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I think we're doing a great job of getting to know each other – so I'd like to keep the momentum going.
Are you able to look back at a specific moment of your life and think to yourself that it was a life changing moment? Perhaps you can recall more than one life changing moment (or none at all). Please share in this discussion topic, and let's get to know each other even better.
For me, deciding to quit a well paying job in the UK at the age of 21 to live and work in Australia for a year was life changing. To run the London Marathon in 2007 was life changing. Deciding to leave the UK permanently to live in America and marry Natalie was life changing.
These were all positive life changing events.
Not all life changing events are positive, though. Some are negative. For me, these would be the very unamicable divorce of my mother and step-father when I was 15. My mother remarried when I was 18. Her husband died at the age of 49 last summer, leaving behind my 10 year old sister. That was very difficult – especially as he died the day before my wife's birthday.
I think even the negative events in our lives can sometimes turn into positives, though. They change us and give us new perspectives on life. That isn't always a bad thing.
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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Can only add to this meeting Sue was life changing, I was a confirmed bachelor up to that point, and the birth of my daughter was the most moving thing that could have happened ….. but the story goes on.
Life changing events…Let's see. My children's births were probably the most significant. 4:37 p.m. Feb 15th and 1:37 a.m. June 2nd were the most precious moments of my lifetime.
In 2007, I was contacted via letter by a man named Thomas in Germany. As it turns out, when my late father was stationed over there he had an affair with a German girl and Thomas was born of it. Never did I think I'd gain siblings this late in life, and my uncle seems to think there may be another one wandering around Waxahachie, TX, so he's doing some digging. It makes me wonder how many half brothers I may have in this world. lol
living in Singapore was life changing I met some really great people that I still keep in contact with today. Getting married was definitely life changing and having my son was the most incredible experience I have ever had.My most life changing event was when we decided adopted a baby daughter just when my son was 9 months.It was a now or never moment lucky for me my husband had taken a year of work to help me raise them.We couldn't imagine our life without her she is everyone's joy.
I think anyone that's a parent will find it impossible to declare that to be a life changing experience!
Wow, Lindsay – that must have been a shock. How did you react to the news? Did you reply? Was your Dad alive to speak to about the letter (and the story it contained)? My real Dad left when I was about 2 years old. Never heard from him again, apart from in 2008 when he sent me a message on a site similar to Facebook in the UK. To this day, I haven't responded. Like you, I wonder if I have any other siblings out there!
emmaree – I would love to visit Singapore; you are quite the world citizen, aren't ya?!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
'Martin' wrote on '09:I think anyone that's a parent will find it impossible to declare that to be a life changing experience!
Wow, Lindsay – that must have been a shock. How did you react to the news? Did you reply? Was your Dad alive to speak to about the letter (and the story it contained)? My real Dad left when I was about 2 years old. Never heard from him again, apart from in 2008 when he sent me a message on a site similar to Facebook in the UK. To this day, I haven't responded. Like you, I wonder if I have any other siblings out there!
emmaree – I would love to visit Singapore; you are quite the world citizen, aren't ya?!
Well, it was funny actually, because my husband called me at work to tell me I'd gotten a letter from international postage. He thouhgt it was some fantastical lover I'd met in our time there. lol
It was very strange, to say the least. I did email him, and we've been in contact ever since. I felt bad, initially, because he had this vision of our dad as a strapping caregiver, and one who was a hero even though he'd had to leave Thomas behind. Thomas blamed his mother for not wanting to travel back with him. My sister and I (she's 13 yrs my senior and knew dad more than I did) had to break it to him gently that dad was an alcoholic, and also never managed to hold a real job after he left when I was 2. I only met him once. We've accepted Thomas as our family member, and though he wants to get DNA testing to prove it we've discouraged him. Our family is not exactly rolling in money, so the only thing for him to gain is family. All in all, it's been a good experience, and also enlightening. Dad never told anyone, including Grandma Poe. That was awkward. lol
Do you think you'll ever respond to his message?
I don't know if I'll ever respond. In a way, I resent him for even sending the message – I guess I used the fact he never tried to get in touch to give me a reason not to bother trying to find him. The way I see it, he decided to leave and not try to get in touch – and things were simple. Him sending me that message kind of put the ball back into my court.
It's confusing, that's for sure. I got that message about 2 years ago and haven't responded. At the end of the day, that man is just a stranger – he could be any man on the street. I now live in a different country. It sounds heartless, but do I really need to know this person?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I understand your point of view, and it doesn't sound heartless at all. I saw Dad when I was ten and only because I sent him a letter. I was curious, and the curiosity only led to broken dreams.
Eh, sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. I do wish I had known about Thomas and any others out there before he died, though.
I think the biggest moment in my life wasn't life changing, but when realization set in that I was not a victim….
I'd not seen my father for 2-3 years and mom was going through a divorce, I walked into the entrance and he was there, and he tried pushing me into a corner, but I stood still (I'd gained a few pounds!) stared him in the eye and as much as I know it was wrong headbutted him.
I have never considered myself one of his victims since….and that was over 10 years ago.
My life changing moments I haven't wanted to say but I will now, I'm ready I guess.
Living with the inability to cry for another human being from a child to my late teen years was hard. I've had a friend die in my arms and whisper I've always loved you in my ear, and kiss me before she died.
I didn't feel anything, until I stopped trying to live for other people, and decided to live for myself, I cried. I cried so hard I thought I could fill an ocean, everything to ever bother me came out. I was diagnosed with Schizoid personality disorder last year.
Schizoid personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, and emotional coldness. There is increased prevalence of the disorder in families with schizophrenia. SPD is not the same as schizophrenia, although they share some similar characteristics such as detachment or flattened affect.
My psychiatrist tried to put me on meds but I won't I have worked hard I now am not so emotionally cold and still struggle in some situations to be able to be what people call normal. It taught me that I am not all that different and shouldn't be afraid to open up to others.
Living three or so years with a mother who had Schizophrenia and split personalities and the doctors never helped, they brushed it off as mild life crisis or menopause, being stabbed, nearly suffocated and drowned, two knives heated up placed on my face, beaten, it killed. I had always struggled with insomnia, this made it worse.
And when the time came to move on I couldn't, my family were idiots(my mother and her side) they blamed me, and my blunt nature and that I was cynical, that I caused my mother to be this way, that hurt.
My mother and her family betraying me telling the psychiatrist that I did things that I never did. It broke my trust in women, and left a scar on my heart.
My mothers aunt(who adopted her when my real mothers mom died) is a lesbian, and hates men, I am a man and it was my fault, I left home, lived with a friend and just wandered with a broken heart(just after learning how to love people) I didn't know what to do.
I turned to drugs, Opium with Absinthe, I went down a rabbit hole and didn't come up for a year, when I did it was a dream I had of a friend getting into a car accident, I quit everything, and rushed to them and they did in fact get into a car accident, broken leg and cracked skull, brain damage.
I stayed by their side for three days, the term visiting hours didn't apply to me, I wasn't moving. They recovered, brain damage made her lose the ability to move her left arm. She can now(years of physio).
I returned home and hugged my parents, forgave them, and when I was in school again a little girl around fourteen was crying and being picked on I thought nothing of it and walked by and stopped thinking about everything I've been through, I turned around and sat down and asked her what was wrong and she said you wouldn't understand and I said try me!
She explained her situation and to my amazement she was going through what I did her mother has Schizophrenia and was beating her and she was getting blamed.
I told her about my mother and she hugged me crying, I just put my hand on her head and held her tight and took her to the guidance office and got her to speak to the counselors and I held her hand while doing so, her mother got help and they patched everything up, she got infatuated with me and asked me out, I had just gotten out of a relationship and I was near eighteen and she was 15, I couldn't it would be wrong.
I did take her out as a friend and gave her a great time, she moved away and is now wanting to become a counselor, she reecently told me she would of killed herself if I didnt go out of my way for her.
