[Lucie88]

Hi everyone,

I finished my course of CBT-I a couple of weeks back and am on what I think will be the last few weeks of SRT. I’m now sleeping very well except for a “holdout” night every couple of weeks. I’m trying not to dwell too much on these as strangely they are far worse than any of my nights I had prior to starting CBT-I as I’m not really sleeping at all during them.

I watched Martin’s video so I’m sure they too will disappear eventually and in the meantime I’m trying not to let them knock my confidence in my sleep too much.

In regards to my question, when is it appropriate to start moving away from CBT-I techniques such as not reading in bed and occasionally having a lie in. The lie ins aren’t so much of an issue as I quite enjoy the extra time in the morning at the weekend, but sometimes I’d really like one. I would however really prefer to start reading in bed again soon as sitting with my partner before we went to sleep is something I miss. I’m also finding I’m falling asleep when reading my book too and I think the transition would be smoother if I was already in bed.

Thanks!

[Jaran]

Hi @Lucie88. I am in about the same place as you. The act of getting out of bed when I got frustrated was extremely helpful for me at first. For one thing, it was “a plan”. I knew there was something to do other than lay there in misery for hours. And, I stopped dreading going to bed.

Now, I’m kindof worried that it is becoming a new behavior. I get in bed, and in the back of my mind I’m actually planning to get up to read in a few minutes. So I’m trying to change my perspective a bit and see it as a tool at my disposal, with staying in bed to read as another option.

I will be interested to see what other ideas you get. Thanks for the question.

[Lucie88]

It’s hard isn’t it when the stage we want to get eventually is thinking like a “normal” sleeper, ie someone who isn’t getting in and out of bed or being worried about whether they can read in bed!

I know what you mean about gaining a new sleep effort. I’m tempted tonight to read in bed in order to prove to myself that this will not stop me from sleeping.

Martin’s videos have been so helpful in allowing me to realise that what I physically do really will have very little impact on whether or not I sleep.

[Jaran]

Agreed. Getting up is useful, but it can’t be the only option if I’m to live like a “normal” sleeper. For one thing, we like to travel and it’s just not always practical.

Something I really have changed is that I don’t reach for my phone or computer when I can’t sleep, whether I get up or stay in bed. Going on the web can really become a rabbit hole for me, and I can spend hours that way and then have to pry myself away to try to sleep–usually then just thinking about the next link that might lead to something interesting. I read books with a low-light kindle. I enjoy it, it’s comfortable in bed or out, and it doesn’t bother my husband.

There is another sleep program called ACT-i (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) that teaches wakefulness acceptance. It does not teach getting out of bed when you can’t sleep. To me, it seems like the natural progression from CBT-i, and the coaches I’ve watched, including Martin, discuss elements of it.

[Martin Reed]

Hello Lucie! I admire your diligence in planning for a future where you pay absolutely zero attention to sleep!

You mentioned that you recently finished a course of CBT-I — did the person you worked with offer you any guidance on how to move away from the behavioral techniques you’ve been implementing as your sleep (and sleep confidence) improves?

If you wish to read in bed alongside your partner, my personal opinion would be to go for it, since we probably don’t want concern about sleep to make us remove pleasurable things from our lives!

You could always consider this to be an experiment — allow yourself to read in bed for a couple of weeks and at the end of the two weeks reflect back and consider what kind of impact it had (or didn’t have) on your sleep!

I hope this helps.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts