[DanielBme]

Hi, I’m so glad I found this forum. I didn’t know it existed until today. I’m hoping to get some assistance or thoughts on how to handle what I’ve been going through. I’ve been experiencing insomnia for the last 3 months. I am just unable to fall asleep no matter what I do. I can go days with zero sleep unless I take a sleeping pill.

Just to give some insight on when this started. I had 2 dogs for 15yrs. Last year I lost one due to liver disease and then after he passed away my other dog got sick. Beginning of July I had to say goodby to him and since then have been unable to fall asleep. I’ve tried all sorts of supplements and nothing worked and the more they didn’t work, the more anxiety I felt.

I am talking to a psychotherapist for CBT had 3 sessions so far. But honestly, I don’t think he’s a good fit with me and I’m looking for another that specializes in insomnia. I have an online meeting with one next Wednesday which seems an eternity away. While I am doing that I have been watching some YouTube videos which also include Therapy in a Nutshell. I am doing meditation twice a day as well as going for a 30min walk twice a day as well as writing in a journal. I also bought a pair of anti blue glasses so when I watch tv at night, it doesn’t keep me awake…

My confusion is on when I should go to sleep. I’ve read that the body loves a schedule and I should go to bed same time each night and get up each morning at the same time. Well, that’s not working. I’ve also read about sleep restriction therapy so tried going to bed at 2am and getting out of bed at 7am. Well, I did that for 2 nights and didn’t falls asleep but I did get very close as I felt myself nodding off but once I got into bed, it was gone. The third night I ended up taking half a sleeping pill. How long should I try sleep restrictive therapy if I don’t end up sleeping?

So, I’m confused as to what time should I be striving for to go to bed. I’m off work for the next 12 days and want to start. Also, everything I read says to keep bed only for sleeping but would it be wrong to put some quite music on when I go to bed and read? When I do that in the living room, by the time I get into bed, I feel the sleepiness has passed.

Help!

• This topic was modified 3 years, 1 months ago by DanielBme.

[Shattered]

Hi there, i hear you! i read about sleep restriction and I think it’s all about association with the bed, it’s for sleep and nothing else, no reading, no tv, no phones, cuppa tea! i would have breakfast in bed, cups of tea, tv, phone, books. so I’ve taken all these things away, even my clock and am doing the full on sleep restriction, EXCEPT when I go to bed around 1am-1.30 I turn lights out but I don’t get back up even when I’m not asleep as I never fall asleep fast, also the one night I tried to get out of bed my body was like lead, i really couldn’t move to get up. I get up at 8am no matter how much sleep I’ve had, it’s very hard but so is insomnia. up to last week i went back to bed every morning to get more sleep after the school run and never went back to sleep , got more frustrated and barely made it to work for the afternoons. It’s so so difficult so I’m going to give this a trial for a month, that’s what I’ve committed to and if there’s no difference I’ll think of something else, but i feel it will help. I’m exhausted this week but taking it very easy in the mornings, i relax on the sofa and watch morning tv , i tell myself it’s all for the good. Good luck!

[DanielBme]

Thanks for the reply. I’m going to try it starting tonight. Go to bed at 2am and get up at 7am. By bed has always been used only for sleep. I don’t really read in bed or watch tv or anything else. I think perhaps my issue is my dogs used to sleep in my bed next to me and now there’s a void I’m feeling. Hard to say really.

I have yet to decide if I should sign up for the paid course. I’m on day 3 of the free one. I’m off work next week so thought I’d start tonight so that maybe the worst of it is done by the time I go back to work.

[DanielBme]

So last night I tried the sleep restriction. Didn’t go well. Here’s my problem and perhaps someone can chime in.

I told myself I would go to bed at 1:30am and get out of bed around 6:30am. While I was watching tv last night, wearing anti blue glasses, I started to get really sleepy at about 12:45am. Could barely keep my eyes open. But, I forced myself to stay awake until 1:30. Well by 1:30 the feeling of barely keeping my eyes open was gone and so when I went to bed, I couldn’t sleep.

If in the case, should I have gone to bed then when I could barely keep my eyes open and then just got out of bed earlier rather?

[Elmtree57]

Hi Danielbme. Good question! I have the same issue. Can’t keep the eyes open longer because I hadn’t slept the night before! Seems like a vicious circle! Also, do the anti blue glasses really work?

[DanielBme]

Hard to say if the glasses work since I can’t sleep. I bought them figuring every little bit helps. Also some nights I don’t feel like reading and instead would rather watch tv. Knowing that blue light can make sleep more difficult, I figured I could watch tv until it’s time to go to bed without worrying about it.

I think tonight if I feel I can’t keep my eyes open any longer at say 12:45am, I’ll just go to sleep. Then wake up earlier. For me the issue is not how much sleep I get but just falling asleep.

