[Julymorning]

Hello everyone,

I’ve been implementing CBTi techniques for about 3 weeks now and have seen an improvement in my sleep so far.

It seems to me that I don’t have much of anxiety during the night if/when I’m awake – thanks to all those tips Martin has given during his 2-week free course and youtube videos.

What my biggest challenge is – anxiety during the day. When my insomnia started 2 month ago I didn’t have these morning anxiety “attacks” at all and mostly had anxiety in the evening before going to bed like most people describe on this forum. However, when I started sleeping better, next morning I began worrying about upcoming night and this worry grew bigger and bigger.

My anxiety kicks in automatically in the morning and starts building up during the day. I tried to identify any thoughts that may trigger it but can’t define any specific one other than remembering that “oh, I’m having this insomnia issue…”. I do not react to this thought (or at least I think so), but I just start feeling slowly my chest tightening and a lump in the throat pops up.

This condition lasts for about half a day making my life so colorless and miserable, I’m right away becoming irritated and I cry. I try to distract myself but nothing seems to interest me, I have a feeling that I’m loosing my mind, I feel trapped, hopeless and helpless. I went on a beautiful hike with my family the other day, it was sunny and warm and I hoped it would help but instead I spent the entire time thinking about how pathetic my life has become after I got insomnia.

My husband usually spends some time talking to me during my anxiety attack, convincing me that this will pass with time, and that I’m normal, and not losing my mind – sometimes it helps. But I really fear of losing my mind, making my kids’ and my husband’s life miserable.

This anxiety usually dissolves towards evening and in the evening I’m back to my real self, can laugh, smile, enjoy playing with my kids, having hope and planning for the future.

The next morning it starts all over again. I just can’t live like this anymore.

I tried different approach this morning – I said to myself, that I would welcome this anxiety. I was waiting for it in the morning (but it didn’t show up right away). And when it came, I tried to befriend with it but it again has put me into state of despair. I was running in circles searching the way out, but ended up crying again.

I am wondering if anyone on this forum has experienced something similar?
I wonder whether my case is somewhat unusual and I should see therapist for this?
I seek an answer whether this is “normal” what is happening to me or am I really loosing my mind?

Overall, I’m an over-thinker and have had anxiety (hyperventilation) during stressful times in the past, but it has never interfered with my life. I used to be a happy person… I do not and did not take any medications for either insomnia or anxiety, if that matters.

Thanks for any insight

• This topic was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Julymorning.
• This topic was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Julymorning.

[Chee2308]

Hello Julie!
What you described is very common. I remembered I had it too. All too familiar. So if you don’t sleep well, you naturally begin to worry about it. Then when you actually do sleep well, you also worry anyways. So it doesn’t matter how you sleep at all, you still worry regardless! And how and when does this all end? It becomes an endless cycle that feeds on itself, like insomnia.

I recommend you go to youtube and search Insomnia Insight by Daniel Erichsen. Insights #316, #322 and #392 are relevant.

I remember I got over this by slow desensitization over time. I just got used to it. Quite frankly, I actually got bored by it! Because nothing was happening and I wasn’t in any danger at all. I also began to realize the futility of catastrophizing over things that might or might not happen in the future anyways! I don’t have to sleep well every single night, I came to become unattached to the outcome. Because all that isn’t important. How I live my life is! As I worry about this useless stuff, time is flying by and they ain’t coming back. My existence is completely defined by my own experiences and how I live my life. I did not come into this world just to sleep or worry about it endlessly. I am here to live my life, to accumulate memorable experiences, to fully enjoy what life has to offer and at the end, these will be all that I am left with, not how I slept!

I hope you begin to see the light. Realize also that sleep and worry are not mutually exclusive events. There’s no such thing as “I must get rid of every ounce of worry right before bed”. Otherwise, nobody would be able to sleep at all. Sleep can still happen in a state of stress, it all depends on sleep drive, which is dependent on how long you have been awake. That’s all there is to it. Be enlightened and be free. Maybe you have read how sleep drive overcomes everything else, and you began worrying how one good night will start ruining everything else. What if you wasn’t aware of this or was blissfully ignorant of it, what would your feeling today be? Your mind may have been corrupted and gotten biased by your seeing and hearing, because you started favoring certain outcomes based on them. Suppose you are blind and deaf, and have no concept of time and no idea how long you slept, will these things matter anymore? Continue adhering to your current bedtime routine and ignore (or try to) everything else, you will do quite well indeed. Best wishes.

[Martin Reed]

Anxiety is a normal human emotion — so we know that you are a human being because you experience anxiety! Often, anxiety becomes problematic because of our natural desire to fight or avoid it — it doesn’t feel good, so we don’t want it near us.

Unfortunately, trying to push anxiety away is like trying to push a beach ball under the water. It only pushes back harder.

So, I wonder if it might be worth exploring a different approach? Instead of the default desire to fight or avoid anxiety, I wonder what would happen if you made a bit of space for it? If you allowed it to exist?

Instead of pushing that beach ball under the water, you allow it to float alongside you. You don’t want it there, of course, but there it is. If you then redirect attention onto things you have control over — like moving your body and engaging in actions and behaviors that are important to you, perhaps that anxiety will eventually drift off like a bobbing beach ball will eventually drift off?

Of course, it will likely come back again and again. But if you don’t fight it, it’ll likely drift off again and again, too.

If you can gently redirect your attention toward what’s in your control and what helps you move toward the kind of life you want to live, perhaps that anxiety might become less and less noticeable and less and less powerful when it returns in the future.

I hope there’s something helpful here!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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