[reforger]

I suffer from insomnia, but am limited to self-help resources. Would appreciate advice that works.

[hiker]

Hi reforger, your request for advice “that works” is straightforward and sounds quite reasonable. The tricky part is that insomnia is not the type of problem you can solve logically, like say, wiring a house. There are certain rules about how electricity works, e.g. how many volts a device can transmit. If you follow the rules, you can build an electrical system and get the lights to turn on and off. (Or if you’re like me, get someone who knows what they’re doing rather than electrocute yourself or burn down the house—so maybe not the best analogy!)

My point is that insomnia does not make sense. The way it is supposed to work, when you are tired, you simply fall asleep, like babies do. What happens is we get something on our minds, don’t fall asleep right away, then start worrying about not sleeping. Once this happens, the thing we worried about initially can disappear, doesn’t matter, because now we can’t sleep because we are worried about not sleeping. And then we try not to think about that, which means you just think about it all the more. And on and on. And then you are exhausted from not sleeping, you can’t think straight, and who knows what kind of thoughts pop into your head, e.g. I wish I would just die, if only I could sleep, no one understands what I’m going through, etc etc.

What I found most helpful was any type of mindful awareness, which is a fad right now but has been around for centuries. There are free sites, e.g. palousemindfulness.com which you can explore to find something which resonates for you. The key is simply being aware of your thoughts, not being dominated by them. And I realize this sounds simplistic, but I travelled the insomnia road for a long time (doesn’t mean you will–lots of childhood trauma to work through) and while there is no guarantee of perfect sleep all the time, it is a solid way forward.

The other big benefit I discovered was praying for the strength to get through this nanosecond. Not prayer for a permanent cure, just for this nanosecond. Five minutes from now is the future; you don’t need help to get through that because it is not here. I live in a secular part of the U.S. where many people don’t believe in prayer or God, or at least in a God who loves us, but I offer this for your consideration.

And finally, I suggest sticking with this site. Even if you cannot afford the formal course, Martin offers a lot of free resources like emails and podcasts. It can be helpful to get reminders to stay on track, and also to know you are not alone.

Take care.

[Martin Reed]

What a wonderful post, @hiker! Thank you for taking the time to share!

@reforger — if you have any specific questions, please let us know!

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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