[sarahkay]

Your stories are all so amazing. I have tears in my eyes!

I guess mine are as follows:

Meeting my husband in Italy in 2001 and marrying him in 2003.

Finding out we are both infertile was a biggy and one that still hurts now.

Adopting our two amazing children and becoming a mummy.

Having depression finally diagnosed and beginning treatment.

[Caers]

There are a lot, and some too personal to relate, of course, both good and bad. A few:

The first time I saw someone shot.

The first time a good friend died from gang violence. The second time, the third time… We lived in a gang area in the states when I was a teenager. It was traumatic.

Finding out I was pregnant even though I was on birth control. I was probably almost an alcoholic by that time (at 18 nonetheless, and had only been married for a little over two months too). Solved that problem well enough and I rarely drink at all any more. I tell my children they saved my life, and this is more true than they realise.

Having a stress breakdown/majour depressive episode and finally moving back to England, to live with my mum. I couldn't get out of bed for more than an hour or so for over six months, and even now, three years later, I haven't fully recovered, and my doctors are still advising me to not go back to work for the foreseeable future. On the one hand I get to stay at home with my kids (we're in our own house now, I have managed to progress that far), but on the other hand, even though England is magnificently wonderful for supporting me and them and for giving us a house five seconds walk from my mum, brother and sister, it's still not a lot of money to pay bills with.

But I'll take it. As opposed to being back in America, a single parent, working 60+ hours a week in a medical office, six days a week, sleeping a few hours a night, seeing my kids a couple hours a day because of my schedule, dealing with an autistic child (higher functioning, but still hellish to try and deal with when you don't know what's wrong with him).

Hm. Let's end on a positive? Having my son diagnosed with ASD last year (finally, as he's just turned 14). Now, finally, he can have the support he needs at school.

[Hedwig]

I have been very moved by reading the stories written here…I'm afraid mine isn't as dramatic as some…

I've always said that my parents divorce when I was 7 played a major part in the make up of my person, my Mother had the affair and left my father before returning home and asking him to leave, there were certain things that I decided then, morals so to speak of that I would uphold and use and adhere to, I didn't see my father for over 25 years following the divorce because my Mother arranged things that way, although she told us different and we (we, being me and my 3 sisters) were officially adopted by my Step-Father. I then had an additional sister born bringing the total to 4…

When my mother decided to again get divorced when I was 21, this time when she had an affair with someone younger than myself, my morals were only reinforced…and afetr the fallout I didn't speak to my mother for nearly 7 years after that one…

When I was 22 my partner of the time fell pregnant with twins, we were very happy, they were not planned but we'd been together for five years and twins, well they tended to run in my family (I have twin sisters), unfortuately she miscarried at 5 mths and despite many months of trying to overcome the loss, we sadly broke up…no-one was really to blame, it was all very sad…however we still remain friends to this day, over 20 years later…it is only now though after the break down of my long time relationship (16yrs) and due to complications where she was unable to have children the fact I do not have children of my own seems significant…not that I'm bitter or anything…

The break up of my last long term relationship was very hard for me…I stayed with my partner for over 16 years, because I loved her and despite her not wanting to get married I loved her very much, she had a drink problem and also became violent in drink, this was due to previous relationship problems (abusive husband, etc) and also the death of her mother whom she was very close to who died after us being together for about 9 years…for years I dealt with both physical and mental abuse and all the things that went with it, I had to sever all ties with my family and friends….stuff I never told anyone about whilst in the relationship, I never once retaliated, being the man I thought and still do think it's wrong to strike a woman…and so I just took it…until she had the affair and that was something I couldn't take…as I said I had certain morals….stupid I know…

Following that I had a breakdown and spiralled into a deep pit of depression, suffer from anxiey attacks, relationship trust issues and now other more physical problems which I still struggle to come to terms with and I slip backwards quite often…but I keep trying…

I was made redundant from my job which just seemed like the icing on the cake at the time…and since then life seems to be much harder than I remember it as I'm sure many of you can relate to…

It's not all negative though….

Following my breakup, I got my family back, yes even my mother, with whom my relationship with had been strained to say the least….and we are all very close (except the one sister on some occasions, complicated I know, 😉 ), I contacted my old friends and made lots of new ones, both home and overseas, the wonders of the internet 😀 …and through my sisters I have 11 beautiful nieces and nephews, whom I adore and have them think I'm the best Uncle in the world… 😛

Also, about three years ago I was contacted by a young lady who informed me that she was my sister, my father had remarried and she was born…this brought my tally of sisters up to 5, enought for any man, 😮 …. through her I have re-established contact with my father and his family and she has become a part of our family all except my one sister, from the marriage of my Mum and Step Dad, she refuses to have anything to do with her, which as you can magine causes it's own complications…

Although I'm still single and have problems, I like where I am at the moment….my life may be not perfect, but it's not as bad as some others are….so I try to remain positive and forever optimistic…and who knows what the next chapter will bring…

[Author]

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