[JustBeckyIt]

Hi everyone!
I’m excited to be here. I’ve been educating myself about sleep and the issues I’m having with it. I have learned a lot but find I need more support and ideas to help me move forward.I guess when I started I felt I just needed to educate myself and then boom sleep would return. Now I see this is a real journey and even though my rational brain understands and gets it- my emotional brain is still reluctant to follow. It still wants to control sleep and finds tricky ways to do that.

[Scott]

Hello, @JustBeckyIt!

Hopefully you’re finding the information and resources on this site helpful. What is the biggest challenge you face with sleep? Our mind does an excellent job of alerting us about possible fight or flight situations but it’s up to us to determine how we react to those thoughts. What do you believe your mind is doing to find tricky ways to control sleep?

Scott J

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[JustBeckyIt]

Hi Scott!
Thank you for your reply.
My biggest challenge is acceptance and not trying to control sleep. My insomnia has taken on different characteristics this past year that I have been struggling with it. Right now, I tend to fall asleep but will wake up approximately 1 hour later, and immediately have the thought “uhoh, I’m awake. What if I can’t fall back asleep.” Which of course, unless I’m exhausted, the negative thoughts tend to follow and the downward spiral begins. I’ve learned a lot about distancing myself from these negative thoughts, which is so helpful. Learning that this is a process, and to just keep at it even when I struggle has been hard to accept.
I find When I do have a great night of sleep, my mind looks at what I did the night before and just wants to ritualize it. But I know, I can’t control sleep and what works one night may not work the next. I know the key is acceptance of whatever the night brings, and truly being ok with what happens. I know this, but the fear is still there

[JustBeckyIt]

I also have an issue with grading my sleep. If it’s not “perfect” then I tend to focus more on it during the day. Trying to remember there is no such thing as “perfect” sleep. Ugh

[Scott]

You bring up some very good points about our thoughts and how they seem to take control. As you mentioned, we have much less control over our thoughts and feelings than we would like, however, we do have A LOT of control over our actions toward them. The thought itself really isn’t the problem, is it? It’s when we decide to fight, avoid or control it that causes us to not feel good and it’s that struggle that perpetuates our sleep issue. When you have those unhelpful thoughts, what if you greeted it differently instead of wanting it to go away or putting up a fight against it. Greet it with, “Thank you, mind!” and return to what you were doing when it arrived or focus on your breath for a few seconds and allow it to exist for as long as it wants to hang out. Using this technique may not work the first time or the first several times but continue to practice it. It’s like riding a bike – the more you practice, the easier it becomes. Thoughts beg for our attention, but it’s that very attention that we give it that fuels and intensifies it. You can’t prevent thoughts from arriving but just because they appear doesn’t mean we have to give them attention.

As you stated, what’s considered “perfect sleep”? Just because you had a poor night of sleep shouldn’t determine the type of day you’ll have. For example, what if you got 0 hours of sleep tonight but woke up to news that you won a $10 million lottery? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that your day is probably going to be pretty good, right?

Hope that helps,
Scott J

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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