[Elmtree57]

Hi DanielBme. I did some investigating about the glasses and seems they are no use. I believe the tv, any devices do emit the wrong light when we are trying to go to sleep or shortly after using these devices. The best thing to do… read a book or do something else not in your bedroom. Of all people, I know this is hard, especially when that’s how you existed prior to insomnia. Both my husband and I love to “go upstairs” to watch one of our shows. He’s fine as he falls asleep during the show! I, on the otherhand (lately), do not. It really drives me nuts I have to be so careful now. I know it’s best for me but it’s kinda a downer.

I hope you get to fall asleep soon! This situation is beyond my comprehension. Why me??

[Shattered]

I wonder also should we go to bed when we feel like sleeping, reading up on it , it says to go to bed when you feel very sleepy so I guess that’s when you could go to bed, it looks like you fought it well but then the sleep window was gone? I’m not sure, I never feel sleepy to that extent so I wouldn’t know, I feel tired but when I go to bed it’s like I’ve hit an electric spring because I become so alert once I hit the pillow, that’s why I’m doing the sleep restriction. i have to set a time of 1am as if I stayed up all night I wouldn’t feel sleepy! Hope it gets better for us all. it’s torture!

[DanielBme]

One thing I’ve been doing over the last 2 days is jump into my bed a few times a day and just lie there for 2 min or so and roll around as if I’m loving being in my bed. Sounds silly, but I figured my brain has an association of getting nervous in bed when it’s time to go to sleep, so I’m trying to condition it to seeing my bed as … non threatening in a sense. I’m also writing in a journal about wanting enjoying being in my bed and visualizing going to bed and having a good night’s rest.

We’ll see what happens!

[Chee2308]

Hello guys!
I just wanna add here that you people are not giving your own bodies the credit they deserve in making you sleep, it was your own bodies that did all the work always has and always will, everything else like doing x, y, z and a ton of other stuffs are completely useless and unnecessary. You guys are way underestimating your own body’s ability to sleep and that’s the problem! That’s why you feel you had to override your body and do all these stuffs. So when will the lesson ever be learnt?? You can’t force sleep, it’s your own body that’s calling all the shots

[Elmtree57]

Hi Chee 2308. We seem to go down that rabbit hole so fast after visiting the doc. So many pills!!! I am officially off all 3 as of tonight. Last of the 3 was a sleeping pill which I found out was so addictive. It’s been he’ll getting off. I had mentioned I started cbd/thc to help. I don’t see much of an improvement. I speak with a health professional today to discuss what I’m taking and dosage. I’m writing this at 3:27 am and have not slept at all. I know I’m not supposed to be on a device, but I’ve had it with reading. Tried painting but got frustrated. I’m cranky and everyone knows it. I hope this week turns a corner now that I’m off the sleeping pill.

[Chee2308]

Hello elmtree!
Getting frustrated is a good sign! It shows the futility of the situation and hence is becoming apparently clear that it is pointless to engage in any more sleep effort like taking endless sleeping pills and/or seeing countless doctors if the origin of your troubles is totally psychological.

Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t be on this at 327am”, you can go “well, why can’t I be on the computer at 327 am?”, “What’s the worse that could happen?”. The answer is probably nothing. Take it a step further and you can go “Hell, f*ck this! I’m doing whatever I want from now, I don’t care if I sleep or not!”. That’s when you begin letting go and stop getting scared. And then you know what? That’s when the magic might happen! Best wishes to you.

[DanielBme]

Chee2308, there’s one other concern. Last night I went to bed again feeling sleeping. Got into bed and could not sleep. Got out of bed and came back and could not sleep. I ended up taking half a sleeping pill to get some sleep. My concern is it would have been 4 day/nights with zero minutes of sleep. How long can I go like this without it causing harm?

[DanielBme]

I have one other question regarding sleep window. What exactly does one use when one can’t fall asleep at all?

I normally automatically wake up at 6:30-7am on my own. Do I count back 5 hrs and make that my window? So go to bed at 1:30am..ish..Since I can’t sleep at all, do I perhaps go to bed earlier say 11:30pm and then if I can’t sleep, get up after 20min, do something relaxing such as reading, then go back to bed. Then if I still can’t sleep get out of bed again and just continue the practice all night for a couple of nights or a week until I can maybe fall asleep? So in this case, is it better to go to bed earlier so I have more chances of falling asleep during the night?

I’m really confused on this aspect. What time should I be going to bed at for my window when I can’t fall asleep at all.

[DanielBme]

I was about to sign up for the online course and then noticed the small check box that says “that you have to be over 18 and not uses sleeping pills in the last 12 months”.

That part about sleeping pills makes no sense. It’s the very reason people want to sign up. We can’t sleep are stuck and want to get off sleeping pills. I only use them sparingly….very frustrating!

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