[RestlessandSad]

I am 21, male, in college, active, but a little fat right now (natural bodybuilder, currently have a muscular dad-bod)

Randomly in early October (I think the 8th was the first day), during my classic lifelong 11pm to 7am perfect sleep, I woke up at 3am.

Huh, weird, but probably just due to my cold, I thought, I probably ate carbs too close to bed, I thought.

And this just kept happening again, and again, and again, sometimes twice a night! My cold had gone, and I was practicing good sleep hygiene and not eating close to bed.

This has caused me a lot of mental anguish as sometimes I don’t go back to sleep at all, and sometimes it takes a while, both due to my anxiety over the situation. I was prescribed trazadone November 18th and soon after a few days I noticed I was actually sleeping through the night! I thought I was cured! I forgot all about it!

Then starting December 1st I have been awakening once again, although recently it’s been closer to 5am, rather than 3am as it was before, though the time really is random, I’ve had rare nights so bad I wake up after only 2 hours of sleep, ugh!

I’m freaking out, I don’t know what to do, I go through weeks at a time where I genuinely feel like I have dementia, If I could quickly go back to sleep (which was the case for a bit) this would be so much more manageable, but I really do want to go back to normal, this is really upended my life and I really got to fix this before I have to go back to college 🙁

(so I have 5 weeks to fix this)

My two theories:

1. a few bad nights in a row due to the cold/sugar before bed have led me to become neurotic and obsessive about my sleep, making this a self-fluffing cycle.

2. The weight I’ve gained, the only changed factor has exacerbated my sleep apnea. (I am a *very* heavy snorer and as far as I know always have been) I have done an at-home sleep study and I have mild OSA. I will be going in for a more extensive lab one however.

Or it’s a combination of the two.

I’m desperate, as I have been getting 5 hours of sleep for the past week and so am getting panicked and a little delusional. I don’t want this to be my new life, and I also don’t want to be on meds to sleep at this age.

Please if anyone has gone through this, share your experience!

[RestlessandSad]

I forgot to mention, would it be best to undergo CBTi or simply not do anything at this point? Its been on and off for 2 months yes, but I notice it only gets really bad when I dive deep into the world of chronic insomnia and make myself anxious about it.

During that one and a half week or so, I felt fine! I felt good! And I dont know if it actually was the trazadone or me truely forgetting about my insomnia.

Because when I wake up in the middle of the night, obviously first I should not panic, second should I like get out of bed If I cant go right back to sleep and do something like make tea and journal? I hope this doesn’t count as a “preventative measure” which can worsen insomnia, but Ive also heard its not good to lay if bed sleepless.

[RestlessandSad]

Hopeful Update:

Implementing simple techniques such as a strict time window of 8 hours (11 to 7 as usual) and HIDING ALL CLOCKS, I put my alarm in my closet, so I hear it but don’t see it. I also swiftly get out of bed if I feel antsy.

Even over just 2 days my sleep is improving, no more nightly panic sessions after checking the time, and my sleep anxiety is also very quickly going away.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night, tried to fall right back asleep but felt arousal so left my bed. At first, I was confused because I felt like I had slept the whole night but It was way too dark out still so I was nowhere near my alarm time, but soon the tiredness hit me when the arousal went down. I then got back in bed after some time using the bathroom/laying on the couch in another room writing down my dreams, and I fell back to sleep!

I would estimate I was up (time in bed + out of bed) for maybe an hour based on how I feel this morning, which is still 7 hours! Not ideal but the best sleep I’ve had for a whole week. Waking up to the sound of my alarm rather than waiting for it awake in bed was sooo good..

I’m still not sure physically/psychologically is going on. Like I said I’m very certain I was all but sleeping through the night 2 weeks ago, so I know I’m still anatomically capable of it. (on 100mg trazadone which last few days I’m tapering down to 50mg) But honestly idk if it was the trazadone that “cured” me because my insomnia flaired up again even as I’m still on it.

I’m aware waking up is natural and part of sleep cycles, have I merely conditioned my brain to be hypervigilant of these wakeups? I still don’t know why when I wake up at night, I’m conscious for it, rather than waking up, rolling over, and going back to sleep only to forget about it, at least for one of these wakeups. I swear I used to sleep like a log for 8 hours.

My apnea theory too seems suspect to me as well as I never wake up with headaches or gasping, I was simply awake, lying in bed. So I don’t know if its my mild OSA, and it would seem weird for mild OSA to wake you up at the exact same time (when I was still looking a clocks)

So all in all, Id say I’m still making progress, I hope that by simply not caring about nightly wakeups, and accepting them, I can re-train my subconscious mind to not trigger my arousal system when I wake up and see a black dark window.

• This reply was modified 1 weeks, 6 days ago by RestlessandSad.

[Martin Reed]

If you feel there’s a medical explanation for what you are experiencing, I would recommend speaking with a doctor. Having said that, I don’t see anything unusual in your posts other than the typical behaviors and experiences associated with the insomnia struggle.

Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep — and awakenings often become problematic only when we label them as such. The more we try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more we try to get rid of wakefulness, the more we try to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings associated with insomnia, the more we are likely to struggle with all this stuff.

It sounds as though you are learning from your experience and you are taking action to change how you approach sleep and respond to being awake. You are clearly a strong advocate for yourself!

Ups and downs are a normal part of the journey — what matters is the workability of your actions because for as long as you try to control what is out of your control (like sleep, what you think, how you feel) you might be setting yourself up for some ongoing struggle.

For as long as you choose actions that move you away from an ongoing struggle, you are more likely to be moving closer to where you want to be.

I hope there’s something useful here!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts