Depression has faded greatly now. My goodness is that how some of you feel with insomnia, that was absolutely horrible and time was going by each hour felt like years. I’ve been sleeping 0-3 every single night for the last 4 years and have only been depressed at max for 2-3 days around every few months. I took some meds in the very beginning but since then no pills at all. Plus have been doing a lot of running and working out over the years. Starting to realise just how well i’ve been doing. I listen to Charles Spurgeon sermons every night with WXM4 Sony headhones, they twist so can put one cup on my forehead and other on my ear so that I can rest my head on pillow. He is a preacher from 1800s “the prince of preachers” so his sermons have a narrated voice over which I find extra relaxing. Also Don Fortner sermons and A.W Pink sermons both extraordinary. It is a rare rare rare faith and only a very small amount of people believe what these preachers teach, truly small indeed probably less than a few hundred in the UK. There are only 4 churches that preach what they do in the UK actually. The Lord plainly states His flock is a little one and He would have never likened His people to jewels if they were so numerous. Doctrine is where God chose people before the creation of the world to go to Heaven, Gods elected people and that Christ didn’t die for everybody. Also that God controls everything, every thought of every human and every action, I mean literally controls everything. Saying all this now because I realise just how much God has kept me doing well all this time and because I don’t want others to feel how I just did. How I see this entire adversity is that God is using to strengthen my faith and I will emerge as gold. Patience is developed by realising that faith is precious and once strengthened through adversity, you will receive a proof of Gods love, “the endurance of any trial is worth the proof of Gods love” – Charles Spurgeon. Just for one moment imagine if you knew 100% that God was real, and He said to you that you are 100% going to Heaven how would you feel? That is the proof of Gods love. Patience is developed because you know you will emerge as gold, of which is an extraordinary rare faith of what can be more comforting if proven,,, knowing that God controls all things for you and that youre 100% going to Heaven. Also patience is developed by realising earthly riches are, dare I even mention in the same sentance, no comparison to the riches of Christ,,, therefore theres no rush in wherever you are or whatever you are doing, relax and be calm and know you will have a joy so deep and so rare you will be glad for every single second of pain. Unconditional election, if God chose you then you will 100% go to Heaven because He controls everything for one purpose only – to save His people. All those that are not His chosen only exist because God is using them to save His elect. While that may sound like a harsh truth, the fact is we all deserve Hell, we are all guilty before God, so therefore it is up to Him whatever He wants to do with us, but if we go to Hell it is still our own fault. For those of you reading, I urge you to listen to those sermons through the night. And I will ask are you one of His jewels? A true Christian