What I learned from everything my mother put me through was, everyone has problems and no matter who it is, a best friend or a complete stranger, everyone needs help. So next time you see someone with hollow eyes, and on the verge of breaking, say hello in there, you never know what you may save.
The last life altering moment was my leg problem.
For years I suffered from chronic pain that wasn't enough to make me cry but enough to be a bother. It got worse as I grew, it went from chronic to every month a couple of times a month it hurt but on a scale of 1-10 a 7-10. I sought help around 18 and got a “growing pain” answer, but it got worse, and I seen more doctors, x-rays, mri's contrast mri's, blood work, ct scans, you name it I got it.
No one could give me an answer, I tried meds but it just didn't feel proper.
I then met Jessica my now girlfriend who suffers from Complex Regional Pain Syndrome which is a chronic progressive disease characterized by severe pain, swelling and changes in the skin. The International Association for the Study of Pain has divided CRPS into two types based on the presence of nerve lesion following the injury.
We talked for less than a year and it became easily noticeable that there was something between us, we formed a bong through pain and understanding and coping with our pain and being there at the drop of a button when one of us needed the other.
She confessed her love for me and I thought nothing of it at first, then I to realized it myself.
Living with my leg problem was always hard but it go worse and worse, I gained weight, I went from 130 to 200, I wouldn't leave the house of fear of the pain coming while out in public.
I just got the courage to buy a cane, Jessica gave me that courage and even though I do hate the looks and people calling me House, it's better than not walking at all.
I found out that the reason behind my leg problem is from when I was a child I jumped 27 stairs and landed on my behind. The doctors never told me why it never showed up on an x-ray and other scans but my lower back is damaged, the bones, muscles and nerves, and it'll get worse.
It's a lot similar to my father, who has crushed disks and whatnot.
The surgery to fix his and mine is about an 80% chance of being paralyzed permanantely. I won't do that, the doctor asked me how I'll deal with my pain as it gets worse and it will, and I said I don't need pills, or some surgery, what I needed was an answer and an understanding of what is wrong with me.
When the pain gets to much to bear, I'll figure something out, until then I'm not worrying.
This taught me that I am not alone in my pain, and surely not 100% crippled, it opened a lot of doors as it shut lots too, it brought an amazing girl into my life, and even if her and I don't work out and we can not get to each other (she lives in Australia) I still will look at this as something positive.
My life taught me a lot, and it'll teach me so much more, I'm 20 years old, I feel 40, but I got a good head on my shoulders, some amazing close friends, a girlfriend who's amazing, and the aussie accent is a plus(<3) I struggle everyday but at the end of it even if I do feel terrible, at least I tried to make that day amazing, I can't always feel great, some days I struggle more than other days, but I'm trying and doing it my own way.
I'm proud of my life and the way I chose to live it.
I can think of really definitive moments in my life but to be really honest to boil them down in to digestible paragraphs would be really hard. Certain moments or people have intense meaning or significance to me because of the thoughts, feelings etc that I had.
I guess recently the things that stand out are the death of my father last April. He died of sudden heart failure, unexpected and instentanous when he got up to go the bathroom one night. It's probably the single most devastating thing to happen to me but also has in the long run helped me to further refine and define my own ideas, sense of identity and priority and to overcome some massive challenges.
Last October I (narrowly) survived a very serious breakdown. Very difficult, very painful and made worse by the actions of someone else, but it also proved my own strength of character and has led me to form a relationship a million times better.
Franky, I've always thought that you've been through enough to cover a hundred lives already. Your experiences are nothing short of incredible, and I have a huge amount of respect for you. Thank you for sharing.
Ruth – when someone dies suddenly I think it makes it all the more difficult. The same happened with my step father last summer.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It was a massive shock, I think I'm only just reaching the point now where it seems like reality.
'Martin' wrote on '16:Franky, I've always thought that you've been through enough to cover a hundred lives already. Your experiences are nothing short of incredible, and I have a huge amount of respect for you. Thank you for sharing.
Ruth – when someone dies suddenly I think it makes it all the more difficult. The same happened with my step father last summer.
Oh Martin you just warmed my heart tenfold!
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