homeopathy, 2 rounds of CBT-i, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, regular talk therapy, a sleep study, etc. I had or have other health issues as well…….a progressive nerve disease, breast cancer, and migraines, yet if i had to choose one to cure, it would be my insomnia. I’m hoping to find people to connect with and support each other.

[Martin Reed]

Hello Sarah, and welcome to the forum.

Your story is very familiar and certainly not unusual. You exhibit almost all of the classic perpetuating factors behind insomnia and this helps explain why you have been struggling for so long.

Strategies such as no longer traveling, no longer going out of town, no longer sleeping elsewhere (or allowing anyone to sleep at your place), obsessively thinking about sleep, and having an excessively rigid sleep routine (that doesn’t even help all that much), are all behaviors that — while understandable — are actually making it harder for you to get your sleep back on track.

You mentioned that you have tried two rounds of CBT-I in the past, without success. Can you tell us a bit more about that? What kind of strategies and techniques did you implement, and why do you think they didn’t work for you?

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[sleepy_sarah]

So I tried CBT-I and reframing my thoughts works ok. Each time it resets my relationship with sleep while i’m doing the CBT-I. However, i can’t stick to the sleep restriction because without sleep, i get too many migraines and i can barely walk (i already wear braces on my legs) and have very weak hands and arms due to my progressive neuromuscular disease. i also work with children who have autism, adhd, learning disabilities in a very physically demanding way (i’m a pediatric occupational therapist…..work in a gym setting with climbing /swinging/jumping equipment) and in order to have the patience, and be able to keep the kids safe in the gym environment, i have to have a good night’s sleep. I also feel extremely depressed when i don’t get enough sleep…….even suicidal thoughts. So, it’s complicated. Recently i’ve found that ACT-I seems to be a better fit for me. Rather than sleep restriction/consolidation, i’m working on accepting and practicing mindfulness techniques to rest and relax in bed. this seems to be helping my nighttime anxiety. I actually get a good amount of sleep, just not restorative sleep (probably due to long term benzo use, which i’m going to try to wean off of). I think my case is very complicated, but hopefully there will be an answer in my near future.

[Author]

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