[Laima]

I’ve tried everything possible: meditation, cyclic breathing, walking, talking about insomnia with my family, doctor , taking zolpidem magnesium clonazepam mirtazapine, listening to the podcasts, calming music, reading the book…all these strategies seem like trying to trick my brain, which is like entity on its own, independent country, a thing that operates on its own. Its more than bad, its terrible.Somedays I feel like dying slowly. I feel like people try to comfort me but they cannot rely to my experience. I even don’t know if they believe me. Its hard to describe what I think about during my sleepless nights and what comes to my mind when I’m trying to make my days through. From suicidal thoughts, to thinking that i am going crazy, developing some cognitive impairment, suffering from some undiagnosed illness…Last year around the same time i have not slept for 6 nights in the row. 6×24. That’s right 144 hours with 0 hours slept. This year I’m getting there again. I feel like I don’t know how to sleep anymore. I feel like dying slowly and alone.

[Martin Reed]

You’re definitely not alone!

It sounds as though you’ve tried lots of different things in an attempt to get rid of insomnia and make sleep happen — perhaps all the trying might be contributing to the problem you are experiencing? I wonder if your experience suggests that sleep cannot be controlled?

How did you make sleep happen before you experienced insomnia and how was your approach back then different to your approach today?

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