[Dad]

I’m wondering if anyone here could offer some advice, as this insomnia has me feeling lost and scared. I haven’t been sleeping well (3-5 hours per night) for the last 5 nights, then last night I got no sleep at all. It has me feeling very down, anxious, helpless, and, to be honest scared. I’ve had periods of trouble sleeping before in my life, including a significant one a few years ago. But this time it has me really confused.

It’s doubly difficult for me because I’m a dad of 2 young kids and the lack of sleep makes taking care of a family and working very difficult. I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle where I know I need to get sleep but the anxiety over not sleeping is making me HYPER anxious about all things involving sleep.

I do have undiagnosed issues with anxiety and OCD that are always constantly in the background and I’ve coped with them. But these recent bad nights of sleep have caused the anxiety to snowball as I start panicking and worrying about insomnia and whether I’ll be alive to take care of my kids. I spend so much time worrying about how I can sleep well and coming up with ridiculous rituals to try to induce a restful night of sleep, but it seems like I have no control over this now!

It’s so frustrating. Despite the previous bad nights of sleep I felt good yesterday. But every time I got comfortable in bed and got close to dozing off my mind would snap back into awake mode. Often times my body would jerk or my breathing would stop briefly and I’d be jolted awake just as I was on the very edge of falling asleep, then I’d be back at square one trying to relax again and not panic. This lasted all night long. Has this happened to anyone?

Has my body lost it’s ability to sleep? Why is it resisting me? I’m scared it might be some rare disease and I could die from not sleeping again. Or that maybe my body no longer knows how to enter sleep or breath right during sleep. Can someone help me out here? Will I survive this? I can’t endure the thought of my family losing me.

[Deb]

Hi Dad – don’t worry, there’s a cure for insomnia, although I know how it is feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I had insomnia for 9 months and it was awful. But I’ve recovered now, so you’re not gonna die! From this website Martin Reed teaches people how to practice cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) which can cure insomnia. Also, there’s one more therapy based on something called acceptance, commitment therapy (ACT) which works as well.

These two books can help you:

“The Effortless Sleep Method” by Sasha Stephens
“The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows

In the meantime, check out some of the threads where people are getting better.

[Dad]

Hi Deb, thanks for your reply. I am waiting on an appointment I have next week with a CBT therapist. But it seems so far away with these sleepless nights.

Do you or anyone else have any information about whether the act of resting the eyes and body at night when you’re trying to sleep at least has some restorative benefit on the body even though you’re not able to fall asleep?

What makes me so anxious and fearful about this is that it seems so out of my control.

[Deb]

In The Sleep Book, Dr. Guy talks about how just resting at night in bed instead of struggling to fall asleep while tossing and turning, will help you have more energy the next day.

[Martin Reed]

How are you getting on @Dad?

Please be reassured that your body has not lost its ability to sleep! Sleep is a core biological function that the body will always be able to do.

Sometimes worry and anxiety can suspend sleep but, just as the body takes over and makes us breathe when we hold our breath for too long, the body will make us sleep when we go without sleep for long enough.

Did you see the CBT therapist? Were they trained specifically in CBT for insomnia?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Dad]

Hi @martin,

I’m doing ok. After posting here I began getting my sleep back on track a bit, mainly through practicing general CBT/ACT techniques, mindfulness, and working on a healthy lifestyle in general (exercise, eating well before bed, managing my anxiety during the day, etc.). The therapist has been helpful.

The main issue for me has been addressing the anxiety and negative thoughts, which themselves contribute to the sleep issues. Whenever I get a bad night’s sleep I get extremely anxious about whether my physical and mental health will be affected. I guess the challenge is to trust your body that it will adjust and pull through?

Thanks for your replies.

[Martin Reed]

It can definitely be helpful to remind yourself that sleep is a core biological process that can’t be controlled or suspended indefinitely! The body never loses its ability to sleep. However, sleep can be disrupted due to high levels of sleep-related worry and anxiety, and by any attempts to control sleep.

So, changing the way you think about sleep (the ‘C’ in CBT-I) and changing unhelpful behaviors (the ‘B’ in CBT-I) can really help you take steps to improve your sleep for the long term.

Do keep us updated with your progress!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

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