[sleepyjinx]

Hello. I’ve just recently discovered this website and the podcasts and I’m finding them very reassuring. This is not my first time experiencing insomnia, but rather my 3rd. Each time the period it happens goes on longer and gets harder. I would think it would be the opposite because I should be able to tell myself easily, “You’ve done this before, you’ll make it through again.” But I try to explain it to my husband like it’s almost PTSD. Those first two experiences were so traumatic that even though it’s been 6 years since my last spell, right now I’m in the throws of another and once again, I feel like it’s controlling me. The last time it happened, my doctor put my on Lexapro and it resolved itself quickly. I’ve stayed on it ever since, but I think that’s what is making this tougher. I don’t have that “fix.” I do know that I catastrophize things and I’m going to try really hard to “accept insomnia” and not try to fix it. However, my biggest fear, going into psychosis, after several days without sleep is just controlling me. I feel like if I could just get that thought out of my mind that I will be ok. But I’ve read so many things about that happening, and seeing it on forums (that now I realize aren’t helpful) that I feel like I’m so stuck on that fear, I can’t move on. I’m just not in a good head space right now. Any help or positive thoughts would be appreciated!

[sleep]

I wonder if after you take lexapro for so long it no longer works. That is the way it was with benadryl, it worked great for a year or two and then I had to up the dose and after a while it seems I got immuned to it and it did nothing for me. It has to be disappointing not sleeping after 6 years, wow. Well you know you can sleep anyway. I have been sleeping good since I found this site a couple of years ago but I know not to get complacent.

The other night I fell asleep on the couch, woke back up to watch the late show, Jimmy Fallon and then was wide awake and could not get back to sleep. Lesson learned. If I fall asleep go to bed dont get up and watch tv. I use to be able to do that, I could sleep at any time but now I am sensitive to it. I am happy though to be back sleeping good. I probably wont ever get back to how it was but I have to accept that and am happy now that I sleep most nights, hardly ever have a bad night. Good luck and you will figure it out! Martin Reed helped so much.

[sleepyjinx]

Thanks for your encouragement 🙂

[Megan B7]

Just came across your post and wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. I’ve had a similar thing of struggling with insomnia in the past that really upset me and had a big impact on how I saw myself and my ability to cope with life. I’d been sleeping well for years (funnily enough, around the same time- 6 years), so it’s scared the hell out of me to find myself back here. I hope you’re continuing to feel comforted by the podcasts etc. I recently signed up for the course and noticing some small changes over the last week that I’m happy with, especially in my view and understanding.

One thing that’s helped is I promised myself that for the moment, I’ll only read/watch/listen to Martin Reed’s information. Until I found his stuff I was compulsively looking at different YouTubers and reading forums etc. There is so much unhelpful information out there that can really scare you even more.

Anyway just wanted to tell you that you’re going to be okay. It’s scary and distressing – but I am starting to have hope I can get through this and if I can, you can 🙂

[sleepyjinx]

Thank you so much for your reply! I really appreciate you!

[hiker]

Hi sleepyjinx, okay first off, I don’t think you’re jinxed!

I agree with the other responders that you can get through the bumps in the road. The only thing I can add is I don’t think you need fear going into psychosis after a bad stretch of insomnia. I dealt with insomnia and severe depression for many years. I had thoughts that maybe I would go “crazy” and seriously considered suicide. I also had feelings of paranoia and profound inadequacy.

While all that was quite unpleasant, it does not amount to a bona fide psychotic break, e.g. hearing voices, seeing people who aren’t there, etc. Feeling paranoid does not constitute clinical paranoia.

In short, you may feel strongly that you are losing your mind, but that’s the insomnia talking.

I agree there is a lot of nonsense on YouTube and other forums, and probably best to stay on this one for sound advice. I am confident Martin et al are sifting through and editing out anything off-base.

Take care, you are not alone in this.

[Author]

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